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So my friend is having a very tough financial time at the moment. She'll be okay once her DH gets paid, but it's not for 3 more weeks. Her DD's birthday is in a week and she doesn't have even enough to buy a present. Would it be wrong if I found something to send it to her to give her DD? (and she doesn't even have to say where it came from, she can say it's from mom and dad)
I'd rather not ask her, because A) she would say no thanks don't worry; and B) I'm not sure if she would be offended. I know she's sad that she can't give her child a gift, and I wouldn't wanna make her mad.
Honest opinions - how would you feel as the parent?
What a kind thought that is. In a wold of selfishness you want to help a friend and a little girl have a better birthday. How wonderful!
Personally, I wouldn't be offended. I'd be touched I had a friend who cared that much about my daughter and me. But if you're worried about that don't go overboard (she may feel she needs to repay you). Pick something you know the girl would like - or a gift card - and send it to the mom with a note: "Mary Lou is such a special little girl, I just wanted to make sure she had a present to open. If you want to tell her it's from Mom and Dad and you think that would help her have a more special birthday that's fine with me. Hugs. I hope we all see better times soon. Love,...."
if you are concerned how she would react (i.e. you suspect she is proud) then i would suggest you ask her first - let it be her decision whether she accept or not, rather than yours (besides, she might not agree with your present choice!) - you dont actually need this to be a "gift" - she could presumably repay you in 3 weeks time.
if you think she would be offended by you asking her if she wants your help, she is also likely to be offended by you stepping in unasked.
good for you for thinking of your friend and her child, though!
Thank you. I have been thinking about it and do feel I should mention it. I was thinking a Target gift card. It's a store that I know is around, and mom could give DD the card or go pick something for her DD herself.
And this si exactly what I was going to say to my friend - "Mary Lou is such a special little girl, I just wanted to make sure she had a present to open......"
So my friend is having a very tough financial time at the moment. She'll be okay once her DH gets paid, but it's not for 3 more weeks. Her DD's birthday is in a week and she doesn't have even enough to buy a present. Would it be wrong if I found something to send it to her to give her DD? (and she doesn't even have to say where it came from, she can say it's from mom and dad)
I'd rather not ask her, because A) she would say no thanks don't worry; and B) I'm not sure if she would be offended. I know she's sad that she can't give her child a gift, and I wouldn't wanna make her mad.
Honest opinions - how would you feel as the parent?
ETA - DD is gonna be 10.
You are a good friend. Can you send it anonymously?
Thank you. I have been thinking about it and do feel I should mention it. I was thinking a Target gift card. It's a store that I know is around, and mom could give DD the card or go pick something for her DD herself.
And this si exactly what I was going to say to my friend - "Mary Lou is such a special little girl, I just wanted to make sure she had a present to open......"
This is perfect. I hope you get back your own kindness tenfold.
Why don't you just send the girl a gift from yourself. That way no one is offended, and if she chooses to pretend it's from her- then who cares? If she says it's from you- ok, great. It doesn't matter. Card + Gift Card+ Happy Birthday Child. Love, Friend.
There's no need to bring up anything that could be uncomfortable.
You sound like a good egg! I think the Target card is a great idea, too. My thought is if she is a close enough friend that you are thinking of doing this for her family, she is a close enough friend to talk to you if she feels offended.
Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 09-14-2012 at 12:35 PM..
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