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She is a smart kid, usually very quiet and a very good student. Loves to read. Not sure if this equates to being easily influenced by outside factors such as this boy. I do not know much about him and I asked her about him recently and she made "the face" at me and walked away, so not sure what that means either.
I was influenced by peers when I was younger but that was boys being boys, not boy/girl type things.
Okay, I was 12 just 6 years ago, so I think I can weigh in on this a little (btw, just as a reference, I've helped raise 5 younger siblings ages 15 to 3).
That face she made means that she likes him and, because you're her dad, you're "not supposed to talk about it". I would say talk about it anyway. Make it kind of a joke. That's what my dad did, and I ended up telling him about my crushes. Idk how your daughter is though; how she'll react to that.
All I can really say is keep an eye on it. I wouldn't let them be alone together, but going places with friends and stuff like that is fine. My parents made it so that I had to check in, face to face, with them every hour. When I was 13-14 they stopped letting me go out unshaparoned because I was caught smoking. Now I'm almost 18(less than a month to go) and I can honestly say that smoking is the worst thing I've done.
Just don't let them be alone together at your house or his house. I have 3 nieces (from my older brother and sister) to prove that that's a bad idea.
That's good. Now is your chance to look and listen and see who he is.
It's not a marriage proposal. Just do your thing and let them do theirs.
After he leaves is a PERFECT chance to set ground rules with your daughter about behavior with boys.
For instance, no closed doors, set a "go home" time etc. what you expect from her.
Honestly, the best thing you can do is be cool. It will work itself out.
It was pretty benign and hard to follow any conversations they were having, nothing happened that would set off any red flags. He seems like a quiet kid too but they seem to enjoy each others company so unless I have a reason to forbid them to hang out together so far so good. Thanks to the person who suggested that he come to the house.
Dating at 12, no. Going to each others homes when parents aren't there, no. Holding hands walking down the street? No problem. If you spend some time in a middle school, you'll see lots of hugging going on. Also innocent in my eyes.
I agree with Mattie. The key thing to watch out for is allowing middle schoolers to be home alone when parents aren't there to supervise. Or leaving them alone in the basement rec room without periodic, unannounced checks or "walk throughs".
Although, most middle schoolers are pretty naive and inexperienced there are a few that have more sexual interest and experience. There is also a huge difference between most 12 year olds and most 14 year olds (most 6th graders and most 8th graders).
My wife thinks it is cute and innocent but wanted to see what other folks think. Daughter has neighborhood kid she hangs out with a lot, I saw them yesterday holding hands while walking down the street and dont know what to make of it. I think holding hands could lead to other things and that scares me and not sure how to address. On one hand, if I make a big deal of it I could alienate her but if I say nothing then what if something else happens. Ugh. So confused!
I don't think it's cute at all. I think little kids should be little kids and growing up way too fast isn't cute nor innocent.
Wait until you see or hear of a 13 year old girl sitting in the Emergency Room at 3 am because she swallowed a bottle of tylenol, all because her boyfriend dumped her. There's too much tragedy in early sexual activity.
In middle school in particular, it's important for girls to have female friends. That is if they want to go to birthday parties, go to sleepovers,etc. I think it's great for girls to have friends that are boys, but same sex friends are of importance. I remember back in my day in middle school. There was one girl who had no interest in the other girls and only hung around the boys. She was shunned by the other girls and was left out of so much. It's not like you can have sleepovers with boys at that age and in most cases your parents won't let you do things alone with a boy. The bottom line is that if you want a well-balanced tween life, it helps to have same sex friends.
Exactly -- but more important is that kids need to be kids. They need to have a childhood, they should not be encouraged to let go of their childhood at very early ages. They need to have fun, they don't need to be in sexual relationships nor romantic relationships before they're emotionally ready.
It's sad to see those girls who think the only important goal is to have and hang onto a "man" and they'll do anything to keep a "man" in their life, even accepting abuse, because they think even by age 13 that there's something wrong with not having a boyfriend at all times.
I don't think boys who want something more are going to spend too much time holding hands, but maybe I'm wrong. It sounds innocent to me, but you could keep an eye on the situation anway.
I don't think it's cute at all. I think little kids should be little kids and growing up way too fast isn't cute nor innocent.
Wait until you see or hear of a 13 year old girl sitting in the Emergency Room at 3 am because she swallowed a bottle of tylenol, all because her boyfriend dumped her. There's too much tragedy in early sexual activity.
They aren't romantic at all at those ages most of the time. Usually very little to nothing happens, and the bf/gf are simply just a friend.
Whole lot of "dating" and "going out" happening in middle schools these days. Holding hands in public seems harmless to me, but hanging out without adults, not so good. Meeting in a public place to hang out (ice skating) ok by me too.
When I was 12 years old, holding hands was a sure sign that the couple was "going out", or in an exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Kids around me began to "go out" with one another around fourth or fifth grade. This is likely the beginning of a life of serial monogamy, and, though it may seem sweet, a preparation for multiple sexual partners and divorce later. Adolescents, in my experience, progress to "making out" at around 13-14 years of age and intercourse at about 16-18 years, but this is highly dependent on other circumstances in their life (religion, presence of both parents, etc.)
To those who think it's not romantic: it is. Even though there may be no obvious sexual activity at that age, there are often very strong romantic feelings involved, which are indistinguishable in many ways from those felt in adults (at least at the earlier stages of attraction). I knew I felt much the same way towards the opposite sex when I was 12 as I do now at 26, perhaps even more strongly then.
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