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I think you could find several such devices and things throughout history ....... even going back a couple of decades I had friends who had TVs and video game systems in their room that were played too much, I used to listen to radio programs later than I should have and I know that both my wife and I have admitted to stashing small lights in our rooms so we could stay up late and read
I do think the new technology is a little bit more prevelant and there are some unique challenges with it (especially when you throw in social aspects ...... no one in school would care about me staying up reading (if anything I would probably catch heat for it), but you could probably get some brag points in certain circles if you stayed up and cleared a level of a certain game
I still think the core issue is parenting ... I don't see any point in complaining your kid is staying up to late playing a game on their phone and acting like there is nothing you can do about it, when the solution is pretty obvious ..... if they can't tackle that one then they are pretty much doomed for the other and unfortunately the kid is going to have to develop his own rudder
I kept having my books taken away when I was young because I would stay up all night reading. Note that my parents took them away. They did the right thing. I do the same thing with DD. If she is abusing something, it gets taken away for a while. I don't mean for a couple of hours. She looses it for a week or so. I don't do it as a punishment. This gives her a chance to find other things to do. By the time she gets the object back, she will use it again, but not to the level she was before.
As I mentioned earlier I am not opposed to children using technology, at appropriate ages, in appropriate amounts and for appropriate activities. However, I have seen many, many situations where one or more of these qualifications were severely abused.
I was discussing this thread with a fellow teacher today. She works part time in an after school program for school age children held at the YMCA. She mentioned one third grade child whose parents bought him a cell phone for his birthday to use for emergencies. She said that his whole personality changed from a friendly outgoing child playing basketball or other games with his friends after school to just sitting on a bench playing hours of games on his "emergency use only" cell phone, just ignoring anyone who wanted to talk to him (including the teachers in charge of the program).
She also noticed that the child began to look very tired and worn out. When she expressed her concern, Mom said "Johnny is playing games on his phone many nights to 1AM or 2AM and I don't know how to get him to stop". It is obvious to most people that there are many things wrong with this situation. Shouldn't it occur to Mom that Johnny doesn't need his "emergency use only" phone when he is at home in his bedroom?
There are certain family situations where an emergency cell phone for a 9 year old would be very appropriate but parents allowing that 9 year old child to stay up playing games on their phone to 1AM or 2AM "many nights" doesn't seem very reasonable. Is the main blame the "addictiveness" of the technology or the poor parenting skills?
I know that I am posting anecdotal information. However, it wouldn't be so easy to find example after example if these devices would not be such a huge problem in society today.
And cars kill thousands of children a year. Should we then conclude that CARS are a huge problem in society today?
The problem is NOT the technology, it is the inability of parent to set limits. My daughter used to sneak books into bed to read by flashlight until all hours of the night. If I hadn't put an end to it would you blame the existence of BOOKS for her "problem"?
It is beyond silly to blame a tool for a problem, when it is clearly the ACCESS to the tool that is the issue.
I don't know why people are upset by this. I have a 3 year old (3.5) and I am also an educator. He steals my iphone all the time and can use most of the apps on it (books, games, videos), and at night sometimes he takes my Kindle to read his own books. He has plenty of other toys, but as those with 3 year olds know, they are not entertained long by any one thing, and they always want what mom and dad have.
I have a leapfrog and I don't like it. There are limited games, they are not very good, and they are darned expensive. My iphone makes a much better toy. We were thinking of getting a Wii for him, but I'm really unfamiliar with different gaming systems. I'm not even sure what Nexus 7 is. However, it it does games and has a lot of kids apps, including the kind of books and games they make for iphone, it sounds like a good idea. But how breakable is it? My son always throws my iphone, but it hasn't broken yet. I don't think I would get him anything that couldn't take a few good crashes.
I sometimes see parents doing what is easiest in the short run, not what will make their child a better person in the future. In this situation I see a child who won't play with normal toys, which are important to his development. I see a parent who won't say "no you can't have the ipad, it's my turn now" but instead wants to spend hundreds of dollars on a toy so the kid won't bother her while she makes dinner. If you buy a 3 year old their own tablet computer, what int he world will that kid be demanding at age 10 or 12 or 16? Three years old is prime time for a kid to learn that sometimes the answer is no.
The two issues that I think are more of a concern than a 3yo using a tablet are:
1. The parent struggling with limit-setting with a 3yo. A 3yo definitely needs to be able to learn to cope with "no" - if you don't get this down at this age, it gradually becomes a bigger problem over time.
2. The child already showing obsessive interest in said-tablet.
As for item 2, I would wonder if there is some role-modeling going on in the home- ie, if the parents both love electronics with screens (phones, tablets, computers, TVs, video games, etc), the child has been observing this and taking this in, so this would affect his own level of interest.
Even if I were a parent who loved tech toys, with a 3yo, I might want to limit the time on it to even less than daily if the child was showing such extreme attachment to such a device. I would maybe say 1 day per week, 1/2 hour at a time, only as a special privilege. And stick to a very infrequent use of the device until he can get used to not having it so much.
Last, if I were the parent with such a 3yo, I would honestly evaluate the extended family to see if there are people biologically related to this child who have addictive and/or obsessive tendencies or problems. These traits do run in families, and if I knew there were a lot of them in my family, I would be even more cautious about setting up situations where obsessive/addictive behavior could take root.
And cars kill thousands of children a year. Should we then conclude that CARS are a huge problem in society today?
The problem is NOT the technology, it is the inability of parent to set limits. My daughter used to sneak books into bed to read by flashlight until all hours of the night. If I hadn't put an end to it would you blame the existence of BOOKS for her "problem"?
It is beyond silly to blame a tool for a problem, when it is clearly the ACCESS to the tool that is the issue.
I sometimes see parents doing what is easiest in the short run, not what will make their child a better person in the future. In this situation I see a child who won't play with normal toys, which are important to his development. I see a parent who won't say "no you can't have the ipad, it's my turn now" but instead wants to spend hundreds of dollars on a toy so the kid won't bother her while she makes dinner. If you buy a 3 year old their own tablet computer, what int he world will that kid be demanding at age 10 or 12 or 16? Three years old is prime time for a kid to learn that sometimes the answer is no.
Again - the problem is the parents, not the tool. Replace iPad with food, books, sports, toys, etc and you will see how silly the argument against the tool sounds.
The two issues that I think are more of a concern than a 3yo using a tablet are:
1. The parent struggling with limit-setting with a 3yo. A 3yo definitely needs to be able to learn to cope with "no" - if you don't get this down at this age, it gradually becomes a bigger problem over time.
2. The child already showing obsessive interest in said-tablet.
As for item 2, I would wonder if there is some role-modeling going on in the home- ie, if the parents both love electronics with screens (phones, tablets, computers, TVs, video games, etc), the child has been observing this and taking this in, so this would affect his own level of interest.
Even if I were a parent who loved tech toys, with a 3yo, I might want to limit the time on it to even less than daily if the child was showing such extreme attachment to such a device. I would maybe say 1 day per week, 1/2 hour at a time, only as a special privilege. And stick to a very infrequent use of the device until he can get used to not having it so much.
Last, if I were the parent with such a 3yo, I would honestly evaluate the extended family to see if there are people biologically related to this child who have addictive and/or obsessive tendencies or problems. These traits do run in families, and if I knew there were a lot of them in my family, I would be even more cautious about setting up situations where obsessive/addictive behavior could take root.
Many very excellent points.
I laughed out loud when I read the part in green. We are a family of readers. My husband and I frequently like to read in quiet or with very soft music playing. Many nights we would just leave the TV off, all or part of the evening, and sit in the livingroom reading (books, magazines, newspapers, everything). We did this before we had children, after they were born and while they were growing up. We never forcedthem to read but if the TV was off and Mom & Dad were reading it was very natural for them to read as well. I always knew that our 25 year old daughter never owned a TV but I just learned last night that our 29 year son does not own nor has he ever owned a TV.
BTW our daughter does watch some TV shows on her computer and our son ocassionally goes to sports bars to watch his alma mater play football so they aren't totally anti-TV or Luddites.
The last point is something that is frequently overlooked. It may or may not be pertinent in this situation but it is something to consider.
Last edited by germaine2626; 11-28-2012 at 08:10 PM..
Again - the problem is the parents, not the tool. Replace iPad with food, books, sports, toys, etc and you will see how silly the argument against the tool sounds.
Well, ya, the problem is the parents! That was my point! They need to say no!
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