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Flexible, certainly, but not too comfortable. We're preparing them for a world that isn't too comfortable, after all.
I guess to me it's more important that they do their work, do it well, understand it and get it done in a timely manner. If they do it in bed or in their pj's makes no difference to me at all. They know their schedules and know when they need to be dressed and ready to go. Planning takes care of that aspect for me.
I think that if someone else had posted this, you'd be decrying the use of e-mail as a means of communication, rather than TALKING to the children face-to-face. .
I don't make a habit of parenting by e-mail. But I was getting some resistance, and there's something about having it in writing that prevents the "but you didn't say that" objection.
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Originally Posted by Dark of the Moon
But to answer your specific question -- yes, it's an example of a tyrannical, overbearing, controlling father..
I guess to me it's more important that they do their work, do it well, understand it and get it done in a timely manner. If they do it in bed or in their pj's makes no difference to me at all. They know their schedules and know when they need to be dressed and ready to go. Planning takes care of that aspect for me.
If that works for your family, you'll get no static from me. I have definitely found that my kids (esp one in particular!) are more productive when they're not hiding out in bed.
I loved doing my homework on my bed! Then I became a teacher, and sometimes planned my lessons from my bed or the couch.
As long as the work is done, it shouldn't matter where it's done.
My homeschooled daughter can't study in bed, because she has a huge, soft, comfy queen bed and our dogs curl up with her and they all fall asleep almost right away. Other than that, she can study where she wants...on the couch, on the floor, in the yard if the weather is nice, at her desk in our classroom, at the desk in my computer nook, etc. She's working ahead and her average this year is a 97, so her studying seems to be effective wherever she does it.
1. I agree emailing is an odd way to communicate with one's children.
2. Effeminate? Don't understand that point. It seems you're a bit concerned about that. I'd ask myself why. And how you think that a father communicating in a mass email that he finds his son effeminate is any kind of helpful.
3. Preparing them for a difficult world? You're the same guy who doesn't let them watch the news because kids should be kids and not exposed to the big bad world right? Do you make them dress in business attire as well? After all many office/professional jobs do not allow jeans or shorts.
Finally, I'd agree that we all learn differently. Some people benefit from quiet some study better with background noise. It's pretty personal and I'd find the assumption that what works for me is the "right" way for everyone is a bit arrogant.
Last edited by maciesmom; 01-19-2013 at 02:06 PM..
I loved doing my homework on my bed! Then I became a teacher, and sometimes planned my lessons from my bed or the couch.
As long as the work is done, it shouldn't matter where it's done.
It does seem to be a female thing. Fortunately Rachel will be in a college dorm this fall where she can study in bed all she likes!
1. I agree emailing is an odd way to communicate with one's children.
Odd, but helpful in this case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
2. Effeminate? Don't understand that point. It seems you're a bit concerned about that. I'd ask myself why.
We want our boys to be masculine and our girls to be feminine. What's hard to understand about that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
3. Preparing them for a difficult world? You're the same guy who doesn't let them watch the news because kids should be kids and not exposed to the big bad world right?
Right. Overexposing them to the news media doesn't prepare them for the real world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Finally, I'd agree that we all learn differently. Some people benefit from quiet some study better with background noise. It's pretty personal and I'd find the assumption that what works for me is the "right" way for everyone is a bit arrogant.
But we don't often get to choose our surroundings. College will limit their choices, the workforce will limit their choices, and their budget will limit their choices. That's something we all need to get used to.
Why would you be communicating via email? Why not sit at the table together and talk. Make sure what you are modeling is what you want your children to do. Personally, if they were studying, I wouldn't care if they stood on their heads. Count your blessings Dad.
Last edited by JanND; 01-19-2013 at 02:14 PM..
Reason: edit text
4. For boys, it just seems effeminate. When I see a kid under a blanket on the bed I want to bring her hot chocolate and maybe a kitten.
Are we supposed to burst out laughing here?
A member of my family was Special Forces which meant he pretty much had nothing to prove to anyone. Except the men in his unit. He had to prove he wouldn't let them get killed. He did ALL of his homework laying on top on his bed. With a big, fluffy comforter up to his chin if it was cold. Of course he also had his headphones clamped over his head blaring out Frank Zappa and posters on his ceiling of half-dressed women that would, no doubt, send the OP into cardiac arrest.
Uh, oh. He also had a cat when he was a teenager....... good thing he's really, really secure.
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