Almost 2 year old will only sleep in our bed. HELP! (babysitter, method)
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I've given up totally, but I really would like my bed and a life back past 8 p.m. My daughter is a great baby and was a great sleeper up until 10 months. I have no idea what happened other then we had her in her crib, sleeping only in her crib in our bedroom next to our bed. When we tried to transition her into her own room at a year old, all hell broke loose. I know it was most likely a fear of being alone and away from us too. I spoke about it with her pediatrician who was adamant that we had to get her out of our bed as fast as possible, and the only way was to let her cry. I am not for the cry-it-out method at all and we have our landlords right above us with paper thin walls. Instead, we did the Ferber method, which does involve a little crying while going into comfort the baby every few minutes. Within 4 days, she was out like a light, for the whole night with no assistance either. This lasted about 3-4 glorious months, then once again, all hell broke loose. Screaming, jumping up and down when you left the room and the Ferber method no longer worked. She would scream like she was being killed and once it went on for almost an hour to where we could just not take it any more. She then decided she needed as to hold her hand while she feel asleep. My husband or I, would have to lay on the floor of her room, an ice cold floor, sometimes up to an hour - hour 1/2 until she feel asleep. Within 4-5 hours, she would wake up screaming, a few times we succeeded in laying on the floor and getting her to fall back asleep, but after a while, I refused to not get any sleep so we would just bring her into the bed with us.
Naps, were the same thing, laying on the floor with her. We tried pushing her bedtime up, back, but again, she goes to bed late enough now at 8 and not falling asleep until close to 9. I tried no naps, 1 hour naps, 3 hours naps, and it makes no difference. The more people try suggesting switching up the naps, the more I want to scream. I am home with her all day and need a break too. The few times she's had no nap, she was falling off her feet tried by the end of the day and beyond cranky come bedtime.
I've given up laying on the floor. I'm pregnant again, I'm sorta sick of having my husband sleep on the couch each night, having no life after 8 p.m. and literally feel like we are being ruled by her. She belongs in her room in her crib period. I tried nightlights, playing music and nothing will make her go to sleep on her own and for the whole night in her room. I now just put her right in our bed come bedtime and she's sleeping within 30 minutes, usually for the whole night. We can't even go out the two of us bc who we're not having some stranger babysitter or even a relative sleep in our bed with her.
I really need to have this issue fixed by the time our second child is here in October. Plus, we plan on the two of them sharing a room, though the new baby will be in a our room in a bassinett next to our bed. I've read people who are all for co-sleeping or say oh they'll grow out of it, but in our case, I want this addressed now. She is right now off in lalalaland for her nap, where else, but in our bed
We've also woken up our landlords from the screaming and night eposides attempting to get her to stay in her crib, I can't tell you how many times. I've actually heard them discussing our "baby crying" through the walls. We've apologized I can't tell you how many times and while they are understanding, I can only imagine what it must be like for them.
Please, give me advice on how to get her to sleep in her crib, in her room and without the hand holding? We had planned on making her crib into a toddler bed next month, though I'm not sure if that will help the problem at all.
Could it be the crib thats the problem? Will she stay asleep in your bed without you in it once she's fallen asleep? (I assume you're not in it at naptime) You could get her a proper bed for her room, big enough for you to lie in there with her to help her fall asleep but then leave and then slowly work on her falling asleep alone.
I agree with the above poster. I would try a single or double size bed in her room with a bedrail on the side. Let her go to the store with you and help pick out some cool bedding that she loves. Get a "comfort" stuffed animal (I've seen ones that vibrate, sing, light up, project stars on the ceiling, etc...) that she only gets while in her bed.
We did all of this when our second was on the way (there are 22 months between them). I would lay down with her in her bed for about 10 - 15 minutes and then tell her that "Mommy has to go potty, or Mommy has to go put her pajamas on, or ... (you get the idea). Make an excuse to escape the room. Pretty soon, you will be able to tuck her in and tell her "Mommy will be back to check on you" and leave the room. Mine were never still awake when I would peek back in to check on them .
I agree that you need to get this done now. Trying to move her to her own room right as you have the baby is only going to make it a bigger issue.
I started having similar problems with my almost 2 year old (who is now almost 2 1/2) when I was pregnant last year.
Could it be she is just doing this because you are not able to do some of the things you used to do with her when you were not pregnant? My toddler started getting more clingy and having trouble sleeping because she just could not verbalize that she missed mommy.
I would also just put your daughter in her new bed and tell her good night. Be firm. If she gets up to come into your room, put her back in her bed. Keep doing this night after night until she learns. The same thing happened to my son, it took about a week, honestly one of the hardest things I did, but well worth it.
I wouldn't start the new baby in your room..... just start him/her in their own crib, in their own room from the beginning. That's what we did with our son... My mom side eyed it and told me babies should be in bassinets to start off, but I am SO glad my husband and I stuck to our instincts. Our son LOVES his crib! He started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and we never had to go through any awful transitions or "sleep training". HIS crib in HIS room is all he's ever known.
I get that its "easier on the mom" in the beginning to have the baby near by, especially if you are breast feeding, but what may seem easier now is going to turn into your worst nightmare in a few months, as you have already seen first hand.
Save yourself the aggravation the 2nd time around. Invest in a good video monitor (we chose the AngelCare because it also has the movement pad which would alert you if God forbid the baby stopped breathing) and start off with good habits from the beginning.
Good luck with your daughter moving forward as well as your new addition!
Could it be the crib thats the problem? Will she stay asleep in your bed without you in it once she's fallen asleep? (I assume you're not in it at naptime) You could get her a proper bed for her room, big enough for you to lie in there with her to help her fall asleep but then leave and then slowly work on her falling asleep alone.
I agree with this as a first suggestion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabinerose
I agree with the above poster. I would try a single or double size bed in her room with a bedrail on the side. Let her go to the store with you and help pick out some cool bedding that she loves. Get a "comfort" stuffed animal (I've seen ones that vibrate, sing, light up, project stars on the ceiling, etc...) that she only gets while in her bed.
We did all of this when our second was on the way (there are 22 months between them). I would lay down with her in her bed for about 10 - 15 minutes and then tell her that "Mommy has to go potty, or Mommy has to go put her pajamas on, or ... (you get the idea). Make an excuse to escape the room. Pretty soon, you will be able to tuck her in and tell her "Mommy will be back to check on you" and leave the room. Mine were never still awake when I would peek back in to check on them .
And I agree with all of this for other ideas too.
I've done a combination of all of that and have had periods of a year or more with each child in her own bed all night. They go back and forth about wanting to sleep with us though. Right now I have them both starting out in their own beds together, and then at some point in the night they both end up in bed with us. We got a king bed and make the most of it while they are still little enough. I think one day I will miss their little bodies cuddling me through the night, and waking up to see them next to me. In the end, I don't regret co-sleeping with them.
We had a problem like that with our youngest. She slept fine in her crib, but when we switched to a toddler bed, she wandered the apartment all night screaming and crying, unless I put her in my bed. I had neighbors complaining about the noise to the office, but when I went to talk to the neighbors, they said no, they hadn't complained because they knew babies just had to cry when they had to cry.
I didn't really mind putting our daughter in our bed. My husband was the one who complained about it. He insisted that she had to sleep in her room or on the couch. One night someone tried to break in and my daughter was right there on the couch, so after that my husband quit insisting that she had to stay out of our room. We moved to an apartment with a bigger bedroom and we put her toddler bed in one corner of our room for a while, then we bought a loft bed for our oldest and put the toddler bed in her bedroom and our youngest slept there. My girls are 7 and 11 now, they sleep in the same bed most of the time even though we have a house and they each have their own bedrooms. I actually bought a queen bed for the 11 year old's bedroom so there was room for her sister and the dogs to all pile in there. So I guess I never really won the sleep standoff with my youngest, we just compromised in a way that suited all of us. She will sleep in her own bedroom if she has to, as long as she has her light-up turtle and two nightlights.
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