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My intent was not to focus on SAHMs, high-income single parents, or even dual income families. And I am not speaking about statistics. I speak only from what I see with people I actually know, just as you are.
I also stated that, as the primary breadwinner, my husband and I decided that we cannot afford children without assistance - and that is why we chose not to have them.
Some people can swing it, we cannot. And I must reiterate that it is not a matter of giving up lattes, fancy cars, and summer vacations. I don't do any of those things. For us, it is a matter of surviving after retirement. And we are talking a very meager existance at that.
I am merely answering the question of why some people say, "they can't afford children."
Even if you preferred lattes, fancy cars and summer vacations to having children it would still be your business. If someone decides they can't afford children, for whatever reason, why should anyone else give a flip?
We've discussed that we don't think we can afford more than one and we earn pretty well. I think it comes down to being able to afford how we want to raise our children. This doesn't include expensive vacations (we prefer camping) or expensive cars. Rather schooling and opportunity. And it really does depend on where you live. The Montessori daycare/preschool I was checking out is ~2k/mo. That's pretty expensive. That's just how it goes in places like Boston-metro.
Again, why do people keep sheepishly explaining that they don't mean giving up luxuries when they say they can't afford kids? If someone would rather spend their income on vacations and luxury cars there's nothing wrong with making that choice, as long as you don't already have a kid that's doing without.
Not targeting you in particular, Braunwyn, but I people keep saying this.
It's like the argument that your selfish if you don't have kids. How can you be selfish if you indulge yourself but not at anyone else's expense?
Even if you preferred lattes, fancy cars and summer vacations to having children it would still be your business. If someone decides they can't afford children, for whatever reason, why should anyone else give a flip?
True. The response in the head would be, "I can't or won't make the sacrifices necessary to raise a child the way I would like." Of course, I agree that the real answer offered is either, "can't afford them," or, "none of your business."
Again, why do people keep sheepishly explaining that they don't mean giving up luxuries when they say they can't afford kids? If someone would rather spend their income on vacations and luxury cars there's nothing wrong with making that choice, as long as you don't already have a kid that's doing without.
Not targeting you in particular, Braunwyn, but I people keep saying this.
It's like the argument that your selfish if you don't have kids. How can you be selfish if you indulge yourself but not at anyone else's expense?
You're right. People do judge so that comes up, but it's also that folk are just plain wrong with their assumptions.
Most American's cannot afford to have children. . . .
Which is why free public schools paid for with tax dollars exist. The average cost of one child in a classroom K-12 in the US is $14,800 per year depending on the county and/or state. In some areas it is as high as $18,000 a year. I love when someone with kids says that they pay "property taxes" and that funds public schools. Yeah right, so you are paying between $2,000 -$4,000 a year for a house you own and you think that means you should get $30,000 of free education for the end result of your orgasms for two children. Whatever.
The Earned Income Tax Credit which is more with dependents (children) is a direct subsidy to people that have children and basically cannot afford them.
Along with:
Food stamps
Housing assistance
Daycare vouchers paid for by the state
Additional exemptions on taxes
Medicaid (for children that have parents that cannot afford medical insurance for them)
All of the unpaid medical bills for child births: the state of Arizona alone released a report stating that
62% of all child births in hospitals in that state are not paid for and the parent(s) did not have medical insurance.
The Pell Grants, financial aid and government student loans that the children eventually use to go to college because mommy and daddy couldn't afford to save money for them to go - despite have 18 years to save the money, which is basically almost two decades. Like WTF. . .
And the list goes on. . . .
Most Americans cannot afford to have children. That is an undeniable fact. And if all of the above listed direct subsidies to people that have orgasms and then cannot pay for the end result of their sexual activity were taken away: there would be riots in the streets within a few days.
CLAP CLAP CLAP!!! Again, I don't mind subsidizing other people's children, but I do get annoyed when parents aren't grateful.
I disagree. You don't need two incomes, and there are millions of SAHMs and single mothers that prove this. It is all about living within your means, and most Americans simply don't know how to distinguish their wants from their needs.
There are "millions" getting transfer payments from the government, you mean. Not self-sufficient and financially solvent ones. And I also call Boolsheet in the not being able to distinguish wants from needs.
The dollar figure that was being tossed around in the late '80s was: The average American family of 4, living in an average-cost USA city needs a gross income of $58,000 per year in order to have any disposable income. If you just applied typical inflation factors to that figure, by 2005 or so it was probably easily $80,000 to $100,000 per year. It might be less than that after the recession drove down the costs of housing. So, yes, if you are not going to be eligible for gov't assistance, I can see where people who want to be financially solvent and self-sufficient say "I can't afford kids." And the way jobs and employers are disappearing, and people get their livelihood cut out from under them, I think they are smarter to limit themselves to just one child. Or none.
The single mom welfares, and the teen mom welfares who use their parents as additional paychecks and unpaid babysitters are only making it because other people are paying their way and/or doing all or part of the carpwork of raising the kid(s). The very wealthy can afford by SAHM, too. And the Catholics where I live, it's a matter of pride to have a non-working mama who "doesn't have to work," who raises kids and does only unpaid volunteer work. The Protestants wont stand for it; they prefer a woman who earns an income. ;-)
In my peer group, that got split up when a corporation was bought and dissolved by another, there are far more none-to-one-and done dual-income couples, who, frankly, don't want tied down by too many patenting chores.
Can't afford may mean they just cannot afford them at this very moment. It's not about being high maintenance, I mean in this crappy economy people can barely afford to be low maintenance. Sometimes it's not about being able to afford or not, sometimes it's just not the best time for a couple to have them.
It is good when people say "I can't afford children"; or "I won't have children"; or "I don't want children"...or any variation on the theme. Instead of lamenting the difference between their views and your views...just have yours, enjoy, be happy and thank them for the piece of land, mouthful of air, cup of drinkable water and ....much less poetically and much more pragmatically, the jobs or market space they left to your kids.
Had they had those kids you so badly want them to have, theirs might have ruthlessly taken all sorts of cheese away from yours. Considering their high expectations and your low ones, chances are their kids would have done just that.
Feels better now?
PROBLEM SOLVED! :-)
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