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What a terrible situation for this little girl to be in. I definitely see red flags here and would curtail overnight visits immediately if she were my dear daughter. If this isn't possible, I'd demand that a lock be installed on her bedroom door so she wouldn't have any unwanted visitors in her bed. I cannot even fathom her father's reaction when she shared this with him. This poor child.
If I was really in this situation, I'd wouldn't allow one on one time for a bit, until I've talked to the boy about it.
Exactly what I would do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
I did not respond to most of the thread for this reason. No one seems to give a whit about what the boy has to say.
Right. The way some folks here are acting, this situation is as bad as a 30-year-old man climbing into bed with a 6-year-old girl. The fact of the matter is, these children are only three years apart, if that.
A 13-year-old boy's hormones are jumping around and changing like crazy. The worst case scenario, as I see it, is that he was simply curious, and he's most likely just going through a passing phase. He shouldn't be labeled as some sort of child molester, when he himself is still a baby.
Sorry. 13 is NOT a baby. Some boys mature early. Some will even be shaving. some have hormones that jump about, others have hormones that have already settled in and influence behavior. Some are even active sexually at 13.
Pretending that a 13 year old is still a baby is pointless.
No, he is not some kind of molester, but he is MALE.
Sorry. 13 is NOT a baby. Some boys mature early. Some will even be shaving. some have hormones that jump about, others have hormones that have already settled in and influence behavior. Some are even active sexually at 13.
Pretending that a 13 year old is still a baby is pointless.
No, he is not some kind of molester, but he is MALE.
Neither of them is a baby. OTOH, a 13 year old is certainly old enough not to climb into bed with his step sister. The girl's reaction is certainly clear enough. She was scared.
I have a 12 yo son, soon to be 13 and a 9 year old daughter. I get it. But it seems to me a complex situation that needn't require throwing either under the bus. One can take good care of the daughter without castigating the son, in this case step son. Each has needs.
Don't assume that the 13 year old has molestation on his mind..He may be just an innocent child..But my warning is...People are like little animals...They need close supervision...Don't persecute the boy because he is a male..and is approaching the beginning of manhood.. This is all normal...Just keep an eye on the children the way you would on puppies...Once any sort of sex drive kicks in...The boy will not have a clue on what is appropriate or not- His judgement will be askew...just like it is with adults when it comes to sex- Key phrase...supervision not persecution...just do you job and don't make the boy feel like a freak for being male.
Yes, knowing how my own kids are, my first guess is that he did it to make her mad. The OP said the two don't really get along that well and a 13 year old boy can actually still be just taunting and teasing the girls. With my kids and the way my siblings were when we were kids including all the cousins, it would be reasonable to think he was just provoking her which might be why she was upset. Kids that age can easily still be in the "no girls allowed", "no boys allowed" stage. I remember boys at age 13 getting very upset about girls trying to invade their tree house.
If the two got along, I would first think that he just wanted the companionship -- but that's judging by my own kids what you would first suspect.
13 is a little young to be a sexual predator which is most likely why he didn't do anything. But - then there are those sexually precocious kids who know way too much and have seen too much that will want to experiment or satisfy their urges - but according to the story here, he didn't go there.
A thirteen year old boy is at the very early stages of manhood. A young man should not be in bed with a 10 year old. Simple as that. What I did notice though is some sort of resentment for young males ..much like you see with some people who are out walking their dogs and scowl at a person with an un-neutered male dog...as if it was something aggressive, evil and ugly. The reaction is a possible over reaction...When you hear stories concerning boys of 6 years old who are charged with sexual assault for merely touching a female...It make you wonder if males are going out of fashion...I wonder if the parents would have a problem with a supposed gay young man getting in bed with their 10 year old son..? Times are changing and things are getting more twisted when it comes to human sexuality..but as I mentioned before...Young immature males need supervision.
I'm saying he's guilty of inappropriate behavior and there is no reason it should ever happen again.
Don't use the term guilty...we are not taking about a rapist..but a dumb kid who has just reached puberty. The boy probably had nothing on his mind that was inappropriate...it seems that the adults had all the dirty thoughts and might be projecting. I have not bothered reading the thread...so I don't know the whole story...it's simple...The young male may be developed or he may still be a 9 year old mentally and physically...Still what this reminds me of is the story about the little boy...I think he was about 6...touched the butt of a little girl at school- and the cops took the child away in cuffs...I think the adult have issues..and extreme eccentric feminism along with male hate might play a role in this silly crap.
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