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Not true at all. All of us are able to earn love from those that are close to us on a daily basis. By behaving rationally, morally, and lovingly.
If and when one stops behaving in that fashion, he is no longer worthy of love, no longer deserves it, and should no longer expect it.
Love is MOST DEFINITELY approval.
The idea that you can be an evil person, but receive "unconditional" love from someone else (a parent, friend, etc.) is ludicrous. If you are evil you should NOT be loved at all. You are not of value. In fact, you are a negative value, and you should be shunned, if not outright hated.
Hate is justified and correct in the appropriate circumstances. And so is love. Both represent a measurement of value, or lack thereof.
Total bull****. This view of love is disturbing and emotionally stunted. I'm very sorry you feel this way, but you are extremely wrong.
she got a great education, a degree, and a good job so far, now it is all gone to waste.
there were other people involved, but she definitely knew what she was doing and she totally willingly participated in it. So frustrating.
For now. There are plenty of people out there that are willing to give second chances. Please do not harp on this point with your daughter. She needs positive vibes and thoughts, encouragement and a plan of action. Do NOT continue to punish her. The state is doing that for you.
Of course it is a frustrating situation. But what good is it going to do to keep harping on what has already happened? It is done. What are you going to do now?
The instinct to love and protect usually ends up with the production of a human being with some value as an adult. And that is a good thing of course. But if despite your efforts, your kid ends up as a sociopathic murderer or rapist or child molester, then the "unconditional" love should go right the hell out the window.
I mean we see the folly of Jerry Sandusky's evil wife defending the SOB, and THAT is truly the definition of unconditional love. And we can see the malevolent evil surrounding that family.
Perhaps if someone had opened their eyes and behaved RATIONALLY and dumped the bastard when what he was doing was discovered, the result would have been different.
Unconditional love of someone who doesn't deserve any love usually leads to horror and mayhem of one sort or another.
Good point -- all that unconditional love didn't end up doing him any good.
Look at some of the mass murderers or serial rapists, at some point it would be difficult for a normal parent to go on loving them just because they are related. Or the Melendez brothers who murdered their parents to get their money, maybe sometimes a line gets crossed.
With the OP, I really don't think it's a matter of love, unconditional love shouldn't mean you take your child's side when he or she is clearly wrong.
I personally don't view love as some blind acceptance or limitless tolerance but, it's understandable that the meaning is often confused by us human folk.........
I don't think one should be loved unconditionally. Love should be earned. In fact, the idea of unconditional love is inherently evil.
Respect may be earned, but the love I dish out is definitely free and no conditions need be met...I think it is very evil to have conditions that must be met before you can love someone, and I feel that a love that must be earned is not really "love" at all.
Respect may be earned, but the love I dish out is definitely free and no conditions need be met...I think it is very evil to have conditions that must be met before you can love someone, and I feel that a love that must be earned is not really "love" at all.
You are 100% wrong. Love that is given without conditions and expectations does not exist - for you or anyone else, now or ever. And guess what. It shouldn't be, isn't, and can't be. You've been spoon fed too many "love platitudes", and are more than ready to regurgitate them, without reason or analysis. Unconditional love is an evil concept - meaning it leads to destructive and bad consequences that diminish life, morality, and proper conduct.
An evil person - one who acts against life and against virtue and against the rights of others, deserves no love, only hate and contempt.
Your view of love is the typical mystical pablum, and is wrong, and always has been. Try to think for yourself and forget the nonsense you've probably been forced to ingest. You will come to a far different conclusion that reflects reality, and not fear.
my 22 year old daughter is going to prison for one year for fraud related charges. I told her I can't really feel any sympathy for her because she committed the crime and this is the punishment she was given. I never taught her to participate in illegal activities,And maybe it will be a good learning experience for her and toughen her up. Is this too harsh? Am I a bad person for saying this?
is there anything else I should tell her before she goes?
Firstly big business and government and so called respectable people commit fraud on a daily basis. This is the way the world works. Big shots who are major players almost never go to jail. Fraud it to gain something of value through deception. In other words lying for profit- She did not commit a violent crime...she stole out of the cookie jar...The system is one thing...No matter what you remain loyal to family the system comes second. Tell her you love her and you will be waiting for her - that you are there for her no matter what.
The world is full of deception...no matter what...You stand by your daughter...do not suck up to a system that does not love you...the people that sentenced your daughter and those that she stole from...don't give a damn if you live or die.....family first!
Firstly big business and government and so called respectable people commit fraud on a daily basis. This is the way the world works. Big shots who are major players almost never go to jail. Fraud it to gain something of value through deception. In other words lying for profit- She did not commit a violent crime...she stole out of the cookie jar...The system is one thing...No matter what you remain loyal to family the system comes second. Tell her you love her and you will be waiting for her - that you are there for her no matter what.
The world is full of deception...no matter what...You stand by your daughter...do not suck up to a system that does not love you...the people that sentenced your daughter and those that she stole from...don't give a damn if you live or die.....family first!
This is wrong. The vast majority of big business operates rationally and morally and simply seek to provide goods and services and make money. And this includes Wall Street, Main Street, and every street. There are always a few criminals who take advantage, and we should arrest them or sue them as conditions warrant.
However, BIG BUSINESS makes the world go round and is a GOOD FORCE in life.
You are 100% wrong. Love that is given without conditions and expectations does not exist - for you or anyone else, now or ever. And guess what. It shouldn't be, isn't, and can't be. You've been spoon fed too many "love platitudes", and are more than ready to regurgitate them, without reason or analysis. Unconditional love is an evil concept - meaning it leads to destructive and bad consequences that diminish life, morality, and proper conduct.
An evil person - one who acts against life and against virtue and against the rights of others, deserves no love, only hate and contempt.
Your view of love is the typical mystical pablum, and is wrong, and always has been. Try to think for yourself and forget the nonsense you've probably been forced to ingest. You will come to a far different conclusion that reflects reality, and not fear.
How can you say unconditional love "does not exist", and "can't be", and then go on to say that the "concept" (general idea or notion) leads to "destructive and bad consequences"?..How can we possibly know that a concept will diminish life, morality, and proper conduct?...unless that "concept" becomes reality, something you've said "can't be".....Your view of love is very sad, something you've no doubt learned from fear...fear that if you didn't do right by the very ones whose love you would seek, you would not get that love....I have not got that fear Marc Paolella, and my world is all about reality.
How can you say unconditional love "does not exist", and "can't be", and then go on to say that the "concept" (general idea or notion) leads to "destructive and bad consequences"?..How can we possibly know that a concept will diminish life, morality, and proper conduct?...unless that "concept" becomes reality, something you've said "can't be".....Your view of love is very sad, something you've no doubt learned from fear...fear that if you didn't do right by the very ones whose love you would seek, you would not get that love....I have not got that fear Marc Paolella, and my world is all about reality.
I think unconditional love is wrong -- would you have all this sympathy and love if your child or family member became a Hitler or a follower of Nazis? Would you side with a son who became a sadistic rapist and killer who tormented his victims and enjoyed seeing their pain?
That's what's wrong with so many criminals, their parents coddled them and took their side no matter what, my son or daughter can do no wrong, everyone just picks on them. Poor little innocent baby.
A daughter going to prison for committing fraud still might get some sympathy --- depending on her attitude, but I really don't understand how parents could have sympathy for every kind of thug who gets in trouble -- but I know there are parents who do, their dear son beats his wife and of course it's her fault.
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