Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Talking to a lawyer is the only real advice that anyone can give. The situation is rather complicated and interstate custody issues are very complex.
What I will say is that IF you have the ability to move BEFORE either of you begins to establish formal court custody/support proceedings, you will have the benefit of dictating most of the process based on the laws of the state that you take residence in. He would be virtually powerless to go after you unless he wanted to follow you to Texas which sounds like something he most likely wouldn't do. Massachusetts case law shows that an unwed mother is technically a childs "only parent" in the eyes of the law until formal paternity and orders are established by the court. As of right now, in the eyes of Massachusetts you are the childs only parent and are free to move wherever you please. This is the applicable case precedent from Massachusetts:
Once you begin legal proceedings it falls under the Uniform Child Custody and Jurisdiction Act. This Act gives priority to the "home state" where the proceedings began and original orders were issued. This means that once you begin proceedings in Massachusetts those courts will have superiority over others in determining custody issues. If you were to move after beginning proceedings the court could order you/the child back to Massachusetts and you could not move without proving it was in the childs best interests to the courts of Massachusetts. This Act is recognized as law in all 50 states and US territories, so any orders established in Massachusetts would be enforced by the Texas legal system.
Take the above advice with a grain of salt, I'm not an attorney and I don't have all the facts. My personal opinion is, if there are no existing or pending court orders and you have the chance to move, do it now.
The last thing that I will say is that being a father doesn't mean you had sex with the childs mother. It means growing up and taking responsbility for the care and well being of your child. This "man" that you are with has had over a year to make progress on becoming a father and he has not done it. If movies, alcohol and video games are more important to him then caring for his child, you don't owe him anything. A child is better off having no father and living in a safe and caring environment with their mother and grandmother then they are having a "father" like this guy.
no one told this OP "you should have thought about that before you decided to breed with him" smh you guys just hate me for no reason. This proves it.
I'm sure people were thinking that the OP should have thought twice about getting pregnant with this guy, but no one said it. Maybe people feel more comfortable with you, because you have posted here before. FWIW, I don't think people hate you, even though some harsh things were written. Also, in our society, people still have problems with white women being with black men. Not all feel this way, but there are certainly many who do. But I'm sure you have already had to deal with that.
Also, want to add that I have only judged you a couple of times-when we argued about "popping" a kid in the mouth, and I didn't think it was appropriate for you to have that tattooed leg picture on your profile.
no one told this OP "you should have thought about that before you decided to breed with him" smh you guys just hate me for no reason. This proves it.
I don't think anyone here "hates" you. I don't think anyone likes reading the "bad dad" threads on here, I think people get fustrated when the "bad dad" is a multiple offender. And the mother jumps into a couple troubling relationships before the child is even a year old. By your own admission - you continue to be attracted to bad boys and are mimicing the unstable relationships that you saw your mother in as a child.
Family law is a dirty business..to bad you are considering involvement with lawyers and judges that are the lowest of the low. Why would you involve yourself with a person that was obviously a drunkard to begin with? Did you not see that the guy loved alcohol more than he loved you? As for suing him for support- If you consider alcohol over use as a disease..what do you expect to get out of this poor sick person anyway? If you drag his sorry ass through the courts he will drink even more and work even less. As for the person who commented on how many periods I use at the end of the sentence- well here goes.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ............................................ It is called a pause.
People love to get involved in these domestic matters. There are lots of systems types who will enjoy helping a poor abused woman. Lots of experts and professionals that are more than willing to hate this loser. Frankly...don't expect anything out of this drunken father. He has nothing to give materially- unless of course he is from a rich family and in essence you can sue them.
Maybe this poor drunk has discovered that he had a baby with someone who does not love him- now that would be depressing. I doubt very much if there ever was love there. Sounds like someone made a mistake and mistook pleasure and sex for love- now the poor kid has to pay the price for this indiscretion.
Family law is a dirty business..to bad you are considering involvement with lawyers and judges that are the lowest of the low. Why would you involve yourself with a person that was obviously a drunkard to begin with? Did you not see that the guy loved alcohol more than he loved you? As for suing him for support- If you consider alcohol over use as a disease..what do you expect to get out of this poor sick person anyway? If you drag his sorry ass through the courts he will drink even more and work even less. As for the person who commented on how many periods I use at the end of the sentence- well here goes.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ............................................ It is called a pause.
People love to get involved in these domestic matters. There are lots of systems types who will enjoy helping a poor abused woman. Lots of experts and professionals that are more than willing to hate this loser. Frankly...don't expect anything out of this drunken father. He has nothing to give materially- unless of course he is from a rich family and in essence you can sue them.
Maybe this poor drunk has discovered that he had a baby with someone who does not love him- now that would be depressing. I doubt very much if there ever was love there. Sounds like someone made a mistake and mistook pleasure and sex for love- now the poor kid has to pay the price for this indiscretion.
Well, there you go OhioChic - someone has brought up the whole "you should have thought of that before breeding" - Happy?
First of all, he is an alcoholic. He's been through detox twice, done a 30 day treatment program, and can not control his alcohol. He went right back to his old ways immediately after treatment. He is also a mean, abusive drunk. So please don't question my labeling him an alcoholic or speaking about the recovery process. Also, he doesn't like AA and doesn't want outside help for his problem.
I would like my son to have a relationship with his dad but I have to put his best interests first. His life will be better if we move. If it's possible to arrange visitation so his dad can be in his life I'm all for it. But his wellbeing comes first.
Yet another female "victim". You picked him, WOMEN pick fathers of their children yet they don't accept any responsibility for their actions, it's all males fault. It happens frequently with younger women seeking physically dominant males and failing to realize that in the "civilized" world physical dominance frequently doesn't lead to financial security and higher social status (things that older women ultimately crave).
You saw him as he was and you liked what you saw enough to mother a child with him. Don't even start about him etc. fooling and manipulating you. I don't buy that for a second. If you will not stop blaming the guy for everything and if you will not start looking closely at the underlying reasons for your decisions, I see you mothering a child with a Texan deadbeat too.
As far as I understand, he doesn't pay child support, and he isn't really attached to a child. Then just pick your stuff and run for Texas (if you don't want child support etc.). If he's worthless alcoholic as you claim, he would never master enough of energy and $ to drag you through the courts etc.. If he's not what you claim he is, you are robbing kid of his father, which you are prepared to do anyway, you just want to do it safe.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
