Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Reopening a Old thread? Ugh ok well I'll put in my opinion-
My sister just moved back in my parents house. She's in her mid 40s. She's struggling to keep a job... Problem is she has barely any skills yet needs to be making at least $60k a year in order to afford her own place.
She lacks basic Job skills because for years she relied on her now ex husband to totally support her. He let her stay home and then one day just left her.... So now here she is jobless and zero basic working skills- yet expecting to get a job that pays a lot... Totally backwards
..
She says she has applied for over 100 jobs yet she can't even get a interview with any of the jobs she applied for. In an already tough job market, it's even more tough for someone with basically zero job experience-- and might I add, she has never been to college.
So I guess she has a long road ahead of her. Meanwhile my parents are trying to move and downsize and try to retire... Just ridiculous.
At 14 I worked over the summers and on weekends in order to buy clothes and food for myself. My parents were poor. They could not afford to buy clothes for me and many times I was hungry.
I dropped out of high school after my junior year due to riots at the school and my parents pressuring me to get a job. I got a full time job, lived at home, and had to pay my parents' mortgage ($80/month). Whatever was left over I could keep for food, clothing, and bus fare. I think minimum wage at the time was $1.75/hr.
So, there! You have met someone who can answer your question!
Under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA), youths 14 and 15 years old may work outside school hours in various non-manufacturing, non-mining, non-hazardous jobs under certain conditions.
Permissible work hours for 14- and 15-year-olds are:
3 hours on a school day;
18 hours in a school week;
8 hours on a non-school day;
40 hours in a non-school week; and
between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m., except from June 1 through Labor Day, when nighttime work hours are extended to 9 p.m.
Child labor laws vary from state from state. Please consult your state department of labor for this information.
No money support but I'm everlastingly dedicated to supporting them emotionally. No matter what.
I just feel like I accepted that responsibility when I brought them into this world. Their father is less invested emotionally but loves them nonetheless. His attitude is more, "Now that they're grown up I don't need to hold their hands." Still if someone calls with a problem he's there to help.
I watch. If money for something important like health is needed I can do that. My kids work hard but it hasn't always been that way and I had to make a decision at that time to let them flounder until they figured out they couldn't live the way they wanted and still have my support. A mature life calls for some moderation and I really couldn't afford excess emotionally or monetarily.
That was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I wonder how many parents support for fear of loss of love or that their children will actually die without the financial support. Those two things were very real fears for me.
I watched two brothers-in-law be coddled into middle-age to the point where they were permanently teenagers and I made the decision that wasn't going to happen on my watch no matter what I feared.
I'm pretty grateful that their floundering years drove some maturity into them. It wasn't fun to watch.
I see this usually happened with the child that the parents spoil the most when he/she was young. It's also usually the youngest child. The kid will become entitled if the parents always give in to his/her commands, tender to every needs, set no boundaries. When it comes to parenting, I believe in the "brainwashing" them when they're very young. Telling them the consequences of their actions, and following through, every single time will teach them to beware of their actions. They need to know that no one, including their own parents, owes them anything.
So I know plenty of people in their 20s and 30s or even 40s who work hard but still get financial support from parents. In many cases these parents are wealthy and have the money. Is that much different than a parent still supporting a lazy adult? I mean they’re helping them get something one way or another.
So I know plenty of people in their 20s and 30s or even 40s who work hard but still get financial support from parents. In many cases these parents are wealthy and have the money. Is that much different than a parent still supporting a lazy adult? I mean they’re helping them get something one way or another.
I think it is. One is a reward for positive behavior. The other is helping to maintain negative behavior.
What happens to a fifty-year-old teenager when Mom and Dad die? With no skills, experience or ambition nothing good as far as I have seen. One died from shared needles. Stupid, well-meaning parents financed his habit until it killed him.
The other is alone, on welfare in a crappy apartment above a store downtown in a small country community. The family's good will is long since burnt out on him so he has no one to "help" him now except other bums. All that "kindness" ruined his life.
It's sad because I know that it was done in misguided love.
I don’t think it’s right and I don’t know why parents do it. My aunt is 64, never married and always lived with her mother in the same house (different apartments). My grandpa died in 1980 and my grandma died in 2011. She cooked every night for my aunt and did her laundry. My aunt is a nurse and has travelled all over the world but definitely became co dependent on her mom. She doesn’t even cook meals for herself now, she basically never learned to cook.
My husbands brother is in a worse situation but his mother lives thousands of miles away and his dad passed away. My husband and another brother basically keep him out of trouble. My DH found his a place to live. I’m not sure if the guy has mental issues or what. He has a full time job. Basically goes to it then goes home and watches tv. He’s had drug and alcohols issues, got a dui about 13 yrs ago and has never had a license since. DH thinks he shouldn’t have a license because what if he does it again. Well he sits in the house, he’s obese and he’s not even 40. He does nothing to help himself, really has no one to help him. He just exists basically. So my point is people can still be losers without an enabling parent.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
