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Going to preface my comment with this. I'm a gamer and have been a gamer for the last 30 years when my husband and I bonded over Space Invaders at our Army basic course. We've had every model of PC since the mid 80's. In fact, gaming was somewhat of a positive thing for my husband since he got his master's degree in computer science (BS was in civil engineering) and has worked as an IT person for the last 20 years or so. It has paid the bills quite nicely for us.
With that said, video games can be horribly addictive and especially the online ones. Play a game like World of Warcraft for example, it can suck you in easily for 30 hours a week if not more. I've known friends that put in 40+ hours a week. It is easy to do and in so many ways, take over your life. There is always that carrot to chase and the game companies do a very good job of getting you on that gaming treadmill and sometimes it is hard to get off. I speak from experince on this one. I've learned to step back a bit and do other things. My husband, in my opinion, still plays a tad bit too much however the poor guy has a 4 hour commute everyday, gets up an ungodly hour each day. I try to cut him some slack but he still has his nose buried in the computer a bit too much. We are far from our teen years!! I've know adults--40's, 50's, 60's who can log in some serious hours and play as much if not more than your son.
I would say to keep a close eye on him. Right now, it isn't impacting his grades but it could. I'm glad that computers weren't around for me in highschool or college (well card punch systems were uggg and I hated the programming class I had to take). If my games were available to me would I be on the varsity tennis team, playing the piano, reading as many books? Not sure but I'm sure that an online game would have some impact. Just keep a close eye on this and you are right to have some concerns.
In my opinion, 30 hours a week is far, far too many hours.Would you, as an adult with a full time job, be able to justify 30 hours a week doing something for fun? How is it different for a student going to school full time?
If he has "nothing to do" he should get a part time job or start volunteering at one or more places or improve his GPA or join some clubs or make dinner for the family every night.
Are you aware that students can not get accepted into many good colleges without extensive experience in one or more extracurricular activities? Also, it isn't unusual for good students to have 3 or 4 years of solid volunteer experience by the time they are 17 years old.
If my kids , or any of their friends, had time to spend an hour a day on video games (or TV) I would have been shocked. They were much too busy with other activities.
Just to clarify, I'm not saying that kids or adults shouldn't have fun but everything is best in moderation.
Just like 30 hours each week drinking at bars isn't good for adults, 30 hours a week of online gaming isn't good
for teens.
IMHO, unless you are training for the Olympics, or something similar, 30 hours a week of leisure time doing any one thing is probably not healthy. What if he would be spending 30 hours a week updating & looking at facebook, or reading comic books, or attending church services, or exercising, or cooking, or eating, or watching TV, or playing with model trains, or having coffee at Starbucks would your wife agree that a teen focusing that much time on one thing is OK with her?
Does she spend 30 hours a week focusing on one, non work, activity? Maybe she spends 30 hours each week updating and reading Facebook so his (maybe, obsessive) behavior seems normal to her. It certainly isn't normal or typical of any of the teens that I know.
I always wished my parents got me into a more social life or something more outside of work and video games. My social life blows and my job isn't a fortune 500 company. My daughter is growing up the same way as I did; stuck at home on the weekends/weekdays. However, she's 8 but her GPA isn't where I'd like it to be. I want to introduce more to her, like volunteering and/or doing things on the weekend that's a little more entertaining/educational.
Now that's me and my family. Your kid's GPA is high for someone that plays video games. I'm not saying it's bad either . It's also not too late to get him out and to enjoy life. It doesn't have be volunteering but more socializing wouldn't hurt.
I always wished my parents got me into a more social life or something more outside of work and video games. My social life blows and my job isn't a fortune 500 company. My daughter is growing up the same way as I did; stuck at home on the weekends/weekdays. However, she's 8 but her GPA isn't where I'd like it to be. I want to introduce more to her, like volunteering and/or doing things on the weekend that's a little more entertaining/educational.
Now that's me and my family. Your kid's GPA is high for someone that plays video games. I'm not saying it's bad either . It's also not too late to get him out and to enjoy life. It doesn't have be volunteering but more socializing wouldn't hurt.
Grades don't matter much for an 8 year old. Really, get her out and stop worrying about grades right now. Note that grades will probably go up as she learns about things in real life rather than being bored doing worksheets.
WAY too much. He is not in a "demanding" school if he has a 3.6 GPA and spends that kind of time not doing school work. My son went to a Gates New Technology High School and took a lot of AP classes, and he was doing school projects and studying for his AP math and science classes for several hours a night. His free time was spent practicing his musical instrument and studying chess and playing in chess tournaments, plus lots of hiking and birdwatching with his dad and me on weekends. Your son needs some other hobbies if he's complaining there's "nothing else" to do.
To begin with, I have to give a little disclaimer and say that neither I or my husband are gamers and never have been, even as kids. With that out of the way, I'll give my honest opinion of the situation.
As others have said, he's spending more than 30 hours a week on video games. This is not good and this is not normal, regardless of whether the games are multiplayer with real people on the other end or not. This isn't socializing, and it isn't productive.
I wouldn't take away his gaming rights entirely, as everybody does need some chill out time. However, I would probably limit his game playing to an hour or two a day, tops.
A couple of other things I'd like to address are his grades. I realize he's getting a 3.6 now in the 10th grade, and I realize that he's a smart kid. However, school is going to get harder in 11th & 12th grade and require more dedication. Think about it, if he is getting a 3.6 GPA with little effort right now, he could easily get a 4.0 GPA if he put some of the time he spent playing video games in. If he wants to go to college, a 3.6 GPA vs a 4.0 GPA could make a lot of difference, depending on where he wants to apply.
Also, others have mentioned, the excuse "there's nothing else to do" is a very weak one and should be putting up red flags. At 17, he should have a part time job, or at least volunteering somewhere. He needs to get out into the 'real' world and start gaining experience for his resume.
Not to make an apples to apples comparison, because everyone is different, but my husband and I are currently in our 20s. When my husband was 17 he was working 30 hours a week in retail (he still pulled off a 3.8 GPA). When I was 17, I was working part time (only 12 hours) but I was involved in an abundance of organized extra curricular activities and sports outside school which kept me busy every weekend and evening. Although sports / extra curricular activities (such as acting classes, volunteering at the historical society, classes at the Conservatorium of Music) to some may seem like time wasters- they are superior options to staying home and staring at a screen for hours as they promote real life socialization and allow you to get out into the community to make connections which may be important further down the road.
You're probably going to have a challenge, weaning him away from his video games, but if you encourage him to do something outside the house (job, volunteering, activities, sports) which takes up some of his time, it will be easier as he'll have less time to dedicate to the games. Also, as he enters 11th Grade after the Summer, I would be encouraging him to study more, and think about the possibilities of boosting his GPA up even further.
Good luck to you! Let us know how it all works out for you
Our 17 year old has a 3.6 gpa in a very demanding school, plays the violin and enjoys airsoft with his friends on weekends. He also plays video games. On school days he will play from 3:30 pm until 8:00 pm with a fast break for dinner (30 minutes). On weekends that time can easily double.
I say that he's wasting his life. Here's a brilliant kid capable of so much more than doing 30+ hours a week of video games. My wife seems to disagree. When I tell my son to cut back on the games he says "there's nothing else to do" and my wife agrees with him. And because he's playing the games on-line with friends she says that it really isn't game time, but more like social time.
So I ask the question. How much is too much? Some will say that any video game time is too much. I don't agree, but there has to be some reasonable limit. A couple of hours a day for a total of 15 hours a week? Still seems like a lot but better than 30+.
I have kids in the same age range (19, 16, 13). They all enjoy video games and we typically do not limit how much time they are allowed to play. However, if they were spending 30+ hours a week playing video games we would require them to do something else.
At his age he could:
Learn a musical instrument
Play a sport
Get a job
Take painting/drawing lessons
Take acting lessons
Take martial arts classes
Play airsoft more often
Go to the park
Run
Lift weights
A million other things
And he would STILL have time to play video games.
I agree with you that your son is wasting his life. Video games are not evil or horrible but if a child is spending 30+ hours a day on them he is missing out on life outside of video games.
He is 17 year old, seriously. . if this was a post about a 12-15 year old, I would have a different opinion.
My basic ballpark for kids is a shared TV/game time of less than 1.5hrs per day.
he isn't a kid.
My major concern is that he would be getting fat . . .sure its social, but he isn't exercising.
I guess games is better than nocking up a nearby girl though
Quote:
Originally Posted by cobmw
Our 17 year old has a 3.6 gpa in a very demanding school, plays the violin and enjoys airsoft with his friends on weekends. He also plays video games. On school days he will play from 3:30 pm until 8:00 pm with a fast break for dinner (30 minutes). On weekends that time can easily double.
I say that he's wasting his life. Here's a brilliant kid capable of so much more than doing 30+ hours a week of video games. My wife seems to disagree. When I tell my son to cut back on the games he says "there's nothing else to do" and my wife agrees with him. And because he's playing the games on-line with friends she says that it really isn't game time, but more like social time.
So I ask the question. How much is too much? Some will say that any video game time is too much. I don't agree, but there has to be some reasonable limit. A couple of hours a day for a total of 15 hours a week? Still seems like a lot but better than 30+.
I have an uncle with 5 boys. They are all seriously addicted to video games. They bring small hand held game consoles to dinners, family events, EVERYWHERE. They also all have Iphones and they are constantly playing games on those as well. I have no idea how many hours they play at home, but when I used to go over their house they would be up in their rooms playing and the parents never made them come down when our family came over.
Honestly, it is a reflection on the parents. Where are you when they are playing video games for 6+ hours a day? Some people aren't capable of saying "No" I guess.
IMO, just about everyone who isn't involved in some sport or after school activity after a certain age (15+) should have a part-time job.
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