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I always hate when people say "children don't come with instruction manuals". No, they don't, but there are thousands of books on the subject. It wouldn't hurt to crack open one or two of them. People do more research when buying a television or cell phone than they do when they're having a kid. It's annoying.
How do you decide which ones to "crack open"? There's all sorts of stuff "out there". Are you familiar with this series?
I'm not sure what "research" you think parents should be doing. I think a good child development book would be a good read; beyond that, so much is opinion.
I'm not sure what "research" you think parents should be doing. I think a good child development book would be a good read; beyond that, so much is opinion.
Anything the AAP writes warnings on should be a red flag to parents.
That's an incredibly dangerous series of books written by someone with zero credentials. I personally think parenting books can be helpful, but parents need to be discerning as well.
That's an incredibly dangerous series of books written by someone with zero credentials. I personally think parenting books can be helpful, but parents need to be discerning as well.
I certainly agree. But that takes a little more advanced research. You don't know when you pick up a book at the local Barnes and Noble.
I certainly agree. But that takes a little more advanced research. You don't know when you pick up a book at the local Barnes and Noble.
I hate that book with a passion. It's awful.
That being said, parents who start reading it should see red flags when it goes against both natural instincts as well as what every pedi will tell them.
Also, I never read a book for instruction without doing research on the authors, etc. Ezzo has absolutely no credentials. None. Why would anyone listen to what he has to say?
If a parent is deciding to refer to parenting books, yes, they should research that decision, not just pick up books. Sadly, Ezzo's books continue to sell because its pretty rare that people do more than pick up a book or go off a friend's recommendation.
There was a thread recently about parking. I got a rep (which strikes me funny since that increases my reputation points - why a rep and not a PM) saying "speak English not the regurgitation from some parenting book". I do feel badly for the poster who cannot understand that that was English, and reasonably clear. And it was all me, if likely influenced by things I have read or attended over the years. But the main question is, what is WRONG with thinking about other people's ideas and seeing if they are applicable and helpful to you?
In the case of boards like this one, many posts with potentially helpful content are completely overshadowed by a self-righteous, "I know best, you're an idiot, do it my way or you're wrong" tone that immediately turns people off to the message.
Some posters offer good suggestions in very matter of fact tones and exchanges read like a friendly conversation. The information is presented in a way that doesn't belittle the original poster even if the offered advice is opposite of what the OP believes. Threads like that are great reads because many points of view are presented without the "I'm better than you" nonsense that some people just cannot stop themselves from dishing out. There are also those posters that really have little interest in helping the OP with an issue, they are just here to feather their own cap in front of a crowd.
Repping with a comment's allure is the anonymity it provides.
Parenting works exactly like all other aspects of life's relationships. Jobs. Family. School. Social. Community. Any grouping of people.
There are (insert term) who are organized, capable and handle their position easily.
There are (insert term) who are impulsive, less capable and struggle with their position.
There are (insert term) who are careless, incapable and avoid their position.
There are (insert term) who vary widely in all aspects involved.
Certain people are confident in themselves and their thought process and decisions. Certain others need more information before moving forward. Some aren't interested or engaged and tune it all out. Some want to be in control and will argue and try to swing the results in their favor. Some have learned things from experience, others have not gained any. This follows in all walks of life.
One can see in their jobs a person who asks for advice all the time and ignores it or perhaps they just can't make a decision. One can see a person who wants to see all the information before they begin a job and needs to have someone check it over when complete. One might see a person who refuses to do what is being asked because they don't agree with it. One might also see a person who knows what needs to be done without being told and then see them do it. That person might be called instinctive about the job, or intuitive. Not everyone is that way, for sure.
Same type things goes for students. There are students who get it the first time and move forward on their own. Others are constantly asking for help and never seem to really get it. Some are skipping class or sleeping through it. Some students need to see actual examples before they can do their own assignments. Others students will protest an assignment and refuse to participate. Again, some are instinctive or intuitive, but certainly not all.
And so on...including parents.
Confidence, experience, knowledge, acceptance, ability, motivation, willingness and passion all affect how a person thinks, acts, reacts, decides and proceeds. It's just how humans work.
There is no one size fits all way of doing things and when people refuse to accept that, then there is troubling comments, resentment and minds closed.
I always hate when people say "children don't come with instruction manuals". No, they don't, but there are thousands of books on the subject. It wouldn't hurt to crack open one or two of them. People do more research when buying a television or cell phone than they do when they're having a kid. It's annoying.
I have a friend whose child is having serious issues. She vents to me from time to time. She is "at the end of her rope". And the poor kid is suffering. But she simply Will Not look externally for thoughts or help. It is like some kind of failure. I don't get it.
I'm not sure what "research" you think parents should be doing. I think a good child development book would be a good read; beyond that, so much is opinion.
Crack that one too! It is very enlightening. But we are presuming that we are going to apply our judgement to the information we read. I read that at a friend's advice. Well acquaintance. I did not know her well. It was very instructional about what I did NOT want to do with my children, though my mother would have approved!
I have a friend whose child is having serious issues. She vents to me from time to time. She is "at the end of her rope". And the poor kid is suffering. But she simply Will Not look externally for thoughts or help. It is like some kind of failure. I don't get it.
I think your friend needs more than a book. If these are psychological issues, she needs to look into a professional. In fact, whatever issues these are, she needs to find a professional.
I think your friend needs more than a book. If these are psychological issues, she needs to look into a professional. In fact, whatever issues these are, she needs to find a professional.
Indeed. But that means she somehow failed or is bad. She won't do it for him or herself.
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