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Old 10-23-2012, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Clifton, NJ
171 posts, read 384,012 times
Reputation: 213

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I've lived in my own apartment for a little more than a year now, yet whenever I go to see my parents, they're always like "it's so nice to have you home/when are you coming home next/yes, but this is your home etc etc" and honestly, it's grating as hell. I work hard to pay my own rent and utilities and to have them keep referring to their house, where I don't live, kinda gets to me because it seems like they don't respect that I worked, saved, planned and got my own place (I'm 22 and a college graduate, isn't this what you're supposed to do at this stage?)

Maybe I'm overreacting. I just had to vent and wondered if other parents are like this.
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Aiken, South Carolina, US of A
1,793 posts, read 4,295,639 times
Reputation: 3651
DarkWolf,
Home is where your family is.
That is what they are saying, you are their heart.
They are talking about a building, they are letting you know
when you are with them,
you are home.
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
23,515 posts, read 25,117,863 times
Reputation: 40235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterfly4u View Post
DarkWolf,
Home is where your family is.
That is what they are saying, you are their heart.
They are talking about a building, they are letting you know
when you are with them,
you are home.


I can't imagine that small thing is worthy of being "grating as hell". Really? Take a breath. I'm guessing your parents fed, housed an otherwise supported you for at least 20 years. And now you're annoyed because you've been self supporting for a few months and you are irritated that they still speak of the home they provided for you as "home". Lighten up. If that's the only gripe you have in life you are truly blessed.
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Old 10-23-2012, 07:53 PM
 
13,752 posts, read 22,642,637 times
Reputation: 38417
The house I grew up in was always "home". Once my parents sold it and moved south, their new house was "their home", not mine. Neither I nor they ever referred to it as "home".

I do still ask my kids if they are coming home for holidays and such. They don't seem to be bothered by it.
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
23,515 posts, read 25,117,863 times
Reputation: 40235
Yep. My college graduate, self supporting 22 y.o. was here last weekend. Her post on Facebook? "Good to be home".
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:31 PM
 
32,525 posts, read 32,920,658 times
Reputation: 32454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkwolf131 View Post
I've lived in my own apartment for a little more than a year now, yet whenever I go to see my parents, they're always like "it's so nice to have you home/when are you coming home next/yes, but this is your home etc etc" and honestly, it's grating as hell. I work hard to pay my own rent and utilities and to have them keep referring to their house, where I don't live, kinda gets to me because it seems like they don't respect that I worked, saved, planned and got my own place (I'm 22 and a college graduate, isn't this what you're supposed to do at this stage?)
Gracious! You have two parents who love you and actually refer to the house they live in as a home. Worse... they want to see you. Will the torture never end? So which one drinks up the rent? Which one mainlined heroin when you were a kid? Which one gambled away the house? Which one beats the other? Which one hates you the most? How long were you in foster care when you were a kid?

**knowing look and a Jethro Gibbs whack up the back side a yo head**


Got it yet?
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,520,482 times
Reputation: 2408
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkwolf131 View Post
I've lived in my own apartment for a little more than a year now, yet whenever I go to see my parents, they're always like "it's so nice to have you home/when are you coming home next/yes, but this is your home etc etc" and honestly, it's grating as hell. I work hard to pay my own rent and utilities and to have them keep referring to their house, where I don't live, kinda gets to me because it seems like they don't respect that I worked, saved, planned and got my own place (I'm 22 and a college graduate, isn't this what you're supposed to do at this stage?)

Maybe I'm overreacting. I just had to vent and wondered if other parents are like this.
I wouldn't over think it. You're just out on your own, working hard, are establishing yourself, of course you want that recognized. I think parents just want their kids to know there is a soft place to fall if ever it is needed, even if they know it won't be, and that their kids are still part of the family no matter where they are or how independently they live. It's an adjustment for them, too. I've been out of their house and in my own home for over 15 years and my parents and I still occasionally refer to their house as "home."

Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 10-23-2012 at 08:53 PM..
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:46 PM
 
20 posts, read 51,553 times
Reputation: 15
My daughter moved out 4 years ago and she still calls this her "home". We still have her room, thought I did give it a good cleaning and we use it as a guest room but it's HER room.

Maybe you could have two "homes"; the one your parents are so willing to have you at and the one you earn yourself. I can understand what it's like to work hard and want the recognition for what you do, and think you deserve it. You're parents also deserve some respect and if it warms their heart to call their house your home what harm does it really cause. Be thankful for what you have - this problem is nothing.
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Old 10-23-2012, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 4,165,762 times
Reputation: 1912
I am in my mid-forties, lived away from home for almost 20 yrs now... I still call it home....
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Old 10-23-2012, 10:07 PM
 
16,482 posts, read 22,393,392 times
Reputation: 16272
OP, your parents don't mean anything bad by saying that. I have a grown son that has lived on his own for 6 years but I will sometimes say something about about "home" to him. A lot of it is just habit. Keep in mind, no matter how old you get, you will always be their child, and where they live will always feel like home. I don't at all think they mean anything demeaning about it.
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