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Most kids who get bullied, get bullied because they're scared to fight back. If you fight a bully(even if you lose), most likely they'll never bother you again. Why? Because now they know you're not afraid to stand your ground. So that takes the fun out of bullying you.
I agree with this completely.
As for your son and hitting a girl, he should remove himself from the situation, get as far away as possible. That should be the first response of any man. He also told an authority figure. But since she did it again and again, she is a bully. There is no problem with decking her.
At that age the sex of the participants is irrelevant. I'd give a daughter permission to bop on the nose any 4-year old playground bully. Equal rights. At that age the boys should also have the right to let the bully know it stops now.
I wanted to make this thread last week, got caught up in the hurricane hoopla.
Really, hear me out.
I have a 4yr old boy. We all know how boys can get. And I like many other parents, tell me son to keep his hands to himself. BUT,if someone hit you, then hit them back.
Except for girls. Yea it sexist, but that's how it is in this society. I tell him if a girl bothers you, or hits you, tell the teacher. You never hit a girl.
This is the situation though. For about 2 weeks, my son tells me a girl in his class is pinching him. I told him to tell the teacher the next day. Apparently he told the teacher, but the girl is still pinching him. So when I dropped him to school, I told the teacher about it. She said she'll speak to the little girl and her mother.
Fast forward a few days, I pick up my son. He has SCRATCHES on his face. At this point, the mama bear comes out of me. OH NO!!! Im LIVID. I send my son to school with a beautful face, I expect him to come home with one. At this point, the "she's a girl" flew out the window. I told him if she touches him again to hit her back.
Long story short, the little girl has a busted lip courtesy of my son. The teacher called me upset that my son hit a girl. Excuse Me? How many times have I told you that this child is bothering my son? Yes I teach my son not to hit girls. I also teach him that he WiLL defend himself against ANYBODY,if he has too.
Was I wrong?
Did you give your son bad advice? Yes, in this case you did.
Now I won't quarrel that protecting yourself sometime can get down and dirty but kids the age of your son , and you, have a better way. You told the teacher, she failed to correct the problem now take it to her boss then the school board if that fails finally sue the school for not protecting your son against a female bully. Doing this in these steps and this manner will protect you and your family from legal actions against YOU!! Play it any other way and you'd better get ready for mega school/legal troubles. I kid you not!!!!
I am not understanding the school's non-response to the original hittings.
Once a smallish 1-grade child (a girl) pulled my 3rd-grade daughter's hair as my daughter was getting off the school bus. That little girl had punched a few times other kids on the bus.
(The girl has trouble keeping her hands to herself, probably a hyperactivity disorder. She does that in the classroom, as well, which is why she often is pulled out and often talks to the principal).
The school, as a result, created bus behavior rules (with clear infraction punishment system: one warning, two warnings, banishment from the bus) that parents had to sign. The school had all grades go through mock bus situations in turn, with chairs set up in the gym. The school repeated the rules morning and before dismissal. The school had mock sessions once again after a while.
I would be livid with the school, with their non-response to the girl's apparent problem to keep her hands to herself (I think it's too early to call her a bully, it's probably some behavioral problem that her parents have trouble at home with, as well).
Did you give your son bad advice? Yes, in this case you did.
Now I won't quarrel that protecting yourself sometime can get down and dirty but kids the age of your son , and you, have a better way. You told the teacher, she failed to correct the problem now take it to her boss then the school board if that fails finally sue the school for not protecting your son against a female bully. Doing this in these steps and this manner will protect you and your family from legal actions against YOU!! Play it any other way and you'd better get ready for mega school/legal troubles. I kid you not!!!!
Ugh, I'm not going to go all out over pinching. And they are 4. Most kids are unruly at the age. My son included. A nice little slap back is sufficient enough IMO.
I think it's totally sexist. If I was hitting someone of any gender I would expect to get hit back.
I don't think violence is the answer either but if someone is continuously causing you physical harm then pop their ass back, I agree with trying to work it out first but sometimes you just have to give them a good pop back and it sends the message that you won't tolerate their crap and then they move onto someone weak.
As for your son and hitting a girl, he should remove himself from the situation, get as far away as possible. That should be the first response of any man. He also told an authority figure. But since she did it again and again, she is a bully. There is no problem with decking her.
A 4 year old is not a man. I know a 4 year old little boy, at that age they can't grasp the concept of being a "man" and take the higher road.
Two little four year olds? Absolutely, hit back, and make sure it's hard enough to teach her a lesson. You and your son went though all the correct motions, telling the teacher, telling the kid, etc. Hitting should be a last resort, but he has every right to defend himself, and no one has the right to put their hands on him, male or female.
Now if he were 6'3" hitting a 5'4" woman like that, it's different. Only because he is going to do her a lot of damage by hitting her. But hopefully a 5'4" woman would know better than to start something with someone twice her size. Two four year old children are on equal ground, and all kids need to know what could happen when they pick on other kids.
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I send my son to school with a beautful face, I expect him to come home with one. At this point, the "she's a girl" flew out the window. I told him if she touches him again to hit her back.
