Your kids giving you X-mas presents (girl, daughters, grandpa, husband)
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I have adult children. All of them have various amounts of resources. I really don't expect anything.. but I usually get some sort of new gadget from my son, a gift card to some place from another son. A card and a picture from another.
What would I like? Just some warm socks and gloves.
Gifts don't have to cost anything at all. The promise of help with a chore or a quiet morning with a cup of coffee and no TV on. Those kinds of gifts are always appreciated. And it's a great lesson about the real meaning behind a gift.
Gifts don't have to cost anything at all. The promise of help with a chore or a quiet morning with a cup of coffee and no TV on. Those kinds of gifts are always appreciated. And it's a great lesson about the real meaning behind a gift.
One year when we were all kids, all of us cousins "gave" our Grandma a day. It was a day where we were one on one with her. No other cousins, no siblings, no aunts and uncles, just the 2 of us. We have such a large family that that was a rarity. We did everything from baking cookies with her, to helping weed her garden, to cleaning her gutters, to just sitting and talking. This was probably 20 years ago now and she still talks about her gift that year. She loved getting and giving the attention of just one grandchild at a time. We try to do it more often with her now, but that "gift" was what really got it started. It also let us get to know our grandma as a person a lot more.
I would prefer my kids not buy me presents. I'd prefer they invest (save) their money. They are 13, 10, 9, and 5. And it doesn't have to be bought either. Somehow, they need to allocate money or time.
That's the message I want to send.
If I want something, I'll buy it myself.
If they buy me something, chances are it won't be used.
I am only concerned about how they feel about me and buying me presents doesn't mean they feel any better than if they didn't buy presents.
I don't like the whole game of reciprocity.
I expect them only because I give them money to buy them.
I don't see how that is them giving you a present? At that point why not just go buy yourself something?
OP my kids usually do something for a gift though we don't expect it. Expecting is contrary to the spirit of giving. Giving comes from the giver. If it is something that comes from expectation, then it is no gift at all.
I don't see how that is them giving you a present? At that point why not just go buy yourself something?
Yet again, you choose to ignore the rest of my post that explained.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
I expect them only because I give them money to buy them. Their school has a Santa Shopping week where the kids go in and buy presents for their loved ones. The kids LOVE being able to do this and we love seeing what the kids pick out for us.
My MIL and my mom are both in their 50s. One doesn't want anything and the other has everything so they are both VERY hard to shop for.
Their school has a Santa Shopping week where the kids go in and buy presents for their loved ones. The kids LOVE being able to do this and we love seeing what the kids pick out for us.
I guess I don't see picking out and buying with my money as much of a gift giving. Different strokes.
One of the things I hope to avoid in our family is the ... I don't know exactly how to put it. The focus on acquiring and redistributing stuff.Gift giving is about spreading love and good feeling. I guess I want to avoid getting into the focus of buying things.
We focus on hand made gifts for the grand parents and other special people in their lives. Or creative things like gift certificates for chores. ...
The importance, for me, is modelling that FOR them vs expecting them to give to me.
Their school has a Santa Shopping week where the kids go in and buy presents for their loved ones. The kids LOVE being able to do this and we love seeing what the kids pick out for us.
I guess I don't see picking out and buying with my money as much of a gift giving. Different strokes.
They are young children. Where else are they going to get the money? They are choosing the gift and they want to do so. Am I supposed to put them to work to earn money so it's "really" a gift? It's something that comes from their love and heart to us and we appreciate it. Jeez.
One of the things I hope to avoid in our family is the ... I don't know exactly how to put it. The focus on acquiring and redistributing stuff.Gift giving is about spreading love and good feeling. I guess I want to avoid getting into the focus of buying things.
We focus on hand made gifts for the grand parents and other special people in their lives. Or creative things like gift certificates for chores. ...
The importance, for me, is modelling that FOR them vs expecting them to give to me.
Sure. Only handmade gifts or gift certificates really come from the heart and spread love. There is nothing wrong with spending money for gifts nor is there anything wrong with buying gifts when thought is put into what a person really might like. ODS bought me a coffee cup years ago because he knows I drink coffee every day. I use that cup every day and it was one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. There is nothing wrong with handmade either - as long as it's done with the right intentions and not as a bid to out-do store bought stuff.
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There is nothing wrong with spending money for gifts nor is there anything wrong with buying gifts when thought is put into what a person really might like. ODS bought me a coffee cup years ago because he knows I drink coffee every day. I use that cup every day and it was one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. There is nothing wrong with handmade either - as long as it's done with the right intentions and not as a bid to out-do store bought stuff. 
