Mom having "Me time" (custody, legally, divorce, wife)
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Hi Everyone, This is really a vent, a way to think things through.. Thank you in advance
I have a friend (really family we've known each other for 20 years) that has 5 children ages 15- 5. She was married and recently got a divorce and she has been dating for about a month and a half now. He seems like a good guy, educated, hard working. So the guy is not the issue. What I see is the issue is that she leaves them Saturday afternoon and doesnt return until late Sunday night without explanation (not to me but to her children) and I know this because her children call me and ask have I seen her or do I know where she is at. Now its not that she doesnt love her kids or she is not a good mother because she is.
Her thing is that she has been doing the Mom thing and Wife thing and now she needs "Me Time" and its difficult for me since I've known the family for so long and we are really close. But I live my life completely different while I do things that I find fun and enjoy doing (read, gym, jog) those are my me time. I dont want to be away from my kids for hours on end. I do understand dating is fun and exciting my only thing is to me the kids should be first priority! Go out on your date at 7pm and stay out to whenever but when those kids wake up the next day you should be home. They shouldnt have to call around looking for their mother.
I do know at the end of the day it is none of my buisness and I will NOT be adding my two cents to anything but I just needed to vent.
It's not too bad leaving a 5 yr old with a 15 yr old for a few hours, but all weekend? And they should absolutely know how to reach Mom if there is an emergency.
How many times has this happened? It's not clear if it was once or every weekend for the past month.
Yup, it sure is none of the OP's business, and it's none of our business, and we have very little information.
Zimbochick, I usually agree with you, but this one is a little different.
If this was a rumor that she heard, then I would agree - none of her business.
However, if the children called the OP trying to find out where she is, then I think that makes her a little more responsible. She is now aware of an instance of child neglect and it is her duty to sit down and have a talk with the mother.
If those kids don't even know how to reach her, what if there was an emergency? Does the 15 yr old drive? I don't think a 15 yr old can get a license to drive other children without an adult present. So they are stuck at home for 20+ hours with no transportation, no adult supervision.
If the eldest was 18 yrs old with a car and knew where mom was and was able to reach her on her cell, my opinion would be very different.
Zimbochick, I usually agree with you, but this one is a little different.
If this was a rumor that she heard, then I would agree - none of her business.
However, if the children called the OP trying to find out where she is, then I think that makes her a little more responsible. She is now aware of an instance of child neglect and it is her duty to sit down and have a talk with the mother.
If those kids don't even know how to reach her, what if there was an emergency? Does the 15 yr old drive? I don't think a 15 yr old can get a license to drive other children without an adult present. So they are stuck at home for 20+ hours with no transportation, no adult supervision.
If the eldest was 18 yrs old with a car and knew where mom was and was able to reach her on her cell, my opinion would be very different.
We are assuming that the 15 year-old was left in charge, but the OP never stated that as fact, and has said they won't be returning to post, so...... I'm also assuming the mom has a cell phone. Many unanswered questions here, and all we have a hearsay and sketchy facts.
A 15 year old taking care of 4 younger siblings for an entire weekend and NOT knowing where their mother is or how to reach her?? INSANE.
Doesn't this "mother' have a cell phone?? I can see her leaving the kids home on a Friday or Saturday night when she goes on date but NOT for overnight and definitely not until Sunday night. What if one of the kids got sick or hurt and needed to go to the ER?? The 15 year old would not legally be a guardian and cannot (legally) sign to allow the sick or hurt child to be treated.
These kids shouldn't have to be calling all over town looking for their mother. If she plans on being with her boyfriend from Saturday afternoon through Sunday night, she needs to make arrangements for an ADULT to be with the children. I don't think she has anyone watching them or checking on them because if she did, they wouldn't have to be calling around asking where she is. She should at least leave the boyfriend's phone number with them in case of an emergency!
As for her "me" time?? Once you have kids, there is no such thing anymore! At least not in the way she wants it!!!
if he has abandoned the family these kids are rudderless for the weekend and it is dangerous. If dad is in the picture mom could well lose custody based on the fact she is neglectful. This woman needs her wake up call and now. and yes she should not have had 5 kids but once she did they are her responsibility.
( family we've known each other for 20 years) ....... I know this because her children call me and ask have I seen her or do I know where she is at.
Simple solution if you've known her for 20 years and her kids are calling you: talk to her about it.
Sheesh. Do people not do that any more?
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