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Old 02-06-2020, 08:04 AM
 
7,233 posts, read 5,709,088 times
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Some of the saddest stories out there

Seniors having to take care of grandkids, great grandkids. One local great grandma can't even be buried due to lack of funds. But she supported her daughter, grand-daughter and great grandaughter. What the heck are they going to do now?
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Old 02-06-2020, 08:17 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
11,497 posts, read 15,138,582 times
Reputation: 26865
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I don’t think it’s right and I don’t know why parents do it. My aunt is 64, never married and always lived with her mother in the same house (different apartments). My grandpa died in 1980 and my grandma died in 2011. She cooked every night for my aunt and did her laundry. My aunt is a nurse and has travelled all over the world but definitely became co dependent on her mom. She doesn’t even cook meals for herself now, she basically never learned to cook.

My husbands brother is in a worse situation but his mother lives thousands of miles away and his dad passed away. My husband and another brother basically keep him out of trouble. My DH found his a place to live. I’m not sure if the guy has mental issues or what. He has a full time job. Basically goes to it then goes home and watches tv. He’s had drug and alcohols issues, got a dui about 13 yrs ago and has never had a license since. DH thinks he shouldn’t have a license because what if he does it again. Well he sits in the house, he’s obese and he’s not even 40. He does nothing to help himself, really has no one to help him. He just exists basically. So my point is people can still be losers without an enabling parent.
They're only losers if the lives they live aren't what they want. People need to stop judging others by their own wants and needs.
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Old 02-06-2020, 09:33 AM
 
1,052 posts, read 279,794 times
Reputation: 994
I agree with that as well. If everyone is happy and it works then good for them. I just don’t think that when the caretaker dies the person left behind is happy.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:56 PM
 
65 posts, read 10,020 times
Reputation: 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
Before anyone goes jumping down my throat about college educations etc, this thread is in direct opposition to another one which states people under 30 shouldn't have kids because for some reason they/their kids are blots on the landscape and a burden on the tax payer.

No word yet about HOW a 25 year old new mum who has been working and paying taxes since age 13 and in full time employment since age 17 is accomplishing the feat of draining taxes when reliant on her husbands income, but I'm sure there will be.

These days, the parents who are now nearing retirement age still often have grown kidults hulking moodily in their basement, demanding food and laundry and money and respect, purely for being alive.

Why don't they just tell them to get a JOB and earn it themselves like we all did?

These kidults seem to spend most of their time on their computers, fantasising how their lives will be when they "grow up" and get married (like they have something to offer apart from a bad case of entitlement), engaging in computer dating and posting their resulting misery on random forums.

Yet the same kidults seem to think they are in a position to tell the rest of the world when to reproduce, and with whom.

Relationship regulars...discuss.
I wouldn't know. I somehow managed to raise children to fully-functional adulthood.
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Old 02-09-2020, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Texas
12,476 posts, read 4,811,171 times
Reputation: 24038
I realize this is an old post, but a lot of my friends have those adult kids living at home (although not in the basement, houses don't have basements where I live). These were the same kids who wouldn't work summer jobs as teens, and they're not working as adults either. Is that any surprise?
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Old 02-11-2020, 03:55 PM
 
914 posts, read 1,146,721 times
Reputation: 1272
Well......I think it's unfair to assume that most 40ish people had their kids in their 20's (or before then). A lot of my peers are still parents to elementary and maybe middle schoolers with no older kids in the mix. Some of my peers are now grandparents. There's a wider spectrum of life experiences in this age group these days because a lot of people postponed getting married and having kids until they were older.

One of my best friends from college just got married for the first time at 43. So......

In a lot of cases, people are doing the best with the situations they are presented with and not all those situations are ideal.

Some kids really are "lazy bums" and others are just "in a temporary situation" until they can get their footing. You just never really know what people's situations are.

A friend of mine moved back home after college because her dad had a massive stroke and mom really needed her at home to help for awhile. (no other sibs) My friend made going to grad school work while still living at home and helping her family.

Another friend of mine bounced from profession to profession trying to find a decent situation, but she just had the worst luck when it came to jobs and she couldn't seem to find anything that paid a livable wage, despite her degrees and academic background. The fields that she got into were just super competitive and there really aren't a lot of jobs in those fields, so she had to change directions several times before finding a stable situation. She's one of the hardest working people I know and she had to change careers several times before finding something that paid her a livable wage.
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Old 02-13-2020, 09:33 PM
 
Location: USA
2,807 posts, read 2,208,724 times
Reputation: 4656
God only knows the answer to that question. When the enabling parent(s) passes on, the adult child will either sink or swim
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:02 AM
 
Location: BBC
708 posts, read 90,752 times
Reputation: 618
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
Before anyone goes jumping down my throat about college educations etc, this thread is in direct opposition to another one which states people under 30 shouldn't have kids because for some reason they/their kids are blots on the landscape and a burden on the tax payer.

No word yet about HOW a 25 year old new mum who has been working and paying taxes since age 13 and in full time employment since age 17 is accomplishing the feat of draining taxes when reliant on her husbands income, but I'm sure there will be.

These days, the parents who are now nearing retirement age still often have grown kidults hulking moodily in their basement, demanding food and laundry and money and respect, purely for being alive.

Why don't they just tell them to get a JOB and earn it themselves like we all did?

These kidults seem to spend most of their time on their computers, fantasising how their lives will be when they "grow up" and get married (like they have something to offer apart from a bad case of entitlement), engaging in computer dating and posting their resulting misery on random forums.

Yet the same kidults seem to think they are in a position to tell the rest of the world when to reproduce, and with whom.

Relationship regulars...discuss.
Couldn't have said it better myself! Thank you!
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Old 02-14-2020, 11:57 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,321 posts, read 19,630,607 times
Reputation: 25655
I used to work with a lady and she had kids ages 5 and 8 and she was 56 yrs old and her husband was much younger at 40 .
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Old Today, 11:40 AM
 
5,442 posts, read 5,597,340 times
Reputation: 12761
Many circumstances can contribute to this and each situation is unique. I get it but it's generally not a good idea to judge.

That said, I love the word "kidult".
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