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A friend of mine who just survived a triple bypass posted this on his FB.
Since this is exactly how I was raised, and have raised my children, I thought I'd repost it.
Cheers
Why did this guy post this after his triple bypass? Why not before?
Most people do all these things anyway. It's the exception that is noticed and ostracized.
Is there any parent out there who is actually going to claim they do not raise their child this way???
BTW, respect for elders stems from a time period where it was an accomplishment to make it out of your 40s. Now, not really a big deal. MOST people live to be elders, the good and bad ones alike. Age does not inherently make you any more deserving of respect than any other trait that has nothing to do with personality.
So be polite to your elders as you would anyone else. Give up your seat to anyone (regardless of age) who needs ti more.
I have a bit of a problem with raising children and teaching them that people have to earn their respect too. Again, I don't think we have to teach children that someone can treat them like dirt, but I think teaching kids that everyone should be treated with respect.
But I also don't think we need to leave it up to children to decide who is being respectful. And teaching them that because an older person is rude, that does not give them an excuse to be rude back.
I am not sure if it makes sense where I am going with this, but to teach children that people have to earn their respect too sends a bit of the wrong message.
Why did this guy post this after his triple bypass? Why not before?
Most people do all these things anyway. It's the exception that is noticed and ostracized.
It really didn't concern me "when" he posted this. Maybe because he survived and felt emotional about it? Again, why does everyone instantly suspect every aspect of even the most positive post?
People have some real issues when they must question even the simplest of truths.
Quote:
Originally Posted by missik999
In school we were taught, "Turnips are raised, children are reared."
Another example of why public schools shouldn't be in the parenting business.
I have a bit of a problem with raising children and teaching them that people have to earn their respect too. Again, I don't think we have to teach children that someone can treat them like dirt, but I think teaching kids that everyone should be treated with respect.
But I also don't think we need to leave it up to children to decide who is being respectful. And teaching them that because an older person is rude, that does not give them an excuse to be rude back.
I am not sure if it makes sense where I am going with this, but to teach children that people have to earn their respect too sends a bit of the wrong message.
There is a difference between nice and courteous and being respectful.
There is a difference between being nice and polite and actually respecting a person.
You can't blindly respect another person without knowing if they have a reason to be respected.
But you can be nice and polite to them.
Most people you won't know past holding the door for them, which is a polite thing to do so to just respect them because of age or what not is silly.
I'm nice and polite to everyone but very few people in my book have earned my respect.
I don't think teaching our children to blindly respect all when respect is earned not given but we should teach them to be polite and nice to others at all times.
As for someone who is rude to them, I wouldn't necessarily want them to be rude back but I would tell them to tell that person that if they are going to treat them that way then they aren't talking to them till they change te way they are interacting with them, in more simple words though. Like "if you're going to keep treating me that way I'm done talking and I'm leaving."
It works wonders on some of the most irate people.
I used on my mom once, she was telling as screaming at me in front of DB and a few of my friends. I asked her if we could speak in another room and she said no and continued on. I calmly told her if she couldn't stop screaming and talk to me calmly alone then I wasn't going to speak with her and I went outside till she went back up stairs, we left soon after that.
I think that's the best way to handle a disrespectful person.
Tell them if they are going to act/ treat you a certain way then you either won't talk or won't be around them until they start acting nicer.
This is nothing but a superficial list about simple good manners. There is a hell of a lot more to raising children than teaching them how to act around strangers and people they barely know.
Trite and condescending FB fodder. How do you teach your child respond to disappointment? To grief? To conflict? To unfairness? To ambiguity? To people who look and live differently?
Do they finish what they start? Do they have street smarts? Can they act with confidence when needed?
Nice post and sadly some lessons that are fading fast.
We did some shopping yesterday followed by an early dinner. As we sat there waiting for or table, it seemed everyone sat there with some sort of electronic device, lost in their own little world. No eye contact, no conversation, no acknowledgement. A very elderly lady walked in was standing in the waiting area. Did anyone make room for her or offer her a seat? Heck no. Dunno, I just find that people are so much in their little worlds now some of the social niceties are being lost.
This is one that drives me nuts too. We went out to eat a few weeks ago and there was about a 20 minute wait for a table. It was a small lobby but there was a couch that could seat three in there with about six chairs. Every seat was filled and we were standing and waiting when the people occupying the couch were called to their table. As soon as they stood up my 10 year old daughter made a move for the couch and I said no. Children don't sit if there are elders without chairs. You should offer to them first. Before we could do that, a man with his son (12ish) plopped down on the couch and immediately got out phones and started using them. They acted like they were in their living room.....spread out, leaned back, legs out. Meanwhile there is a lady who looks like she really needs a seat. I was so appalled that I actually felt embarassed for them. What is he teaching his son?
My daughter could see what I meant and as soon as another chair opened up she offered it to the lady. She also started opening the door for people coming in.
I agree that the social graces are getting lost in our fast paced, electronic world. I think that it is a shame.
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