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Another case of the tail wagging the dog.
OP, be a parent. Check out the content. Pull the plug on anything objectionable. Explain the reasoning; keep the lines of communication open, but, in no way, abdicate.
This is my first post but I looked at this forum and it looked like a good place to get help for this.
My son is 14 and a freshman in high school and I'm really starting to get worried about the things that he's getting involved in. I've tried as hard as I can to raise him as a good Christian boy, and even paid for him to go to a private school his first few years to make sure he gets a good moral education, but I could only afford to pay for it the first couple of years because of financial problems.
Recently he started watching these cartoons on the computer that I gave him to do school work on. I think they're in Chinese or something but I was ok with it at first because there's really nothing bad about cartoons. But I talked to one of my friends at church about it and she said that a lot of kids have gotten in trouble because of these kinds of cartoons because they have a ton of sex and violence in them. I talked to my son about it and he said that they don't, but my friend said that they can be really bad.
I want to take the computer away from him but he needs it to do homework too, but I'm worried about the things he could get in to, but I don't want to lose his trust or make him angry with me or anything either. I've talked to him but he insists there's nothing wrong with them.
What should I do?
Use parental controls on all devices. Your friend is talking about anime p*rn which is a thing but most anime is totally fine for a teenager to watch. If your son is honest and you trust him take his word for it. Watch a few of his shows with him so you can know more about your child’s interest and have some peace of mind. Your son is in high school now so he’s going to be exposed to some unsavory things. As long as you have explained s*x and the responsibility and consequences of it you should be in the clear. Just keep the conversation going.
My kids got into reading and watching lot's of things I knew nothing about when they were young, especially Japanese anime and manga. So I watched and read Japanese anime and manga too. That was easy. I couldn't give first hand info about most of the video games they played though but at least I knew what they were and let them tell me about it.
If you don't know if there is anything wrong with what he's watching, find out! Watch it yourself. Don't let him have the computer in his room. Put it in a family area so you can see what he's doing.
This. OP, you're already contemplating taking away his computer or otherwise restricting his watching before you even know if there's objectionable content in the programming he's watching. You're allowing another parent to stoke all manner of fears in your mind, while you're assuming on no evidence, that your son is lying to you.
That doesn't seem like a very sensible or healthy, constructive way to proceed, does it?
Make sure that the kid is involved in some sort of activities. Sports, orchestra, theater, scouting, volunteer work...something that he finds enjoyable.
If he's at batting practice, he won't be on the computer trying to keep himself entertained. And even if he does watch a cartoon every now and then it won't be as significant to him because he will be spending so much of his time, attention and energy engaged in a positive extracurricular activity.
14 is a good age to start doing odd jobs - mowing lawns, dog walking, pet sitting, etc.
Make sure that the kid is involved in some sort of activities. Sports, orchestra, theater, scouting, volunteer work...something that he finds enjoyable.
If he's at batting practice, he won't be on the computer trying to keep himself entertained. And even if he does watch a cartoon every now and then it won't be as significant to him because he will be spending so much of his time, attention and energy engaged in a positive extracurricular activity.
14 is a good age to start doing odd jobs - mowing lawns, dog walking, pet sitting, etc.
pretty much all boys by age 12 atleast will start watching porn and masturbating.
best you can do as a parent is make it difficult for them as much as possible.
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