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hi, i am a little overweight mom, im 245lbs 5ft8 , we was at church tonight and their was a dinner, i brought pizza which added up to 25.00 , anyways, as i was in line with my plate, i grab a piece of popeyes fried chicken and my son says, oh i knew you would grab that fat food, its for fat people like you.....i know a few overheard him, i simply put the chicken back and said i will be in the car....when he finally got out church i did not speak to him the entire way home... he says these things all the time to me, but at home it never bothered me because we was in privacy, once he said it at church around other people, oh it was like a knife went through my heart. HelP...
You never taught him not to say things like that to you. It is your job to teach him right from wrong. What good does it do to keep silent?
It is, actually, but I won't say a word about it except just because everyone else is jumping off a cliff doesn't make it okay for you to jump of the cliff, too.
Age matters because what his intentions with those comments change depending on age. Regardless, she should have a chat with him about how it is rude to remark on another person's weight, particularly in public.
It's not the weight.
Take this scenario. Abusive Dad calls mother a ***** all the time, whenever he gets a little angry. Say the son who is watching all this repeats it on mom in a fit. No matter the age, it simply takes the life out of the mother's system. The damage it can cause is inexplicable.
Take this scenario. Abusive Dad calls mother a ***** all the time, whenever he gets a little angry. Say the son who is watching all this repeats it on mom in a fit. No matter the age, it simply takes the life out of the mother's system. The damage it can cause is inexplicable.
I agree.....and the child IS disrespecting his mother, pure and simple...her weight is his and hers excuse to do it/do nothing about it.
hi, i am a little overweight mom, im 245lbs 5ft8 , we was at church tonight and their was a dinner, i brought pizza which added up to 25.00 , anyways, as i was in line with my plate, i grab a piece of popeyes fried chicken and my son says, oh i knew you would grab that fat food, its for fat people like you.....i know a few overheard him, i simply put the chicken back and said i will be in the car....when he finally got out church i did not speak to him the entire way home... he says these things all the time to me, but at home it never bothered me because we was in privacy, once he said it at church around other people, oh it was like a knife went through my heart. HelP...
My parents are pretty big, and they are VERY unhealthy. I think its pretty natural for concern to escalate to meanness when your parents don't take care of themselves.I have to really watch it. . .because it would be so easy to just blast them like the above. .
this is a two prong issue. What is appropriate in public, how that makes you feel. .
but you may want to attempt to try to address the issue too, the weight.
Or....how about a mother who acknowledges to her son, that he's right. How about a mother who develops a healthy relationship with her son by saying, "Son, you're right....to a point. I need to lose weight. I need to be reminded to make healthy choices about the foods I eat. Now....let's get to the subject of where you were wrong! If you want to discuss my weight issue, you will do it in a respectful manner. Don't you EVER insult me, not in public or in the privacy of our home. If you can't be mature enough to figure out how to talk to me about my weight, in a RESPECTFUL manner, do not speak to me about it at ALL!"
How about if the OP and her son go grocery shopping together? How about if the OP lets him see that she's listening to his "concerns" about her health? How about if this child sees that things are going to change, as far as eating habits go? How about if son sees that there will be no pizza, no chips, no junk foods, no doughnuts, pastries or cookies will be purchased? How about if he sees that mom is learning to avoid temptation, simply by refusing to bring those unhealthy foods into the house? Not only will mom be healthier, but dear son will be eating healthier as well. Unfortunately, what dear son DOESN'T realize is this...even though he is blessed with the metabolism of youth, HE will be sacrificing his treats as well.
Mom kills two birds with one stone. 1) Son realizes that he's being heard. 2) Son is not getting the snack foods he'd like to have. LOL
My parents are pretty big, and they are VERY unhealthy. I think its pretty natural for concern to escalate to meanness when your parents don't take care of themselves.I have to really watch it. . .because it would be so easy to just blast them like the above. .
You would disrespect and be mean to your parents based on their weight? (Are these the same parents who have raised you, fed you and put a roof over your head?) You would "give them a blast". Wow.
. I think its pretty natural for concern to escalate to meanness when your parents don't take care of themselves.I have to really watch it. . .because it would be so easy to just blast them like the above.
Not in my world, it's not. One can easily convey disapproval of someone else's choices without being rude, mean or disrespectful of the person.
Re: the OP, I would have a strongly worded talk with your son about how to appropriately convey whatever concerns he has, that there is a time and place for everything and that in public using the language he did was not the way for him to communicate with you about this issue. I second the opinion stated up thread that perhaps having a church leader speak with him or with both of you together might be helpful.
Instead of his disrespect not bothering you in privacy, that's where you went wrong. You let him get away w/ it for years and now seemed shocked at his comment in public?
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