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Old 01-04-2013, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Penna
726 posts, read 1,125,503 times
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I don't think this is the OP's kid.

More info is needed at any rate.

By eight one's coping skills should be a little bit better, but, in this day and age kids are put through a lot of stress that they are not emotionally able to deal with.
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Old 01-04-2013, 09:34 PM
 
Location: here
24,851 posts, read 33,413,291 times
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It may not be a lack of discipline. By 8 years old, a kid without discipline would find other ways to express himself and get what he wants. I think it is more likely a psychological, developmental, or sensory issue. Maybe he gets overwhelmed and doesn't know how to cope. No way to know without more info.
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Old 01-04-2013, 09:38 PM
 
6,139 posts, read 6,184,037 times
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I agree with the others. More details please.

But yeah, once in a while maybe, but a regular occurance? No. But still context is needed.
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Old 01-04-2013, 10:32 PM
 
5,063 posts, read 5,260,731 times
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Is the child developmentally normal? If so, no it's not normal for an 8 year old to be throwing tantrums, and IMO, that behavior should be quickly nipped in the bud.
But if the child has developmental problems, then you would really need to take that into account. We have friends who have a child who looks completely normal, in fact, he is very handsome. But he lost oxygen at birth and has severe delays. One day we were out in public and one of my children was hit with a flying toy. I looked up and saw an older (9-10) year old boy had thrown it. I was irritated until they got closer and I realized it was our friend's child. And I had an epiphany of what our friend must go through every day. I'm sure people constantly judge her for her son's behavior because there are no obvious signs of his delays at first glance.
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:18 PM
 
755 posts, read 840,496 times
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I read the tantrum as being specifically tied to the situation of an adult trying to teach them something, and I don't think it is that unusual to have difficulties in that situation, especially if it's their parents trying to do the teaching. Adults may have the best of intentions but kids may perceive it as yet another situation where they are getting it wrong and feel small and stupid, and that leads to a meltdown. No-one likes to feel incompetent, including adults. I sometimes struggle with the "helpful" lessons my husband gives me on using my new smartphone...

Often it is easier if the person doing the teaching doesn't have a personal relationship with the child. Our older son was, let's say, unreceptive to us trying to teach him to ride a bike without training wheels at 5, so we enrolled him in a great short bike camp where they taught him. Initially it felt a bit lame, not being able to teach your own kid to ride, but it actually took all the heat out of it and we were able to ride happily together after that, so what did it really matter? He is now 10 and we still occasionally get a teary angry response over homework, especially math, but I take that more as a cue to change my approach, rather than a need to lay down the law over behavior.

Plus maybe he just had a bad day and his stress came out in an inappropriate way. Wouldn't be the first kid (or adult) that responded that way. Where is the OP with more context?
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Old 01-05-2013, 05:45 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,538 posts, read 5,125,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
It may not be a lack of discipline. By 8 years old, a kid without discipline would find other ways to express himself and get what he wants. I think it is more likely a psychological, developmental, or sensory issue. Maybe he gets overwhelmed and doesn't know how to cope. No way to know without more info.
I think she's on to something. Sensory issues can cause even the most sweet and thoughtful child to act inappropriately.
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Old 01-05-2013, 11:40 AM
 
4,787 posts, read 10,703,883 times
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More info is needed.

No, it's not normal for an eight year old to have a tantrum, unless the child has learned that having a tantrum gets him or her what the child wants. Children are manipulative little critters and they'll do whatever works to get what they want.

However, in this case, it seems the tantrum is related to " adults teaching the child". In that case the tantrum could be related to the teaching method. It could be too harsh, too confusing to the child, too rushed, beyond the child's age level of comprehension, Or the teaching session can be going on too long. Children have short attention spans.

So the tantrum could be related to frustration, fear or confusion. The child can't get away from the situation which is unpleasant in some way, so is acting out.

Really need more specifics on the whole situation to offer more.
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Old 01-05-2013, 11:45 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,761,026 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
It may not be a lack of discipline. By 8 years old, a kid without discipline would find other ways to express himself and get what he wants. I think it is more likely a psychological, developmental, or sensory issue. Maybe he gets overwhelmed and doesn't know how to cope. No way to know without more info.
I agree with this.
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Old 01-05-2013, 01:22 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,491 posts, read 24,385,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloudwalker View Post
I read the tantrum as being specifically tied to the situation of an adult trying to teach them something, and I don't think it is that unusual to have difficulties in that situation, especially if it's their parents trying to do the teaching. Adults may have the best of intentions but kids may perceive it as yet another situation where they are getting it wrong and feel small and stupid, and that leads to a meltdown. No-one likes to feel incompetent, including adults. I sometimes struggle with the "helpful" lessons my husband gives me on using my new smartphone...

My daughter has had tantrums in situations like that, when I was trying to teach her how to sew and how to set the oven temperature on our new stove. This year she is homeschooled and I was concerned that we would have nonstop tantrums, but we've only had a couple of math-related meltdowns. I send her to her room for a half-hour nap when the meltdown begins.
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Old 01-06-2013, 01:01 AM
 
Location: Eastern PA
1,263 posts, read 4,662,056 times
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Definitely need more information. I would differentiate first the terminology. To me, a tantrum means a child is throwing a fit to accomplish something out of it. A meltdown to me means that the child is completely overwhelmed and simply acting out due to that. Since two of my three are on the spectrum, I am a seasoned survivor of meltdowns. You can discipline until the cows come home, that is not the issue here. Many children with developmental issues appear completely 'normal' at first glance. Of course steps can be taken to minimize meltdowns and, as age appropriate, alternative coping skills can be taught. Also, with my own children, the disparity in maturity at 8 years old was noticeable.
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