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I see it as protect and nurture vs. throwing a child to the wolves.
Well yes, a parent has to protect. I certainly would not advocate wolf throwing! But over much protection comes at the expense of the child's life education. So if the goal of home schooling was to pick friends for her vs say be more involved in the day-to-day troubleshooting of these issues, then I think it would be a bad idea. We have a short 18 years to raise them from cute little plops to fully functional and capable adults able to handle issues themselves. The globe has gotten a lot smaller with our new found technological instant communication. And with that there are some new risks. And none of the old risks have gone away.
I like the image of a scaffold. A scaffold holds the workman up to do his job. But it does not do the job for the workman. Likewise the parent has to prevent any harm that will cause permanent issue, hold them up until they are ready to do the job.
She did something to the boy that made him angry. He swore at her. Why does anyone really need to be involved in this? If she doesn't want the boy to be angry with her she shouldn't have told his secret. Consider it a life lesson and stay out of it. It's not a big deal.
She did something to the boy that made him angry. He swore at her. Why does anyone really need to be involved in this? If she doesn't want the boy to be angry with her she shouldn't have told his secret. Consider it a life lesson and stay out of it. It's not a big deal.
I thought exactly the same thing. She gave out information that she shouldn't have and the boy got upset. Was it a nice thing to say? No but he was angry that she shared that information. Maybe next time she will mind her own business.
Not seeing why there should be a big hoohah about this. If there were boys or girls sending mean text messages out of nowhere and cursing at the girl then there would be an issue to address but this was an event. She said something that upset him, he responded.
She did something to the boy that made him angry. He swore at her. Why does anyone really need to be involved in this? If she doesn't want the boy to be angry with her she shouldn't have told his secret. Consider it a life lesson and stay out of it. It's not a big deal.
I agree with Momma bear. Once I heard "the rest of the story" it changed my perspective on the situation.
It does not appear that the swearing & bad comments were an ongoing problem, just an isolated incident.
Talk to the girl about it, but it shouldn't be a huge deal.
I've seen it. It's not common, but I've seen it. I think it's a prelude to puberty, when the rapport then "changes," for lack of a better word. If it continues on through HS, then I would view it as a problem that requires quick attention, particularly if both repeated and unprovoked.
Well yes, a parent has to protect. I certainly would not advocate wolf throwing! But over much protection comes at the expense of the child's life education. So if the goal of home schooling was to pick friends for her vs say be more involved in the day-to-day troubleshooting of these issues, then I think it would be a bad idea. We have a short 18 years to raise them from cute little plops to fully functional and capable adults able to handle issues themselves. The globe has gotten a lot smaller with our new found technological instant communication. And with that there are some new risks. And none of the old risks have gone away.
You have to keep in mind that public school is a highly abnormal situation historically and doesn't prepare most people for real life very well. Children spend 6-8 hours per day with a very narrow selection of "peers". Much of their after-school time is spent with peers as well. This group, and not parents, becomes the predominant influence on their character and values. Life after school isn't like that at all.
I agree that parental control has to be gradually relinquished for the child to develop normally. But it's like anything else - learning to swim, let's say - you start out with lots of control and care and gradually release them to the entire pool when they fully understand the dangers and know their own strengths and limits.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
I like the image of a scaffold. A scaffold holds the workman up to do his job. But it does not do the job for the workman. Likewise the parent has to prevent any harm that will cause permanent issue, hold them up until they are ready to do the job.
That's not a bad metaphor. But someone has to choose the parameters of the project to begin with. Is it washing windows 20 stories high? Or maybe painting a fence in the backyard? The parents decide the when, where, and what of the project; the level of danger, the size of the scaffold, who the co-workers are, the training required, the use of equipment, etc.
There's a new twist. The boy has been pressuring her to take "videos" of herself and send them to him. He never says what kind..just keeps asking for "THE video"..
I'm pretty sure that discovery sealed the fate of her being allowed to use it for a bit.
There's a new twist. The boy has been pressuring her to take "videos" of herself and send them to him. He never says what kind..just keeps asking for "THE video"..
I'm pretty sure that discovery sealed the fate of her being allowed to use it for a bit.
I think her parents should help her say no. It is an important lesson for a girl to learn.
My view is (again just mine, I'm not saying this to them) that an 11 year doesn't need to be put in that kind of situation. Some friend of hers will be dumb enough to do it and then go through the issues with it.
I'm not sure what is going on at this point, I'll probably get an update in the next day or two.
My view is (again just mine, I'm not saying this to them) that an 11 year doesn't need to be put in that kind of situation. Some friend of hers will be dumb enough to do it and then go through the issues with it.
I'm not sure what is going on at this point, I'll probably get an update in the next day or two.
It's too late. She is already in the position.
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