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The second Forbes article linked in the OP is so important. We need to consider how that jock / rape culture dynamic is present within the military and throughout American society in general. Individual parents talking to their own children about such matters is of course noble, but a major cultural shift would be necessary to truly address the larger issue.
Yes, a major cultural shift MAY be needed, but too many of us just shrug our shoulders instead of trying to work with those that do care.
Start now with the younger ones. Set a good example. It may be the start of the major shift.
I think a good start to be to abolish high school team sports. Football has become the tail that ways the dog.
Parents talking to their children is how "major cultural shifts" begin.
Well, it's certainly part of it. However, the same parent who preaches against the jock / rape culture can actually turn around and participate in it in other areas of life, thus furthering and promoting such a culture while instructing his own children against it.
I have a 13 year old daughter. Yes we have talked about rape, a little at a time. One of the things I made sure to tell her is that whatever the situation, no matter what time it is or where she is or who she is with, if she needs me to come get her I will. I will barge into a party if she wants me to or I will wait quietly down the street. She will not get in trouble for asking me for help. Ever. My son is 11 and we haven't really begun those conversations yet. But he sees how I treat his mother and other women, and that is with all respect. That is to me where it starts.
I have great difficulty discussing the Steubenville case without lapsing into severe profanity.
I think high school and college sports are a very valuable experience for youth, but I also think its importance has been hyperinflated the more it is intertwined with money and prestige, and that tends to lead to the bad behavior of players and coaches being ignored or overlooked. That is the problem I have. Players and coaches should be held to the same standards as everyone else.
it will be a cold day in hell before high school sports are done away with. In the south-well all over the country it is a right of passage. I think it is still possible to have high school sports and still teach our young people how to act responsibly.
The military has set a terrible example as far as sexual crimes go. Even after a rape conviction the good ole boy network lets the convicted perp go free. How is this not condoning rape? As long as men have a wink wink, nudge nudge attitude about women and sex young boys will follow their lead.
No, I do not talk to my kids about rape per se but I do tell them when they're older about leaving even a can of coke or sprite unattended. They don't set their own curfews, they are given a curfew and know they have to be in by a certain reasonable time and they are not allowed to go to parties where no adult is supervising, and I have to know where the party is, who is giving the party.
I don't really talk to my kids about murder either -- I don't tell them not to murder and I don't tell them they might get murdered, it's more a general common sense about not picking up strangers, not hanging out with people they don't know, and definitely no wild parties with alcohol, drugs and sex.
I'm not much different when it comes to parenting than my dad -- we were all given a curfew and about the last thing we'd have done is come staggering into the house drunk and passing out from being some place other than what we'd told him.
Pretty sad that this rape happened well after midnight and the girl woke up in the morning naked in some basement of a house she didn't know. You'd wonder why the parents had no clue where she was -- and apparently did not care one iota where she was all night.
Thanks for bringing this subject up, Zim. Yes, I did talk to my boys and girl about rape when I was raising them. I taught the boys that no means NO and that they were never to put themselves into a situation where they could end up being considered a "rapist"....and to ALWAYS be a protector, should they even be near what something like that was taking place. My daughter was taught every lesson possible, to protect her from anything like that happening to her, as well as being taught the same as my boys. You HELP! You PROTECT!
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