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Hey guys, thanks so much for the tips and advice. This is just what I was looking for. I have to realize that rivalry and jealousy will exist even if you try to avoid it and also I should let the two of them sort things out. A lot of times though both of them come to me to referee. Also, the little one is a scrapper and has no problems swatting at her bigger sister! It's actually a comical sight if it wasn't for the fact that I discourage hitting in our house.
Teach them to cheer for each other. Teach them that life is hard and a victory for one family member is a victory for the entire family. Teach them (and make sure they know) that you love each of them for what they are and accept them for who they are. Don't compare them to each other. Don't let them compare themselves to their siblings. Make sure they know that they are their own person. Teach them that they are each going to be good at something and they don't have to be good at what the other sibling is good at. Makes sure they know you love them and are proud of them for themselves. Make sure they know their value as a human isn't tied into what their sibling does. Or doesn't do.
Individuals. Each a part of the family . And the family wins when one person wins.
(This is one of the greatest gifts my parents gave my siblings and I. It also kept the property damage at a minimum.
One good piece of advice is that if two (or more) sibs are fighting, etc, both should be disciplined. You can't always tell who "started it", who provoked the one who started it, etc. It's not my original thought; I read it in a "parenting" book that was mostly about health care. It worked for me. Sometimes you find out years later that something was not as it seemed at the time.
Hey guys, thanks so much for the tips and advice. This is just what I was looking for. I have to realize that rivalry and jealousy will exist even if you try to avoid it and also I should let the two of them sort things out. A lot of times though both of them come to me to referee. Also, the little one is a scrapper and has no problems swatting at her bigger sister! It's actually a comical sight if it wasn't for the fact that I discourage hitting in our house.
Yes. All hitting should be done outside the house. Especially if you have a lot of antiques. Church and resturaunts are much better palces for hitting.
One good piece of advice is that if two (or more) sibs are fighting, etc, both should be disciplined. You can't always tell who "started it", who provoked the one who started it, etc. It's not my original thought; I read it in a "parenting" book that was mostly about health care. It worked for me. Sometimes you find out years later that something was not as it seemed at the time.
We did this too. Who started it is irrelevant. If you did not start it, you failed to prevent it. Both will be sitting in their bed the rest of the evening or day.
As others have mentioned, it's so important that your youngest does not get more attention than your older child. It can cause a great deal of resentment that will only cause more problems later. It is not fair for an older child to feel as if they have been replaced by the younger one. Younger children also need to learn to respect their older sibling's privacy and property, as well as learning that they DO have to share their mom and dad with the older sibling.
One good piece of advice is that if two (or more) sibs are fighting, etc, both should be disciplined. You can't always tell who "started it", who provoked the one who started it, etc. It's not my original thought; I read it in a "parenting" book that was mostly about health care. It worked for me. Sometimes you find out years later that something was not as it seemed at the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens
We did this too. Who started it is irrelevant. If you did not start it, you failed to prevent it. Both will be sitting in their bed the rest of the evening or day.
Nooooooo. That just teaches the younger one to be the instigator who is willing to risk punishment to get the older one in trouble. I agree, things aren't always as they seem, but that also means sometimes the younger one is to blame.
Nooooooo. That just teaches the younger one to be the instigator who is willing to risk punishment to get the older one in trouble. I agree, things aren't always as they seem, but that also means sometimes the younger one is to blame.
I'd hate to be your younger child if that's your opinion of him/her! Honestly "who started it" generally IS irrelevant. Both kids are continuing it.
One thing that seems to help, is saying things like, "I'll be soo glad when she grows out of this stage and gets to be your age." Let the older one know that you prefer her behavior, that you enjoy talking to her about things, etc.
One thing that seems to help, is saying things like, "I'll be soo glad when she grows out of this stage and gets to be your age." Let the older one know that you prefer her behavior, that you enjoy talking to her about things, etc.
That helps? It seems to me it would just make the younger one angrier! It would have with my younger one, for sure.
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