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My brother started full time work at 15, myself at 17. Also, I DID NOT GROW UP OR PAY TAXES IN AMERICA. There is another entire world out there that works differently to the US, believe it or not.
It used to be commonplace. Back in the day when boys learnt trades that were far more useful than college degrees.
People used to get married and have their first babies by 20, before the 70's.
You are very sure your opinions are the only valid ones, aren't you?
This is a US based website with mostly US based posters - of course we're taking the American context.
And you can't compare Australia to the US. Australia's economy is currently stronger with a lower unemployment rate. Your minimum wage is $15, ours is $7.25 an hour, with the Australian dollar being work 1.04 American dollars. A full year at your most prestigious college (University of Melbourne) is only around $8000 at the most for tuition, and that seems to be one of the pricier schools. My university's tuition alone cost $45,000 A YEAR (I was on a full tuition scholarship). My state school's tuition was $10,000 a year for in-state and almost $30,000 a year for out of state... and again, that's before living expenses!
Rents in your big cities are lower than in our big cities, and considering how high the minimum wage is, they're particularly good. Australians spend significantly less on healthcare out of pocket. And, I repeat, the unemployment rate is much lower!
I might concur that a 20 something living at home in Australia is bizarre. In the US, it is much harder to start out - especially if you do not qualify for scholarships/financial aid and take out loans (or the market dropped out on a field that should have allowed you to easily pay back loans), have health conditions, or struggle finding a job. In my state, minimum wage is $8. You might get $10 at a place like Starbucks. To pay my rent+utilities (heat, hot water, electricity - no AC) for 1 bedroom in a 3 bedroom apartment, it would take more than 2 weeks of full time minimum wage employment BEFORE taxes. I live in one of the cheapest apartments of any of my friends, and someone would probably need to budget for either a car or a lot more time on public transit. I make significantly more than minimum wage, and many of my coworkers still live at home because the cost of living is so high.
One of my coworkers is 23 and lives at home. Between her transportation costs (small car payment, gas, insurance), medical costs (even with good insurance!), and student loans, she simply wouldn't have the money to move out. Her parents enjoy having her live at home - she does all of the chores and cooks in exchange for rent since the condo is paid off and no need for mortgage payments. It allows her to max out her retirement accounts, pay double on her student loans, and still save for the future. If I had found a job that wasn't 1000 miles away from my parents, I would probably have lived at home for a few years to help my parents with the mortgage and around the house, and it would have allowed me to have a lot more in savings as well. If parents are OK with it and the adult child is working, why is it such a bad thing?
Some parents actually want their kids at home so that they can control then. The adult child becomes dependant, paralyzed and guilty. The parents may even complain to others - and even to the kid about the situation. It makes them look good.
There are also many people who do not exactly qualify as mentally ill, but suffer from one or several sub clinical or mild diagnoses that render them incapable of living alone.
This could be Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety and panic. Often society and families are very harsh with these people. Often they are smart, performed well in school, graduated from college but will really never be independent.
These people have always been among us. They were not as viable because they were absorbed into the family business, farm or what have you.
They could be a 50 tear old under employed uncle who never married, a cousin who has had a serious of abusive relationships or a sister who is fearful and agoraphobic.
People such as this really can't take care of themselves. I applaud families who recognize this fact and who do not bow to public opinion that there is an exact scheduled and that everyone needs to be a rugged individualist.
The children that the OP is speaking of....are the moochers.
She was very clear that she wasn't talking about those that hit hard times and had to move back.
She was very clear that she wasn't talking about those that moved back in to take care of the others.
She's talking about the bottom dwellers that think their parents own them something over and above what normal parents do.
My DH's friend is like this, he went to the Marines...didn't make it...had a great job at Lockheed Martin...quit....that was 20 years ago. Moved back in with Mommy and had sucked her retirement savings and SS $$ dry. Now he's moved a GF in.
Who do I blame? Mommy. She was too worried about being his 'friend' and being afraid that he'd get mad at her if she did anything about it.
I remember my son lazing around after HS, trying to decide which friend he was going out with. I told him it was time for him to #1 get into college or a tech school or #2 get a job.
After whining about no jobs...seriously? We're in Orlando...he wasn't too good to go work at a theme park or chain restaurant.....I found him one. He actually liked it!
Once he realized that I wasn't going to support him his entire life, he got off his butt and joined the Army.
He's done very well and I'm very proud of him.
Now if he fell on hard time, he knows very well that I would help him and his family out. But he also knows that it would not be a permanent thing. I instilled too much pride in him for him to allow this anyway.
Sometimes the kids are making it possible for the parents to live in their own home.
I moved in to my mothers second home 10 years ago when I was 30. I took over the mortgage, taxes, upkeep etc that she was no longer able to do once she retired. Then when the recession hit, she rented out her primary home and lives with me and my children in this home. If not for my family "living at home" with my mother, she wouldn't have the financial comfort she enjoys now.
Sometimes the kids are making it possible for the parents to live in their own home.
I moved in to my mothers second home 10 years ago when I was 30. I took over the mortgage, taxes, upkeep etc that she was no longer able to do once she retired. Then when the recession hit, she rented out her primary home and lives with me and my children in this home. If not for my family "living at home" with my mother, she wouldn't have the financial comfort she enjoys now.
So you are not one of the bottom dweller that the OP is talking about.
I moved back in with my mother at age 25. She had left my father at the point and needed a roommate to help cover her bills my lease was up so it was a win win situation.
Why are people so quick to take words out of context?
I am 21 and have never lived outside of the house except for a few years at the college dorms. I work two jobs and save, save, save as much as possible while going to school and helping my mother with my younger brothers. In return, I stay here rent-free with the expectation I help around the house and, when I graduate and get a full-time job, help put my younger brothers through school. I am hardly a moocher. My mom is fifty and nowhere near close to retirement age, nor does she have a problem with me at home. She LIKES me being here, thank you very much.
I wish people would just mind their own damn business and quit judging people.
Eh....I feel that it is only true for very extreme cases. I have severe anxiety, chronic depression and BPD, yet somehow, I manage to hold down two jobs for extended time, go to school, and stay out of trouble (for the most part).
I feel that some people use their mental illness as an excuse not to be productive in their lives. This is coming from someone with multiple hospitalizations and a suicide attempt that damn near wrecked my heart.
So you are not one of the bottom dweller that the OP is talking about.
I moved back in with my mother at age 25. She had left my father at the point and needed a roommate to help cover her bills my lease was up so it was a win win situation.
Why are people so quick to take words out of context?
Because people are so quick to judge.
Someone sees an adult living with their parents and instantly label them a slacker without knowing the situation. Rarely are people in a position to know what the financial arrangements are and just jump to the easy stereotype.
I am confident ten years ago, the OP would have called me a "slacker mooching off my mum" when in reality that was not the case.
"Kidults hulking moodily in the basement" LOL love that line but describes my useless brother perfectly. I think a mental health/alcoholic totally spoiled by my codependent mother were contributing factors. A friend at work told be about her brother who had a successful dental practice that now lives at home with mom and doesn't work anymore. Her sister also lives at home and never had a job. My other friends brother is a police officer that lives with their mom to "take care of her." I guess there are many reasons but the common denominator seems to be a weak needy mother.
This rings true in my experience. Young adults with no ambition at all are pretty rare in the wild. When they are absolutely immobile, something is really wrong. I can't blame all sloth on parents, but parents are the only ones likely to be able to anything about it. Encouraging kids to make something of themselves and refusing to support them in the absence of a reasonable amount of enterprise are strings the parents can pull.
My stepson is one of these slothful kids. He graduated from high school readily enough, but since then has done absolutely nothing whatsoever with his life. No school, no job, no travel, no projects that we can see at all. It's going on 5 years and we don't know why his mother puts up with it. She is getting something out of this, no doubt. He may very well be depressed or otherwise suffering, but SHE isn't doing anything to improve the situation. (And before you ask, we have no influence. We reach out as much as we can but get ignored. My DH, his father, gets only rare responses to his calls and texts.)
So in answer to the OP my assessment is that there are many many different situations out there. If my kids needed support through a period of seeking--school, work, travel--it's entirely possible we'd provide it for a time. But not endlessly, and NEVER in the absence of some sort of productive pursuit of their own lives. I just don't get parents who do this, and think they are doing their kids a really tragic disservice.
who the hell pays taxes ate age 13? or has full time employment at 17?
I started paying income tax at age 14.
I had a full-time job at age 17.
Who am I?
At 14 I worked over the summers and on weekends in order to buy clothes and food for myself. My parents were poor. They could not afford to buy clothes for me and many times I was hungry.
I dropped out of high school after my junior year due to riots at the school and my parents pressuring me to get a job. I got a full time job, lived at home, and had to pay my parents' mortgage ($80/month). Whatever was left over I could keep for food, clothing, and bus fare. I think minimum wage at the time was $1.75/hr.
So, there! You have met someone who can answer your question!
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