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I can't believe how upset I am about today. I was a little late asking someone to watch my daughter but my parents usually don't mind.
I waited at my dad's apartment for him to get home. He didn't answer my phone calls until later. He was at my brothers and said, "I'm here watching his son so he can do his taxes." I ask if I can bring my daughter there, too. I signed up to donate blood at 6:45, the place was literately just down the street and would take me at least an hour. When I got done, I called to see if they ate something for dinner. My dad answered, "Yes, we ate something." I go to get something small and bring it back to their house.
I first get upset about his parking; he'll make room for my brother/sister-in-law to get in to the garage, but he really botched it this time. I find out that my sister-in-law is home and my brother is in Canada for a few days. Then when I came inside my daughter yelled, "Food!", as she didn't eat anything.
I was absolutely livid. No one can help her get something to eat or make sure she was alright. My dad was outside for most of the time he was there. He totally lied about why he was there and denied it.
I'm just beginning to think I can't trust anybody to watch my daughter. My mom does help, yet she'll say she watched her all day but in reality, my younger sister watched her.
My brother will give me 20 questions and make rude comments, even though I was just going for a Parent Teacher Conference.
I can't rely on my family as they just have no desire to help. My dad will jump at the first second, leave dinner burning on the stove, to help my brother with some mediocre garbage. All the while, there is more then 3 people, aside my dad, watching my nephew.
Another thing, too. My dad called me around 10:00pm a few nights ago because his car lights were out and wanted me to help. I said I couldn't, my daughter is in bed but he added that my brother couldn't because he was busy and couldn't help. I had to drive a screwdriver, with my daughter in pajamas, to the gas station he was at.
There goes any chance in dating until my daughter turns a decent age to leave her home alone.
Hire a babysitter and pay instead of relying on family when they are not reliable. And do NOT think that you are obligated to take your child out to help out your dad. You are not.
Are you a single parent? Where's the child's father? Can't he give you a break sometimes?
And if your family can't help you when you need them, don't go out of the way to help them in a very minor emergency like that (every gas station I have seen sells screwdrivers for a buck or two).
Hire a babysitter and pay instead of relying on family when they are not reliable. And do NOT think that you are obligated to take your child out to help out your dad. You are not.
That part was just frustration. He called me and my brother, but my brother just just gave him a horrible excuse. I was yelled at when my dad blew a tire and I had to run out and help him, that was around 11:00pm. My brother, who has a wife and most of the time his in-laws to help, couldn't go out to help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
Are you a single parent? Where's the child's father? Can't he give you a break sometimes?
And if your family can't help you when you need them, don't go out of the way to help them in a very minor emergency like that (every gas station I have seen sells screwdrivers for a buck or two).
I am the father and single, but as far as the mother is concerned, she lives hours away. She usually gets her one weekend a month and some time in the summer, but is also very unreliable.
That last line I put in my OP it wasn't meant to sound so desperate. Other than dating, I do like to go to donate blood, volunteer and do stuff that just doesn't work to have an 8 year old child.
That part was just frustration. He called me and my brother, but my brother just just gave him a horrible excuse. I was yelled at when my dad blew a tire and I had to run out and help him, that was around 11:00pm. My brother, who has a wife and most of the time his in-laws to help, couldn't go out to help.
JUST SAY NO! You are an adult and you have a child you are caring for.
JUST SAY NO! You are an adult and you have a child you are caring for.
I agree.
Do you have any other friends who are single parents who you could trust? The thing that worked best for me in the past was to have a sitter "swap" with another parent. Maybe the parent of one of her school friends? A close friend of mine would swap with me like this and we did it for years. She had 2 and I had 2 and our kids were friends so it was great.
I understand your frustration. I've been there both as a single mom and then later (which was honestly worse) married to a man that I couldn't trust. Oh, he was not mean to them or anything.. I'd just come home and they would have not been fed for hours, or the baby was about to eat a screwdriver or something. Then I had my mom somewhat but only in the early years of my firstborn's life (before I married).. after i had my second son she refused to watch him and would only take the oldest! There was no reason, no behavior issues, just blatant favoritism. The one time I let my brother take my oldest son somewhere (when he was about four) I ended up getting a phone call that he was with strangers and my brother was nowhere around! So it does suck to not be able to count on family.
If it hadn't been for "sitter swapping" kind of stuff I would never have had any time at all to do anything, but as it was I still spent most of the time being the 1 and only caregiver, even got a job at their (private) school since I couldn't afford separate care otherwise. It was definitely exhausting.
I was raised by a single mum, and I remember that she used to organize for me to sleep over at friend's houses on nights she wanted to go out on dates (of course, the invites were reciprocated and we hosted my friends from time to time). Obviously, as a child, I just thought going to friends houses every couple of weeks for slumber parties was awesome! (My mum didn't have family nearby at the time to watch me).
Fast forward, and DH & I are expecting our first baby. His family is 14 hours drive away and my family is a 20 hour *flight* away so trusting family for babysitting can't factor into it. When our baby and other future children are old enough, we'll probably opt to swap out slumber party nights with other parents in much the same way as my mother did with me, in order to afford DH & I some 'date' nights.
See if you can organize something with your daughter's friends parents in future- having children of their own, they may be more reliable than your own family!
In my area we have "parents in a pinch" for emergencies. Child and Elder Care, Nannies, Sitters Boston Brookline MA Maybe you can find something similar in Traverse city. It's probably a bit more expensive than regular care, but I've known a few people to use it when they get stuck.
When my kids were little, I belonged to a babysitting co-op where we exchanged time, rather than money. Do people still do that these days? It was great. Plus, I supplemented with paid sitters.
I completely understand your frustration me and my husband have family around us but cant depend on them for anything. My mom lives a couple of blocks away and the only time she has watched my kids for the entire year of 2012 was Parent Teacher night in October and on a saturday in December so I can finsh christmas shopping. When the kids were younger it was more frustrating but now that they are a little older its so much easier and I guess I'm so used to doing everything with them that it just became natural.
Example: I was at mom house on a saturday afternoon and decided to take my daughter to the ER and automatically went home got our stuff together grabbed my sons things and we went to the ER. Later others asked me why didnt I just leave my son with my mom, and honestly I didnt even think to ask her I just do whatever I have to do.
P.S. "Date night" for me and DH are usually Date Lunches since we dont have a babysitter but it works for us
So I do understand what your feeling its not fun to know that you really cant rely on the people that you should be able to (Mom and Dad) but it will get better. Good Luck
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and single
, but as far as the mother is concerned, she lives hours away. She usually gets her one weekend a month and some time in the summer, but is also very unreliable.
Then I had my mom somewhat but only in the early years of my firstborn's life (before I married).. after i had my second son she refused to watch him and would only take the oldest! There was no reason, no behavior issues, just blatant favoritism. The one time I let my brother take my oldest son somewhere (when he was about four) I ended up getting a phone call that he was with strangers and my brother was nowhere around! So it does suck to not be able to count on family. 
