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Old 01-07-2013, 04:19 PM
 
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My wife thinks it is cute and innocent but wanted to see what other folks think. Daughter has neighborhood kid she hangs out with a lot, I saw them yesterday holding hands while walking down the street and dont know what to make of it. I think holding hands could lead to other things and that scares me and not sure how to address. On one hand, if I make a big deal of it I could alienate her but if I say nothing then what if something else happens. Ugh. So confused!
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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It's not innocent like when 3-year-olds do it.

Where were they going?Do they hang out alone together a lot?
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:27 PM
 
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Nothing I see that is so confusing, they are 12 and walking on a public street holding hands. I'm sure they have a huge first crush going and will get over it soon enough. Why the big issue from just holding hands? Cripes, did you not have a crush on someone when you were that young and hold their hand? IF more did happen who would be the perverted sex crazed sicko kid in this situation who had a less than honorable agenda from the start, your daughter or the boy?
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Nothing I see that is so confusing, they are 12 and walking on a public street holding hands. I'm sure they have a huge first crush going and will get over it soon enough. Why the big issue from just holding hands? Cripes, did you not have a crush on someone when you were that young and hold their hand? IF more did happen who would be the perverted sex crazed sicko kid in this situation who had a less than honorable agenda from the start, your daughter or the boy?
Honestly, I do not remember being 12 at all, so my frame of reference is kind of shot. I just do not know if I should make a big deal of this like forbid her to be with him.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:33 PM
 
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Dating at 12, no. Going to each others homes when parents aren't there, no. Holding hands walking down the street? No problem. If you spend some time in a middle school, you'll see lots of hugging going on. Also innocent in my eyes.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It's not innocent like when 3-year-olds do it.

Where were they going?Do they hang out alone together a lot?
I really don't know where they were going, probably just down the block to hang out with other kids. Most of the time they hang out in packs but I don't really micro manage my kids so not sure if they break off or whatever.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GoodSchoolols View Post
Honestly, I do not remember being 12 at all, so my frame of reference is kind of shot. I just do not know if I should make a big deal of this like forbid her to be with him.
Good heavens, NO. FYI, 12 year old boys are probably shyer than 12 year old girls. They aren't predators.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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The worst thing you could do would be forbid her to see him. My parents did that. It doesn't work.

Have them hang around the house as much as possible so you can hear and see how they interact. Not organized like a "play date" or anything, LOL, but just let your daughter know that " her friends" are welcome to hang out at her house.

Also, don't ask, "Who's your new BOYFRIEND??!!"

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Old 01-07-2013, 04:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GoodSchoolols View Post
On one hand, if I make a big deal of it I could alienate her but if I say nothing then what if something else happens.
How did you raise her?

With morals and values? Is she a good person?

Or is she generally a mess who is going to drag him into the woods to smoke dope and do things that would probably make your heart stop?

Congratulations. She's 12. Now you get to find out how you did.
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Old 01-07-2013, 05:05 PM
 
1,645 posts, read 2,465,035 times
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Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
How did you raise her?

With morals and values? Is she a good person?

Or is she generally a mess who is going to drag him into the woods to smoke dope and do things that would probably make your heart stop?

Congratulations. She's 12. Now you get to find out how you did.
She is a smart kid, usually very quiet and a very good student. Loves to read. Not sure if this equates to being easily influenced by outside factors such as this boy. I do not know much about him and I asked her about him recently and she made "the face" at me and walked away, so not sure what that means either.

I was influenced by peers when I was younger but that was boys being boys, not boy/girl type things.
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