Help!! I don't know what's going on with my son!

[thethreefoldme]

OP one bit of advice I think could help is that you should try making him meals in advance (better yet teach him how to make his meals). Your relative in Seattle should know not to give him money, too. Lock it all up & make sure he can't steal it from anyone. He will probably still find friends who will get him high, but at least you won't be funding the drug habit anymore. Counseling is most important, however, because the problem is not going to go away on its own & most likely you can't force him to stop, either.

[bronxmom]

Originally Posted by LovelySummer

I get from your posts that you would be ok with his smoking pot if he did it only casually and was not experimenting with boys and his grades were good. I don't know if this is how you really feel but your posts are coming off kind of lacksadaisical about pot use as if you are not dead set against it. If that is true and he knows that you smoked pot at his age, he may be picking up that it's no big deal from you.......

I think he just needs you to monitor him a bit more closely than what you have been doing and to stop letting him hang out with kids who are major potheads unless you want him to be a major pothead.... I'm just using my common sense on that one.

I think you're right that if he smoked like once a month and was otherwise responsible and kept his grades up that I wouldn't be so concerned. I'm not that concerned even about the experimenting with boys because I've spoken to a few guy friends who told me they did the same thing at that age. But you're right and he does know I've smoked before. I've always been pretty ok with pot use in general. It's the excess and the lying and the lack of responsibility that have me so worried. And the fact that my sister got into heroin and she was just like he is now when she was his age. I was somewhat exaggerating when I said that all the skaters are potheads. Skating has been his passion for many years so I never wanted to take that away from him and his closest skater friends are not (as far as I know) potheads. But yes, a lot of skaters smoke. Just like teenagers think nothing bad will happen to them, I think a lot of parents (myself, at least) assume that their kids are too smart to end up drug addicts. I don't think my son's an addict. I'm really not sure about being a pot addict at all. I know that excess pot smoking can mess up your life for sure, so I don't want to minimize it. But I also know really responsible people who smoke every day. But in any case, he's definitely acting out and I will take him to counseling for sure.

I appreciate everyone's responses. It's very nice that people take their time to respond to a complete stranger who's having a tough time.

[bronxmom]

Originally Posted by somebodynew

Steel goes through a fire to come out useful too. Sucks for the steel! Pretty sure it would suck for the steel's parents if it had them.

Looking at my tea leaves, I'm going to guess that you are going to come to the end of this fine and you son a stronger man for it. You have a good head on your shoulders. Your love for your son and that good head will get you through. Day by day.

Thank you for the kind words!

[Webster Ave Guy]

Originally Posted by somebodynew

There are a lot of "may"s in here. And I don't disagree with any point. He may have experienced that. Or he may be bi. Some of us just are.

Hey, understand. No judgement. It's just he combination that is troubling...something must have happened to be a trigger. That poor Mom is suffering and I feel for her.

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by Webster Ave Guy

Hey, understand. No judgement. It's just he combination that is troubling...something must have happened to be a trigger. That poor Mom is suffering and I feel for her.

I was not criticizing in any way. Simply refining what the poster was saying, which I did not even disagree with.

[bronxmom]

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