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What age are we talking about here? We live in a pretty typical suburban area (but one with several apartment complexes and some retail around, not a close-knit cul-de-sac), and I never ever see kids younger than about 12 roaming on their own. Kids outside always have a parent around. I think if a kid is responsible enough it's fine to let them go alone on short destinations, like to a friend's house or corner store, but I wouldn't let a kid younger than say 12 'roam around' completely freely. I would want to at least be aware of where they are at a given time (this is easier now with cellphones).
And yes, I would at least partially judge a parent whose kid got kidnapped or hurt because he or she was allowed to wander around unsupervised at a young age. More than that, though, I cannot imagine how much that parent would blame themselves for the rest of their lives, wondering if they could've easily prevented the tragedy from happening. Therefore, I would not want to place myself in the position where there is even the tiniest risk of this happening. It's like leaving your toddler alone in the bathtub for a few minutes - chances are, nothing will happen, but there is that however tiny risk that something WILL happen precisely in those few minutes that you're gone - and it's something you'd never forgive yourself for. Why risk that happening?
Me too...I was free range. There were limits that were actually set up by us wandering kids. We wandered in about a two mile radius of home. There were about 4oo acres to the east where there was a little lake then further to the next concession road..We would say "lets go to the pear tree" That was are eastern limit...to the west there was the highway - "Lets go out to the highway" That was the "town" - Right in my back yard was the lake...we wandered all over the lake...it was about a mile across...Once the summer came we put on our "bathing suits" and walked bare foot for the next 10 weeks...then school came and we put on shoes.
Finally around the age of 13 I went to town that was out on the highway and about 7 miles up the road. It was a big deal. My brother would brag..."Guess what mum...Alec went to Aurora all by himself today... As we grew older our circle widened and we are now free range adults.
I know we are all afraid of kidnapping, or molestations or whatever was on SVU last night, and those are the reasons we tend to not let our kids off leash but really the bigger threat is getting hit by a car or getting shot. Still scary but interesting in terms of human nature with regard to what we fear.
I think that one of the bigger problems is that most kids no longer have good spatial perception skills and get lost easily. If we taught our kids those skills that we grew up with, I think we would have more confidence about letting them wander more.
We had the run of the "back yard" neighborhood from the time we were out of diapers. The back yard was really an incredibly long "block" that ran through the entire neighborhood, splitting it into north and south. Most of the kids hung out in the back yards, and we'd wander from one person's yard to the next, occasionally crossing one of the side streets to get to the next set of back yards.
We didn't cross the "main" street (it was a planned housing development but it wasn't a "housing development," as in, section 8. It was a middle-class developed neighborhood of all free-standing raised ranches, split levels, and expanded capes, each on its own 1/4 acre lot), without an older kid or adult directing us.
But by the time I was 10, I was riding my bicycle all over the neighborhood, hanging out wherever the kids were congregating that day. Once it hit supper time, the mom of that house would kick us all back home to our own suppers. We -rarely- went inside any of these neighbors' houses, most of this occured outside.
And yes, I would at least partially judge a parent whose kid got kidnapped or hurt because he or she was allowed to wander around unsupervised at a young age. More than that, though, I cannot imagine how much that parent would blame themselves for the rest of their lives, wondering if they could've easily prevented the tragedy from happening. Therefore, I would not want to place myself in the position where there is even the tiniest risk of this happening. It's like leaving your toddler alone in the bathtub for a few minutes - chances are, nothing will happen, but there is that however tiny risk that something WILL happen precisely in those few minutes that you're gone - and it's something you'd never forgive yourself for. Why risk that happening?
But at what age do you consider it safe for kids to roam on their own? It's not as clear-cut as leaving a toddler in a bathtub in your own home. There's a great variation in children's maturity, neighborhood safety, and other factors that enter into the decision.
When I was a child, I walked a half-mile to school and back alone or with friends on my block starting in kindergarten. But when I was in college, the two girls who lived across the street from us, aged nearly 11 and 13, disappeared during a trip to the local shopping center, walking a route my friends and I had taken for years to get to the swimming pool almost daily in the summer at the same ages.
Terrible things happen, and judging the parents is cruel. They suffer enough.
But at what age do you consider it safe for kids to roam on their own? It's not as clear-cut as leaving a toddler in a bathtub in your own home. There's a great variation in children's maturity, neighborhood safety, and other factors that enter into the decision.
When I was a child, I walked a half-mile to school and back alone or with friends on my block starting in kindergarten. But when I was in college, the two girls who lived across the street from us, aged nearly 11 and 13, disappeared during a trip to the local shopping center, walking a route my friends and I had taken for years to get to the swimming pool almost daily in the summer at the same ages.
Terrible things happen, and judging the parents is cruel. They suffer enough.
I would say around 10-12 for anything more than just going down the block, and at least 8 or so for that. If, say a 5-6 y.o. got kidnapped or hit by a car while out on their own I would absolutely judge the parents for letting them do that.
I believe the legal age for leaving a child on their own at home is 12 in most states, so I would guess same would apply for letting them be out unsupervised...
What's completely screwed up for me is that my daughter (14) can't go out on her own w/friends because there are no kids that she hangs out with in our neighborhood. There are only 2 girls her age on her bus stop and 1 of them hangs out with another girl who makes fun of my daughter and the other doesn't hang out with anyone and isn't friends with my daughter.
I've offered to drop her to her friends homes who live a few miles away so she can hang out with them but she doesn't want to do that. There was one time when I dropped her and a school friend at the mall to go shopping for a few hours and then to the movie theater. I've offered to drop them again but, so far, they haven't asked.
Another time, one of her other school friends wanted to meet up at the mall. The girl's mother wanted to meet there. I figured we would all meet up, the girls would go their way and we would go ours and meet later on. Nope. That mother insisted on going in every store with them AND brought her younger (6 year old) daughter and her daughter's little friend. I told the mother we can just kind of linger around outside or look in another store while the girls were in Hot Topic or Claires but the mother didn't want to. She didn't want her daughter "getting lost or something" (they were 12 or 13)
I would LOVE for her to be able to just go out and hang out with friends, explore the neighborhood, etc. I feel so badly for her that she basically has nothing to do and no one to hang out with. She takes dance classes a few times a week and she and I go into the city a lot but that's not the same.
I remember being her age and going out at 9am on Saturday and not coming home until maybe 5 or 6pm --- sometimes not until 8pm if we decided to go see an early movie! I would love for my daughter to have friends and hang out like that.
I would say around 10-12 for anything more than just going down the block, and at least 8 or so for that. If, say a 5-6 y.o. got kidnapped or hit by a car while out on their own I would absolutely judge the parents for letting them do that.
I believe the legal age for leaving a child on their own at home is 12 in most states, so I would guess same would apply for letting them be out unsupervised...
Would really depend where you live though. Here its normal for young kids to be out alone. Yesterday I saw a girl who couldn't have been more than 10 years old out walking her dog by herself. Earlier this year I took my daughter sledging and there were 3 little boys there (8 or 9 years old) with no parents around. This was in a small town but even in the city I saw under 10s walking around or taking the bus by themselves.
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