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Old 10-10-2012, 09:27 AM
 
4 posts, read 7,654 times
Reputation: 14

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Those who are One and Done will want to give this a read:

"Is One Child Enough?"

I can totally relate to this:

Quote:
"We're completely and perfectly happy with things as they are. And that's what tripped us up: simple math would dictate that if we had more children, we'd be even happier. But I've come to realize that the calculation is a little more complex. Our happiness comes from a delicate balance of time for our little one, time for each other, time for our careers, and time for ourselves. Changing any part of that equation could very well tip the scale in a negative, rather than positive, direction."
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Old 10-10-2012, 10:32 AM
 
794 posts, read 1,263,839 times
Reputation: 743
For me, having two has meant more time for myself because they play with each other (and on their own) instead of with me. I have gained at least 2 hours a day by having two (including time spent adjudicating disputes).
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Old 10-10-2012, 10:44 AM
 
2,382 posts, read 4,852,976 times
Reputation: 3442
Nice article , thanks for posting.

Although - I'm more than a little jealous of people who get to choose how many they have - my daughter is going to be "it" for us (not by choice).
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Old 10-10-2012, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,541 posts, read 5,412,495 times
Reputation: 3728
I loved this. Thank you so much.
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Old 10-10-2012, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
10,664 posts, read 8,402,250 times
Reputation: 31988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakeneko View Post
people who get to choose how many they have - my daughter is going to be "it" for us (not by choice).

Same here. I wish my daughter had a sibling, but for several reasons it just won't happen. Life chose, not us.
But we are very happy with this little one!
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,538 posts, read 4,980,935 times
Reputation: 2594
I totally agree that this is a very personal decision. I think one child families can be very balanced and I don't think that anyone should have more children just because that's 'what you do.' However, this bothers me:

"And for what it's worth, it's comforting to know we're not alone. The one-child household is the fastest growing family unit in the U.S. (as well as much of western Europe), and now outnumbers those with two children. On my own street, four of the nine families with kids have a single child (and only one has plans for more). So our daughter is unlikely to be the only "only" in her kindergarten class. "

If this really is a trend in the US, it's a dangerous trend. For individual families, it's fine. But even if you have a good long-term care plan, if the majority of people are not multiplying there will be a shortage of workers to take care of all these aging people.
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:09 PM
 
Location: The Other California
4,254 posts, read 5,022,951 times
Reputation: 1535
The article's premise seems to be this: "We have children to make us happy."

Not, "we have children because children are good", or "we have children because we want to impart our happiness to others", or "we have children because they make the world a better place", or even "we have children to create souls for heaven".

Children are to serve our happiness. Does anyone else see the problem here? What happens to children when, for whatever reason, they don't make us happy?
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:12 PM
 
3,963 posts, read 4,953,927 times
Reputation: 3670
Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
The article's premise seems to be this: "We have children to make us happy."

Not, "we have children because children are good", or "we have children because we want to impart our happiness to others", or "we have children because they make the world a better place", or even "we have children to create souls for heaven".

Children are to serve our happiness. Does anyone else see the problem here? What happens to children when, for whatever reason, they don't make us happy?
To be fair, when people explain why they won't children. It usually starts with "I" or "We" and no they don't make the world a better place. If they become adults and decide to good in the world then that is a different story.
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:20 PM
 
Location: California
32,748 posts, read 36,223,159 times
Reputation: 28931
People mostly have children for themselves, don't be silly enough to think there is a higher, noble purpose. We are just hardwired to WANT in most cases.

We debated whether to have more after our firstborn. One would have been fine but then I just WANTED so we had a second. I stopped wanting after that so that's where we stopped.
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:28 PM
 
32,525 posts, read 32,913,955 times
Reputation: 32454
Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
What happens to children when, for whatever reason, they don't make us happy?
Well, going by what's been posted here lately, they get spanked.
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