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I don't think I got carried away at all. I specifically said no one on this thread had suggested or endorsed what my friend did. I specifically said this was IMO. I specifically said they were my beliefs. I have read a lot of studies that support my opinions. Studies can be found to support anything. But then, I personally believe in following common sense and my gut. As I said, I would not want to be left alone to cry, so I don't to my children. Not to my three year old when she's having a tantrum, and not for my eight month old when she cried at night. Again, this is my opinion. That's all ANY of the posts in this thread are, and I think everyone should realize that without someone constantly having to say it.
Yes, that might be so, but I've found that veiled within people's "IMO" is the intimation that their opinion is the right one. Like you stated, studies can be found to support any opinion, including mine.
Yes, that might be so, but I've found that veiled within people's "IMO" is the intimation that their opinion is the right one. Like you stated, studies can be found to support any opinion, including mine.
Certainly, anyone would believe their opinion to be the right one. Else why would they hold to that one idea? Certainly not because they thought it to be wrong.
The OP asked for opinions. I'm sure she expected all varying degrees, which she received. She then decided in her own course of action from those different opinions, and I'm sure she thinks hers is the right one, or again, why would she choose it?
Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion. I don't think I was going to far in expressing mine since it was solicited by the OP, nor are you when you express yours.
I don't think I got carried away at all. I specifically said no one on this thread had suggested or endorsed what my friend did. I specifically said this was IMO. I specifically said they were my beliefs. I have read a lot of studies that support my opinions. Studies can be found to support anything. But then, I personally believe in following common sense and my gut. As I said, I would not want to be left alone to cry, so I don't to my children. Not to my three year old when she's having a tantrum, and not for my eight month old when she cried at night. Again, this is my opinion. That's all ANY of the posts in this thread are, and I think everyone should realize that without someone constantly having to say it.
If you think studies of equal value can be found to support anything you are sadly mistaken.
Not all studies are the same; sample sizes vary, methodology vary, etc.
I understand that they are not limited to babies, but the subject at hand is. Sleep associations, in the case of babies, has quite a bit to do with routine. At least from my experience.
I think you are right. But I want to be clear about what I mean about a "sleep association". You may already grok this, so if I am beating a dead horse, forgive me. It is a term coined by (I think) Richard Ferber who talks about how our sleep cycles developed pre-civilization when sleep meant exposure to risk. We sleep in about 1 hour cycles. Everyone knows this. REM, deep... Within that cycle, we wake partially to "check" our environment. If the conditions under which we fell asleep are different, it raises an evolutionary cautionary alarm. Hey, hey am I alright.
So if the condition under which the child falls asleep included Mom being there, then on these partial wakings, Mom must be there for any child whose association becomes Mom. For some people this is fine. They have no problem sleeping when the baby sleeps. And for some children, even though they sleep with Mom, their safety feeling might come from a blanket or whatever. Great. But for some of us, being Mom the safety blanket that needed to be present at every partial waking was untenable. *I personally* had no qualms about "sleep training" (thought I will caution that many people on this board use this term differently). But my sole point in this thread was
- Sleep associations happen. If you co-sleep YOU can be come said association.
- Some people are firmly against sleep training. So IF you co-sleep AND you are against sleep training, you may be co-sleeping for a while.
No -- not my opinion - throughout thousands of years humans and other mammals sleep with their offspring. It's really only recently that someone decided that babies need to be left alone in a dark room, screaming until they fall asleep or that parents should invest all kinds of time in "training" small babies.
Well.....someone wrote a book obviously, came up with the idea that newborns must be trained.
I know everyone is trying to assure you that everything is alright. And it is. No one is going to die if you sleep with your child. And everything above is true. But.
The fact of the matter remains that people, children included, can and do develop sleep associations that prevent them from falling asleep under other conditions. That means with every partial waking, which we all do, that being in or quickly regaining that condition is necessary to drift back to sleep or full waking will result. Full waking will then take soothing down then the resumption of the needed condition.
It is simplistic and sweet to say oh dear don't worry about it and sleep with your baby. But if you are not prepared to deal with the result if your baby is one of the ones for whom this kind of association develops, and it is not at all uncommon, then you will find your self considerably more exhausted in the months and years to come. You will be exhausted as will your baby.
Just something to think about.
I was never exhausted with my kids, not even twins. Why would you insist that a co-sleep family is going to be exhausted? Exhausted from what? Not from getting up with crying infants all night.
Since you didn't co-sleep, you never saw it from that side -- parents go to bed, infant goes to bed, even if infant doesn't fall asleep immediately, parents can sleep while infant breast feeds, baby feels safe and loved and associates bed time with cuddling, time with parents. Child never wakes up terrified in the middle of the night, sleep associations aren't about nightmares or loneliness and fear.
It's also called nighttime parenting. A child needs a certain amount of cuddle time and nighttime can squeeze some of this time in.
No -- not my opinion - throughout thousands of years humans and other mammals sleep with their offspring. It's really only recently that someone decided that babies need to be left alone in a dark room, screaming until they fall asleep or that parents should invest all kinds of time in "training" small babies.
Well.....someone wrote a book obviously, came up with the idea that newborns must be trained.
No, bad parenting isn't a recent development. I'm sure there were always parents who left their screaming babies alone in dark and well lit rooms alike. Just as there are 'bad parent' animals that eat their young.
And not every baby sleeps well in bed with a parent. And it certainly does NOT guarantee that a child will never have nightmares or night terrors.
No -- not my opinion - throughout thousands of years humans and other mammals sleep with their offspring. It's really only recently that someone decided that babies need to be left alone in a dark room, screaming until they fall asleep or that parents should invest all kinds of time in "training" small babies.
Intentionally incorrect in order to... do what, exactly?
I was never exhausted with my kids, not even twins. Why would you insist that a co-sleep family is going to be exhausted?.
I never insisted that. God, you people. Learn to freaking read. I gave the OP something to think about based on my experience. I could not care less if people co sleep. If it worked for you, rock on.
If you think studies of equal value can be found to support anything you are sadly mistaken.
Not all studies are the same; sample sizes vary, methodology vary, etc.
No, I'm not mistaken. There are studies that can be found for both sleep training and against sleep training. Your interpretation of the studies is open for debate and whether you agree with their findings.
Studies can indeed be done and found for anything. Just because they vary in sample size or methodology or even aren't well done doesn't mean the studies don't exist.
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