Can't Afford Children (daycare, infants, twins, travel)
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So it would be better to have children and then spend the rest of your lives living in poverty, unable to give them a decent life with proper housing, good food, education, healthcare and nice clothes? Do you think parents like that enjoy telling their kids they can't have Christmas presents this year or new clothes? To have to endure the humiliation of food banks, welfare stamps and free lunches at school? Oh yes, that's a great way to live.
Christmas presents and new clothes aren't in the same league as proper housing, food, education and healthcare. I'd have no problem telling my kids there wouldn't be many (or any) Christmas presents or new clothes. All of those things are material things that are nice to have but quite frankly aren't necessities and families can be successful without them.
People don't have to DewDropInn, the woman is just curious, of course their is no obligation to participate...same with all these forums.
I meant people at large, beyond this forum.
I've never asked anyone why they don't have children. I figure everyone has the right to decide these things and what they choose to do is none of my business. I also don't like to pry. Because the person you are asking may desperately want children, and not be able to have them.
Which could be a reason why people would say something like, "We can't afford it." It's not the truth but it's quick and easy and you're done with it. I don't think they should have to go into their medical history because someone else is nosey about their private life.
I have childless friends and I can't imagine asking them why they are. Maybe that's just me.
And if they say they can't afford them I'll take their word on it. Not everyone is living on a level where they can cut back on cable and their phone plan and have something extra at the end of the month. Some people have no cable and phone plan to begin with.
I've never asked anyone why they don't have children. I figure everyone has the right to decide these things and what they choose to do is none of my business. I also don't like to pry. Because the person you are asking may desperately want children, and not be able to have them.
Or you might be wildly insensitive in assuming that having children is somehow the right default position. It is no different than risking a possibly overweight woman when she is due. When you don't know, keep your trap shut.
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Which could be a reason why people would say something like, "We can't afford it." It's not the truth but it's quick and easy and you're done with it. I don't think they should have to go into their medical history because someone else is nosey about their private life.
I have childless friends and I can't imagine asking them why they are. Maybe that's just me.
Me neither. Which is why she felt comfortable telling me.
I think both can be equally true. I have never wanted kids and always knew I didn't...nor could I ever afford them. Just childbirth in a hospital starts at 10 grand, not to mention complications. And not all of us have insurance.
For the record, no one has ever criticized me for not having children, yet I have heard others experience this. I joke that my sisters "took" my 2.5 allottment as they all have 4 kids. Most people say to me "Good for you...knowing what you want."
There are a few of us oddballs out there who don't even think babies are cute. If someone wants to hand me a baby, I deter ..."afraid I might drop it", LOL.
Nope--one implies they think they can't due to expenses. One can apply to people not having them now, or still wanting them, when expecting conditions to be "perfect:" i.e. they're actively trying to save "enough". The other may not want kids, even if they were capable of raising one or two kids and maintaining the same lifestyle they already have. It's not the same. One implies: "I don't think I can have kids because... ."The other states: "I just don't want kids--period."
Again, they're still saying they don't want kids. Whether it states or implies something else to you shouldn't matter, especially since you're also saying its perfectly ok to want or not want kids. It should be ok for people to give whatever reason (or "excuse") they want.
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Originally Posted by LexWest
^As for the other previous comment. People usually do want better than they had, which is fine; but just think, in many people's case, their parents already thought they were doing great. It somewhat implies no matter how nice you may have had it as a kid, you're still somewhat dissatisfied come adulthood. The need to outdo our parents is a good example of a good intention that can become a mountain out of a molehill.
... Do you have a problem with the way your parents raise you or...
If someone admits they can't afford children to you, they probably trust you enough to do so. But to then judge them for saying it is just an ******* move.
Until I can afford a house in a good neighborhood with good public schools and leave my job for at least a couple of years, then I will afford to have children.
No one wants to raise a kid in a bad or dangerous neighborhood and I know I don't want to work 50+ hours a week and pay strangers a good chunk of my salary to raise my child for me.
I'm 23, and don't plan on having kids for a very long time .
Now someone tells me I can't afford children. Rats! Always late getting information. I always felt something was wrong with our 3 when they were at home, now I know. It was the financial drain. Curses!
I hope they don't find out our new address. I fear my DW will rat us out. She still likes'em.
The good news we have all boys so no weddings to pay for. hehheh....
Again, they're still saying they don't want kids. Whether it states or implies something else to you shouldn't matter, especially since you're also saying its perfectly ok to want or not want kids. It should be ok for people to give whatever reason (or "excuse") they want.
... Do you have a problem with the way your parents raise you or...
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That other comment I was responding to wasn't my personal opinion. I was demonstrating the issue to what someone wrote about wanting better for their children. With each generation, people desire more. That's why many people have more than one or even more than two cars, when one may have been the norm. That's why there are multiple TVs in the home instead of the one some grew up with (if that). Why in modern homes people want bathrooms for nearly, if every bedroom, instead of just one. Why houses are more than twice the size they were 60 years ago. People want more and more conveniences. I was using that poster's post about wanting better as an example as how good intentions can go out of whack.
I think people are missing my point here. I don't care who wants kids or not, and I'm not bashing people who don't. My original post already said not everyone has to have kids and having kids is a personal choice. In fact, I also said people should not be afraid to just say they "don't want kids," plain and simple.
I made an observation that the idea itself of the affordability of children in general doesn't make sense and gave reasons why. It's still doesn't make sense, and people have disagreed. I'm standing by what I wrote.
I think people are missing my point here. I don't care who wants kids or not, and I'm not bashing people who don't. My original post already said not everyone has to have kids and having kids is a personal choice. In fact, I also said people should not be afraid to just say they "don't want kids," plain and simple.
I made an observation that the idea itself of the affordability of children in general doesn't make sense and gave reasons why.
Do you think that it makes sense at a certain income level?
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... Do you have a problem with the way your parents raise you or... 
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