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I have a 16-year old son who is normally very well-behaved, respectful, and responsible. But recently, he has gotten into major trouble.
I own a time-share in a small 4-seat single-engine airplane, along with 3 other people. I have had this aircraft for several years now, and have often taken my wife and my son up in it for rides. I am certificated as a Flight Instructor and my son wanted to learn to fly himself, so I have been teaching him. But he is not ready to actually go for his pilot's license yet (he must be 17 first anyway- he will be turning 17 in December). He has soloed and has a "Student Pilot Certificated", which allows him to fly by himself, but not with passengers, and only under close supervision.
On Saturday night, after my wife and I had gone to bed, he snuck out, picked up his girlfriend (who is also 16), and the two of them went joy-riding in my airplane!!
I was asleep when he snuck out, but I woke up in the middle of the night and went downstairs to get a drink of water. I looked out the kitchen window at the street and noticed my car was gone. I went back upstairs and saw that the door to my son's room was open and I saw that he was not in bed. So I woke my wife up we realized he must have snuck out. So I took her car to go look for him while she waited at home in case he came back. Needless to say, we were worried sick about him. My wife suspected he might be with his girlfriend so she called the girlfriend's parents as I was leaving. When I got her car keys, I noticed that my keys to the airplane were gone from the shelf where we keep our keys. It crossed my mind that my son might have taken the airplane but I thought to myself that he would never do anything so monumentally stupid. Boy, was I wrong. About 5 minutes after I left, My wife called me on my cell phone and said she had talked to my son's girlfriend's father and she was not at home either. I looked for him for another 20 minutes before my wife called to say that my son and his girlfriend had been caught by her parents when he dropped her off at her house and she tried to sneak back in. It was about 3:00 in the morning at this point. So I went home and my wife and I went over to pick up our son. He seemed sheepish about what he'd done and I think he realized that he is in big trouble. My wife told him we were very disappointed in him. I asked him about the airplane key and he denied taking it but when we got home, his girlfriends parents called again and said their daughter told them she and my son had gone for a flight in my airplane! As you would expect, they were livid that their daughter had been on a plane flown by 16-year-old kid with no pilot's license. I was furious at my son, too, for being so foolish and dangerous. I was to angry to deal with the situation then so I sent him to bed.
On Sunday, after my son got up, I took his Student Pilot Certificate and tore it up right in front of him. I told him I was discontinuing his flight training since he has proven he's not responsible enough to fly. I also told him that he was grounded until further notice.
I was wondering what else I should do about this, and what would be a good punishment? He risked both his life and his girlfriend's life by flying at NIGHT without a pilot's license and they could have been killed. He also deliberately disobeyed me and FAA REGULATIONS about the privileges student pilots have. If the FAA had found out about this little episode, they would certainly have revoked his student pilot certificate and done who knows what else. He is basically a good kid but he showed extremely poor judgment and apalling irresponsibility in what he did this weekend.
So far, his punishment is:
-I am discontinuing his flight training, permanently. He broke the law by flying without a license and he has proven he is not responsible enough to be a pilot.
-He is grounded from leaving the house, and from TV, computer, video games, phone, seeing friends or his girlfriend (which hardly matters as her parents have forbidden her to ever see him again), and desserts. He has not been allowed to go anywhere except school.
Is this a good punishment? And how long should he be grounded for? I am thinking at least a few months, possibly longer. What do you think? Is there anything else I should be doing.
gimme it: "Grounded" is not intended to be a play on words, although I guess it kind of is, since I'm also discontinuing his flight training. But by "Grounded", I mainly mean that my son may not leave the house except for school, and that he is forbidden to use any electronics, talk to, see, or hang out with any friends, and is grounded from dessert.
I have grounded him in the past but those times it just meant no electronics (no TV, computer, video games, etc.) or that he couldn't go anywhere but school. This time, since he did something so reckless and dangerous, I decided to make it an extra strict grounding. My son has only been grounded a few times in the past, and never for more than a week at a time. This is the first time he's done anything this stupid or dangerous and I hope I can knock some sense into him and He'll never do this again.
I have a 16-year old son who is normally very well-behaved, respectful, and responsible. But recently, he has gotten into major trouble.
I own a time-share in a small 4-seat single-engine airplane, along with 3 other people. I have had this aircraft for several years now, and have often taken my wife and my son up in it for rides. I am certificated as a Flight Instructor and my son wanted to learn to fly himself, so I have been teaching him. But he is not ready to actually go for his pilot's license yet (he must be 17 first anyway- he will be turning 17 in December). He has soloed and has a "Student Pilot Certificated", which allows him to fly by himself, but not with passengers, and only under close supervision.
On Saturday night, after my wife and I had gone to bed, he snuck out, picked up his girlfriend (who is also 16), and the two of them went joy-riding in my airplane!!
I was asleep when he snuck out, but I woke up in the middle of the night and went downstairs to get a drink of water. I looked out the kitchen window at the street and noticed my car was gone. I went back upstairs and saw that the door to my son's room was open and I saw that he was not in bed. So I woke my wife up we realized he must have snuck out. So I took her car to go look for him while she waited at home in case he came back. Needless to say, we were worried sick about him. My wife suspected he might be with his girlfriend so she called the girlfriend's parents as I was leaving. When I got her car keys, I noticed that my keys to the airplane were gone from the shelf where we keep our keys. It crossed my mind that my son might have taken the airplane but I thought to myself that he would never do anything so monumentally stupid. Boy, was I wrong. About 5 minutes after I left, My wife called me on my cell phone and said she had talked to my son's girlfriend's father and she was not at home either. I looked for him for another 20 minutes before my wife called to say that my son and his girlfriend had been caught by her parents when he dropped her off at her house and she tried to sneak back in. It was about 3:00 in the morning at this point. So I went home and my wife and I went over to pick up our son. He seemed sheepish about what he'd done and I think he realized that he is in big trouble. My wife told him we were very disappointed in him. I asked him about the airplane key and he denied taking it but when we got home, his girlfriends parents called again and said their daughter told them she and my son had gone for a flight in my airplane! As you would expect, they were livid that their daughter had been on a plane flown by 16-year-old kid with no pilot's license. I was furious at my son, too, for being so foolish and dangerous. I was to angry to deal with the situation then so I sent him to bed.
On Sunday, after my son got up, I took his Student Pilot Certificate and tore it up right in front of him. I told him I was discontinuing his flight training since he has proven he's not responsible enough to fly. I also told him that he was grounded until further notice.
I was wondering what else I should do about this, and what would be a good punishment? He risked both his life and his girlfriend's life by flying at NIGHT without a pilot's license and they could have been killed. He also deliberately disobeyed me and FAA REGULATIONS about the privileges student pilots have. If the FAA had found out about this little episode, they would certainly have revoked his student pilot certificate and done who knows what else. He is basically a good kid but he showed extremely poor judgment and apalling irresponsibility in what he did this weekend.
So far, his punishment is:
-I am discontinuing his flight training, permanently. He broke the law by flying without a license and he has proven he is not responsible enough to be a pilot. -He is grounded from leaving the house, and from TV, computer, video games, phone, seeing friends or his girlfriend (which hardly matters as her parents have forbidden her to ever see him again), and desserts. He has not been allowed to go anywhere except school.
Is this a good punishment? And how long should he be grounded for? I am thinking at least a few months, possibly longer. What do you think? Is there anything else I should be doing.
Yes, it sounds like a good punishment. i would suggest 4 to 6 months (a lifetime in teenage months). If he doesn't seem to be taking it seriously perhaps talking with some teens who were seriously injured or handicapped in stupid car accidents may help. Or talking to the parents of teens who died. MADD or other organizations could arrange that.
Regarding his flight training. Don't tell him, but maybe in a few years you would want to try again. There is a world of difference between a stupid, reckless 16 year old and a much more mature 22 or 24 or 26 year old. I personally do not feel that he should be banned for life (even though that was a very inappropriate action on his part) from flying, unless it was done by the airplane authorites at the time.
I agree with Germaine. A long grounding, and it would be a shame to never have him learn to fly if it is something you and he both enjoy. But definitely not until he is more mature. I also think the idea of doing some volunteer work is a great idea too. I don't think it matters what it is although working with victims or handicap people in some way is a great idea. Maybe require him to volunteer X number of hours, or X number of Saturday mornings, whatever.
IMO this is a sign that he is ready to make his own decisions, do not be fooled.
You better prepare to cut the cord.
Make him responsible to make his own way.
That means get a job, keep a job right now.
If he wants the pilot certification he can find an instructor and pay for it.
Sounds harsh?
Think of the numbers of people he put at risk.
You're right. This was an insanely bad idea. He is so lucky law enforcement did not find out.
I think your punishment is appropriate, probably 3 months for the electronics. Put off flight training for a year when he actually is of age or longer at your discretion.
If he does not have a job, help him get one. He should focus on school and part-time work.
Not that you would do this, but Do NOT refer to the incident constantly, or make sarcastic, off-hand comments about it. Let it lie, unless he brings it up. No need to rub his face in it; he will only lose respect for you. I agree that he is demonstrating his desire to make his own decisions, but he needs to know that each decision has consequences.
Therefore, if he asks you if he can have his (phone, computer etc.) before punishment is up, just matter-of-factly say, "No, because you still are being punished for the time you deceived me and broke federal law by taking the airplane up."
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