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I have 2 teenage girls ages 14 and 16. They've never really been into sports or any extra-curricular activities except for some cheerleading and soccer. I really want to get them involved in something...but they want nothing to do with any kind of sports, clubs, etc. I am tired of having them sit around the house and doing nothing...plus my 16 year old has no friends. I would think getting involved in something would help her make friends.
What activities are out there that are not sport related? I just need some ideas...
I am all for having them get jobs. That way they help pay for their own expenses while developing a good work ethic. If you cannot find them "real" jobs, then they need to get out there and do some babysitting, yard work, helping older people with housework and errands, etc.
Keep in mind, also that your 16 year old might be what they call a "highly sensitive person". You might want to google that.
I don't think you should push them into anything. What fun it is participating in something that they did not choose? Guidance is one thing, pushing is something else.
When you say they sit around the house and do nothing is that what you really mean? If they were layabouts watching television and too lazy to help out or do anything but be couch potatoes, then I could see where you would be alarmed, but they help out around the house when you need them to so that is good. Are they very shy? Do they go to movies together? The key is to expose them to things and let them choose what they like.
How about the one that likes animals starts a dog walking business? The one that is interested in medical type things might be able to be a manager for a school team and get ice packs and whatnot for players.
Their school must have some type of web site or list of clubs and activities that describes them. Why not get a copy of that and have a sit down with them and read over it to see what they show an interest in?
I'm not sure I understand the "when she gets her license we will try to get her a little job" means. She should be looking and getting the job, not we.
I push. This year (8th grade) I told my DD she had to do one activity. I let her choose but I was all over it (making sure I knew when the sign ups were, asking questions, etc.) When the first activity did not work out (there were cuts...for the Yearbook Club???? I don't get this, but whatever...). I made her choose another (one she was not as excited about). She was going to bail out when she heard there might be cuts for this too, but there were not and she has ended up really liking it (a club for tutoring/mentoring 1st graders).
I plan to continue with this strategy for next year in high school.
Yeah, we push too, I guess.
Our have always played one sport per season and they are required to participate in one activity per year.
Once they got their licenses and we told them they would pay for gas, the job really came in handy.
My 16 year old has a car, but no license yet...long story. Hopefully once she gets her license, which should be soon, maybe we can find her a little part-time job.
Hurry with her getting the license. Make it real clear that you have provided the car. You will pay insurance IF she maintains a certain grade average. (For us it's 3.0) AND the gas is her responsibility. The use of car is also great in avoiding arguments. The word SCHOOL BUS can settle things in your favor QUICKLY.
These are all great suggestions..thank you so much!! I guess I've been narrow-minded and only thought about sports as things to do. My girls have tried a few things that they did not like. My youngest was in band and she did not enjoy it. My oldest was in chorus and although she loved it, she has to tryout every year and did not make it this past year. I do love the idea of having them pick something - or I'll pick it for them...I am sure that will get them going. I brought up the idea of drama/theater to one of my girls and they loved it. I told her to check with her school to see if she can join now (mid-year).
I should be have money saved up by next month to pay for my oldest driver's ed classes and hopefully she can have her license before April - when her permit expires. My oldest has volunteered as a camp counselor in the summer at our local YMCA. She really wants to do it again this summer and if I am not mistaken, since she's 16 now, she can get a 'real' job with them instead of a volunteer position.
It's so hard with teenagers today. Nothing satisfies them and they're so lazy sometimes. I wish they knew how good they have it!
It's so hard with teenagers today. Nothing satisfies them and they're so lazy sometimes. I wish they knew how good they have it!
Sounds like a plan.
Teens have always been this way, BTW.
What's different TODAY is that they think they have so many other options besides working/contributing instead of just being takers all the time, and we parents play into it by allowing them many more choices than generations past.
Hurry with her getting the license. Make it real clear that you have provided the car. You will pay insurance IF she maintains a certain grade average. (For us it's 3.0) AND the gas is her responsibility. The use of car is also great in avoiding arguments. The word SCHOOL BUS can settle things in your favor QUICKLY.
I understand what you are saying, but with traffic accidents being the #1 cause of death for teenagers, I wouldn't be in a big rush to encourage them to drive (or ride with another teen that is driving). They will have plenty of time to learn how to drive when they are more mature. I did not learn to drive until I was 18 and I did NOT get into a car with another teen driver until I had moved out of the house. I rode buses or walked or rode my bicycle.
You shouldn't have to bribe or threaten your teen to do the right thing. If you have taught them since "day one" by the time they are 16 years old, there shouldn't be any question what they should be doing or what is expected of them.
The job idea is the best. When my daughter was that age she was going through some rough times with her attitude and her peers. She had been invoved in a few things but seemed to change gears and interests quickly. Once she had an afterschool job she started interacting with all sorts of people who she never would have otherwise, not just other 16 year olds. It helped ground her and give her some perspective. Now she's in her mid 20's and still cultivates friendships with people much older than herself and it's a great thing.
Hand them a bucket full of cleaning supplies, a roll of paper towels, a pile of rags, a mop and a broom and tell them the house should shine like a new penny.
Pretty much this! I started working on a regular part time basis at 14. Before that, I babysat a lot. I made sure it was a regular gig though from 14 forward, even joined a work program at school so I could leave early to go to work. Why? Because if I was home, I had to do ALL THE THINGS. My mom was single and worked full time. I didn't object to having chores, but when I was free and idle it was beyond "chores". It was pretty much every household cleaning thing that needed to be done, she made me do it all. Dishes, laundry, mow the lawn, cooking, bathrooms, cat boxes, vacuum, dusting, etc., and grocery shopping as soon as I could drive. Blech!
I much preferred working! Was less work, actually, and they paid me. And when I was employed, she eased up on me big time.
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Make it real clear that you have provided the car. You will pay insurance IF she maintains a certain grade average. (For us it's 3.0) AND the gas is her responsibility. The use of car is also great in avoiding arguments. The word SCHOOL BUS can settle things in your favor QUICKLY.
And when I was employed, she eased up on me big time.
