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the main thing I wonder is If I should take my other daughter who is 17, to visit her, but I am not sure I want her to be in a prison environment. I also hear it is a hassle to get in and you don't even get much time to even speak. Also seeing her sister in jail and having her sister and talk about her situation may also be a bad influence or image and cause my younger daughter to want to sympathize with her sister and see her as in the "Right". Not visiting may also allow her to forget about this whole year much more easily. Also visiting might make my younger one miss her more and maybe possibly want to join her there in some weird way. If I do take her what should I say beforehand?
the main thing I wonder is If I should take my other daughter who is 17, to visit her, but I am not sure I want her to be in a prison environment. I also hear it is a hassle to get in and you don't even get much time to even speak. Also seeing her sister in jail and having her sister and talk about her situation may also be a bad influence or image and cause my younger daughter to want to sympathize with her sister and see her as in the "Right". Not visiting may also allow her to forget about this whole year much more easily. Also visiting might make my younger one miss her more and maybe possibly want to join her there in some weird way. If I do take her what should I say beforehand?
Nobody is going to forget about this year, so you can give up that hope.
Does your 17 yr old want to visit? If so, then I would absolutely allow it. You aren't giving your daughter much credit here. Certainly she may sympathize with her sister, but that just indicates she cares about her. I gather from what you have written that you haven't visited yet either. Why not?
the main thing I wonder is If I should take my other daughter who is 17, to visit her, but I am not sure I want her to be in a prison environment. I also hear it is a hassle to get in and you don't even get much time to even speak. Also seeing her sister in jail and having her sister and talk about her situation may also be a bad influence or image and cause my younger daughter to want to sympathize with her sister and see her as in the "Right". Not visiting may also allow her to forget about this whole year much more easily. Also visiting might make my younger one miss her more and maybe possibly want to join her there in some weird way. If I do take her what should I say beforehand?
If your 17 year old wants to see her and your daughter who is in jail wants to see her sister, the answer is, "yes". Take her there to see her. And while you're at it, why don't YOU visit your daughter! Yes, she did something wrong and she is paying for it. You have NO idea what "little" things like visits can do for a person. It can make a big difference in how they act while in jail and how they act when they get out.
If your 17 year old wants to see her and your daughter who is in jail wants to see her sister, the answer is, "yes". Take her there to see her. And while you're at it, why don't YOU visit your daughter! Yes, she did something wrong and she is paying for it. You have NO idea what "little" things like visits can do for a person. It can make a big difference in how they act while in jail and how they act when they get out.
Visit.
yep. visit and take 17 year old if she thinks she is up to it.
the main thing I wonder is If I should take my other daughter who is 17, to visit her, but I am not sure I want her to be in a prison environment. I also hear it is a hassle to get in and you don't even get much time to even speak. Also seeing her sister in jail and having her sister and talk about her situation may also be a bad influence or image and cause my younger daughter to want to sympathize with her sister and see her as in the "Right". Not visiting may also allow her to forget about this whole year much more easily. Also visiting might make my younger one miss her more and maybe possibly want to join her there in some weird way. If I do take her what should I say beforehand?
I find it highly unlikely that your other daughter will want to join her sister in jail because she sees her there. It's more likely to be the opposite. If anything I would think the experience would make your younger daughter even more determined to never go to prison. She may sympathize with her sister but that that would make her think that her sister is in the right sounds very improbable. Seeing someone in prison clothes, behind locked doors with uniformed guards all around is not really something that would make someone view the situation as positive or something that is right. I've visited people in jail and I just can't see how the experience could possibly have a bad influence on someone.
It can be a bit of a hassle to get in, depending on where she is. How long you can visit also depends on the jail/prison. But that shouldn't really matter when it comes to bringing your 17-year old or not. The DOC's website should have info about visitation details.
If your younger daughter wants to visit I definitely think you should take her for the sake of both your daughters. Are they close? If so, having your younger daughter see her sister and see where she's at may make the situation easier for her to cope with. I'm sure your older daughter would also be happy to see her sister and just that one visit is something that could lift her spirits for weeks. As her parent I would think that would be important to you. The state is already punishing your daughter for her crime, severely. You don't have to punish her too. If you care about her future it's imperative that you are there for her now and when she gets out. Being in prison is very tough and the days are very, very long. Having your family not coming to visit and showing that they care makes it so much worse. Studies show that convicts who have family support during and after incarceration do much better in regards to rehabilitation. If you care visit often and be supportive. She's locked up 24/7 and humiliated on a regular basis. How much more does she have to be punished?
I grew up with a brother who was in and out of prison (he is nine years older than me). Yes, my mother took me to see him, even when I was a pre-teen. It is a difficult, heart-wrenching experience to see someone you love in that sort of environment, but still worth it.
No, it did NOT make me "sympathize" or any of that nonsense. In fact, it made me very aware of how to conduct myself to avoid ending up in any sort of similar situation. His periods of incarceration affected my sons that way also; knowing that their Uncle had lost so many years of his life that way, they have both been keenly aware of why it is necessary to stay on the right side of the law.
What the visits did do, for me and my brother both, is well worth the effort. It allowed us to remain close, it allowed him to have hope and know that someone on the outside loves him. We love him dearly, and that is not the same as condoning what he has done or excusing it. We keep in touch and help out when we can with a bit of money on his account (not enough to allow him to get "in trouble"), write frequent letters, send photos, etc. To let him know he will always be a part of our family even though he has caused himself to be separated from us, is very important.
Go see your child and allow your other daughter to go as well. Family is still family even when someone falls from grace.
my 22 year old daughter is going to prison for one year for fraud related charges. I told her I can't really feel any sympathy for her because she committed the crime and this is the punishment she was given. I never taught her to participate in illegal activities,And maybe it will be a good learning experience for her and toughen her up. Is this too harsh? Am I a bad person for saying this?
is there anything else I should tell her before she goes?
I never taught my children that participating in illegal activities was acceptable in any way and she never showed this kind of behavior before. Sorry, if I sound defensive but she got into this all by herself, not due to any influence from her parents
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