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Rarely use this term, but here I go: I HATE this attitude. By your logic, I should say to you: "Then go read to your child" or "Take your own child to a gym" or "Teach your own kid how to draw". You are completely missing the point I made.
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Originally Posted by lkb0714
But when you make it a school wide event, it ostracizes some children.
TOO BAD. Not everything in life has to include YOU. Everything isn't about YOU.
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Originally Posted by lkb0714
We had a student a few years back whose mother died in a house in the fall of his senior year. That event made us realize we should rename our mother/son baseball game to the family field day.
The name did change made sure we did not rub salt in an already unbearable wound and did not in anyway prevent mothers from "bonding" with their child.
While that was very nice of you, I think it's unnecessary. We all must realize that things we may see or hear are not directed to US.
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Originally Posted by lkb0714
Silly to suggest it is the name and exclusivity of the event that cause the bonding.
Silly to suggest it is the name of the event that causes hurt feelings. Also just as silly is the refusal to see that MOST schools definitely allow and encourage other people to come to these events.
Silly to suggest it is the name of the event that causes hurt feelings. Also just as silly is the refusal to see that MOST schools definitely allow and encourage other people to come to these events.
It isn't sill in the least. If it is FOR other people why not name it for other people? What a teapot tempest.
Maybe I am more sensitive to this as I live and work with in eye sight of the world trade center. My daughter has gone to schools with children who lost parents, and I have had students who lost parents. Maybe it makes us more sensitive in general to families which do not fit the nuclear family mold.
Either way, a fun day for one family just isn't worth hurting other kids. At least at my school.
GMAB
As I said, I was once a single mother with nary a clue I'd ever be married. I understand having a child without a father - due to death, deployment, abandoment, whatever. I also live in an area that is full of single parents, grandparents acting in absence of parents, etc. I get it. However, I think we would all do well to remind ourselves that not everything that doesn't include us is a jab at US. It isn't meant to be mean or rude or whatever. No one is trying to hurt anyone. I really resent the tone you've chosen to take here when it would be just as possible to have a productive conversation without the thinly veiled insults.
It isn't sill in the least. If it is FOR other people why not name it for other people? What a teapot tempest.
Probably because that is the main focus of the event but everyone is invited. Are we not allowed to acknowledge differences now? Are we unable to encourage relationships between different family members? Is it really terrible to even hint at the fact that :gasp: little girls have daddies and :double gasp: they like to spend time with them at an event like a dance? Things are way overboard when we are quibbling about a NAME.
And honestly anyone with a bit of common sense realizes that paternal involvement in schools is problematic in most areas and something to be encouraged. This is why the term Daddy Daughter dance is still in place in many schools.
And honestly anyone with a bit of common sense realizes that paternal involvement in schools is problematic in most areas and something to be encouraged. This is why the term Daddy Daughter dance is still in place in many schools.
As I said, I was once a single mother with nary a clue I'd ever be married. I understand having a child without a father - due to death, deployment, abandoment, whatever. I also live in an area that is full of single parents, grandparents acting in absence of parents, etc. I get it. However, I think we would all do well to remind ourselves that not everything that doesn't include us is a jab at US. It isn't meant to be mean or rude or whatever. No one is trying to hurt anyone. I really resent the tone you've chosen to take here when it would be just as possible to have a productive conversation without the thinly veiled insults.
So actually based on your last two post it isnt about anyone else except YOU.
A simple name change would cause YOU no harm, and would save others pain.
But since you like the name, they just have to deal with that addition to their pain.
I totally get it. And resent all you like, your attitude to those who are suffering is really clear, "I don't care if the very NAME of this event reminds you of all you have lost, I should not be put out in the least".
Probably because that is the main focus of the event but everyone is invited. Are we not allowed to acknowledge differences now? Are we unable to encourage relationships between different family members? Is it really terrible to even hint at the fact that :gasp: little girls have daddies and :double gasp: they like to spend time with them at an event like a dance? Things are way overboard when we are quibbling about a NAME.
Yet, you are the one who has nothing to lose by a NAME change except alleviate others pain. No one loses out by going to "Family Field Day" instead of Mother/Son ball game at a PUBLIC school. But your want of a name to pretend a bond exists outweighs the lose of a parent. I literally cannot fathom the sheer lack of kindness.
Probably because that is the main focus of the event but everyone is invited. Are we not allowed to acknowledge differences now? Are we unable to encourage relationships between different family members? Is it really terrible to even hint at the fact that :gasp: little girls have daddies and :double gasp: they like to spend time with them at an event like a dance? Things are way overboard when we are quibbling about a NAME.
I agree. It sounds like a lot of nitpicking to me. My dd's daycare had a Donuts with Dad day, and a Muffins with Mom day. It was made perfectly clear that ANYONE could come, but it was still called Donuts with Dad. My dd's uncle came. Other kids had dads, uncles, grandfathers, friends of the family, stepparents, etc. What, is someone going to ask to see birth certificates and DNA evidence at the door to these events? No one cared. The kids and their special person had a good time regardless of the name.
In the original article, IF the mom had tried to substitute the "dad" with another person, including HERSELF, and been told no, that would have been wrong and I would agree with the lawsuit. However, I didn't see anything that said she'd tried any alternatives. I was a fatherless child myself, and am raising one, so I'm not unsympathetic to that situation. But any "father" event there was at my school, my MOTHER came, and it wasn't a big deal. I didn't go to any dances with her, but if I'd wanted to she would have. I would do the same for my dd. But filing a lawsuit because the name of the event might hurt my dd's feelings seems petty to me. Pretty soon, everything under the sun will have to come to an end, because there will always be someone who is left out of something. I don't think this kind of conforming is teaching kids anything about accepting their situation, whatever it is, and dealing with it the best they can.
So actually based on your last two post it isnt about anyone else except YOU.
A simple name change would cause YOU no harm, and would save others pain.
But since you like the name, they just have to deal with that addition to their pain.
I totally get it. And resent all you like, your attitude to those who are suffering is really clear, "I don't care if the very NAME of this event reminds you of all you have lost, I should not be put out in the least".
Very clear.
Nope. I'm not even sure how you made that leap. Ah well. It's clear you are more interested in engaging in nastiness and I'm afraid I'm not interested in such tripe. Have a nice evening. If ever you feel the desire to actually debate the issue at hand, let me know.
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