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I'm pretty sure most people, even those who advocate spanking, would not spank a one year old unless they were preventing a very dangerous behavior (like touching a hot oven).
I spanked my at son at 8 weeks old, and today he is 43, and doing well,
and still alive, and love me very much ! ! ! ! ! ! !
.
Nonsense. Children can and should be spanked for behaving this way. Consistently, and just enough to get their attention.
It works like this. Child starts throwing a tantrum. Parent says sternly (not shouting) "stop the tantrum and go sit on the sofa". Child disobeys. Parent administers spanking and sets child on sofa. Lather, rinse, repeat as needed.
No. What other way does a toddler have to display their very age appropriate frustration than a little tantrum? They don't have the words to do so, so they must react physically.
When mine were very young, I would scoop them up in a bear hug, pull out a book, and begin to read aloud. The story always won out, and I didn't feel like a creep for smacking them.
I really didnt expect this to happen so soon. My 1 year old is starting to act a bit bratty. She'll be doing something she KNOWS she;s not supposed to and when I tell her to stop she gives me this look like you wouldnt believe. I mean the whole 9 yards poking her bottom lip out and chin down staring at me with eyes that look mad and sad at the same time.
ETA : This is a rare occasion I would say twice a month. Usually when she comes back from Grannys.
You know that's learned behavior don't you? She's picked that little move up from somewhere/someone.
I don't believe in smacking. I believe in communicating. And Mattie's story suggestion is a great one. Re-directing is a great tool. If you need to put her in her playpen:
Don't just say, "stop". And don't give her any attention beyond putting her in the playpen. (Like giving her a cookie.) And talk, talk, talk. One is not too young to tell her you're onto her act. This is also known as calling her bluff. If she knows that you know she's trying to manipulate you, you take away a lot of her ammo. She's testing her limits on what she can get away with. Just make sure she knows you're the mom and she's the one year old who needs to stop poking out her lip at you. Warning: this does not happen over-night.
Ask Granny what she does if DD does this to her. If Granny gives into her that's why she's trying the same thing with you. She's trying to see what works in her favor. Let her know verbally (kids are smart they learn before you know they're learning) that you know what she's trying to pull and it isn't going to work. (Be prepared for shock and surprise that she's been stymied. She'll hate it.)
And be consistent. (And remember she's only one. She's not going to understand an in-depth discussion of your parenting techniques but she's learn-ing! Understanding language kicks in when we're very young.)
Last edited by DewDropInn; 11-26-2012 at 03:13 PM..
Let me add that sofa/playpen time should be fairly short. Letting him cry himself to sleep alone is way overkill. After his brief incarceration, let him out to play again and give him a little talk about tantrums.
This is about a 1 year old child ...
do you really think a speach will be understood ? ? ?
Let me add that sofa/playpen time should be fairly short. Letting him cry himself to sleep alone is way overkill. After his brief incarceration, let him out to play again and give him a little talk about tantrums.
The time limit thing is key. One minute per year of age. Though I don't start time outs at one.
I wouldn't do much talking at this age. Short, sweet, and to the point is about all they will catch and even then, the parents' behavior/consistent reaction speaks louder than words to a wee one.
This is about a 1 year old child ...
do you really think a speach will be understood ? ? ?
Sure, if it's on the child's level. "Remember, play nice! No temper tantrums!" He'll remember the words and connect them.
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(And remember she's only one. She's not going to understand an in-depth discussion of your parenting techniques but she's learn-ing! Understanding language kicks in when we're very young.)
