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Sally...thank you so much for your post. Going to DM you if you don't mind since Texas is the state we are looking to move to. Coming from NJ to Texas, I don't know all the details and it is good talking to someone from Texas.
We've been through the whole child study team thing last year which included all the tests. Although the psychiatrist diagnosed RAD, she was put under a 504 plan which in my opinion was pretty weak. Our goal is to get her classified though in an IEP before we make our move which is hopefully this summer. Our township is notoriously hard to work with. You almost have to threaten them and hire a lawyer to get action. I feel somewhat like her problems have been swept under the rug. But shall send you a DM if you don't mind so I don't get too off from the original post.
Sally...thank you so much for your post. Going to DM you if you don't mind since Texas is the state we are looking to move to. Coming from NJ to Texas, I don't know all the details and it is good talking to someone from Texas.
glad to see these folks got an attorney but really peed that they have to allow cps intrusions into their lives for the next 6 months that is just wrong , wrong , wrong . see it is true once you get on a cps list you are on it until your kids are of age and move out of your house . A cousin of mine got her daughter taken away for about 4 days by cps and she is still on the list and it has been 16 yrs and it came up every time she looked for a job . well she had one man whose grand daughter had gotten on the list and he told her he understood what that was like he gave her a job and she has been with that company going on 19 yrs now .all cps is good for is causing trouble and ruining ppls lives Im not saying all workers because they do what they are told by their supervisors in fact i knew a lady who worked for cps but she had to quit because her supervisor had asked her to falsify a document .
Last edited by phonelady61; 05-01-2013 at 07:20 AM..
Reason: spelling
glad to see these folks got an attorney but really peed that they have to allow cps intrusions into their lives for the next 6 months that is just wrong , wrong , wrong . see it is true once you get on a cps list you are on it until your kids are of age and move out of your house . A cousin of mine got her daughter taken away for about 4 days by cps and she is still on the list and it has been 16 yrs and it came up every time she looked for a job . well she had one man whose grand daughter had gotten on the list and he told her he understood what that was like he gave her a job and she has been with that company going on 19 yrs now .all cps is good for is causing trouble and ruining ppls lives Im not saying all workers because they do what they are told by their supervisors in fact i knew a lady who worked for cps but she had to quit because her supervisor had asked her to falsify a document .
There is truth to this.
Honestly, our CPS experience was a large factor in our decision to not have more children.
The problem is not just individually bad CPS workers, the problem is systemic: first, that malicious or irresponsible people are able to shield themselves from deserved obloquy through anonymous reporting; second, that CPS workers have so much unaccountable power and authority that it would corrupt almost anyone. Judges in many areas simply act as rubber stamps for them, unless the parents have enough money to hire a reasonably competent private attorney.
The problem is not just individually bad CPS workers, the problem is systemic: first, that malicious or irresponsible people are able to shield themselves from deserved obloquy through anonymous reporting; second, that CPS workers have so much unaccountable power and authority that it would corrupt almost anyone. Judges in many areas simply act as rubber stamps for them, unless the parents have enough money to hire a reasonably competent private attorney.
And competent is the key. Many attorneys have no clue about how to properly handle a CPS case and will tell parents to just agree to everything, kiss CPS butt, go along with it all, when that might not be the best tactic.
In our case with our DD and the parental abduction nightmare, when we finally found her and ended up in court because her father had an open CPS case, the CASA worker, CPS worker, and Judge were all chummy chum chum. Plus, they "knew" her bio dad. So, my wife, DD's mother, was excluded from hearings and then when included, not allowed to speak at all. The CASA worker, who was supposed to talk to everyone involved and try and determine what was best for the child, never said a word to my wife, never talked to DD, and just had a chat with her father then told the judge and the CPS worker that she "felt like Dad was probably telling the truth".
It was an absolutely comical pretense of "justice" of any kind and our attorney was utterly useless. When he was helping us go after her father for parental abduction he was full of bravado about how we'd "nail him" but as soon as he realized CPS was involved he tucked his tail and ran, pretty much.
Cases like these are so sad and frustrating. CPS is needed, clearly, and I understand that they have a very difficult work to do. But there are way too many mistakes made that cost way too much for the families involved to be acceptable.
There was a discussion on this site a while back where some posters argued that kids being removed is evidence that the parents are abusive and that at that point the parents shouldn't get another chance and the kids should be put up for adoption. If it was only that simple. Fact is that a lot of kids are removed for completely frivolous reasons and others are removed due to exaggerated allegations. You just can't assume that placement in foster care is proof of abuse or neglect.
It's so unfortunate that so many families who could really need help have to be afraid of losing their kids or being hounded by social workers for years. I have two much, much younger half brothers, 2 and 5, who live in Sweden with my dad and his wife who has serious mental problems that leads to her raging and becoming violent. After some recent crisis I seriously considered contacting the Swedish version of CPS but unfortunately they are no different than their American counterparts. They too help many kids but also destroy undeserving families, twist information and go too far. Because of this I'm very hesitant to involve them because I just don't know if it will make things worse and hurt the kids more. I want them to provide help, maybe put some pressure on my dad's wife to get help for herself which she currently refuses, but I don't want them to haul the kids out of there and put them in foster care and the risk is just too big that I don't feel safe turning to them for help. I know I'm not the only one who is afraid to turn to CPS for help due to fear of what will happen. That just shouldn't be.
CPS everywhere really need to review their policies and actions and make some drastic changes. Things like the story in this thread happen way, way too often.
We as Americans really need to start a movement against these "services." I hear it all the time, good parents get children taken away, bad parents don't get discovered until major injury or death has already occurred. So tell me. What in the hell is the point of these services? I mean all it takes to make someone's life a living hell if they have a child is to drop an anonymous tip that they hit their child. Even if it proves to be unfounded, it causes all sorts of issues. If it is something that they need more funding so they can do what they were designed to do instead of harassing good parents all the time, then so be it. If it is something that the whole system needs reworked, rework it. If the system needs disbanded, disband it. SOMETHING needs done.
And competent is the key. Many attorneys have no clue about how to properly handle a CPS case and will tell parents to just agree to everything, kiss CPS butt, go along with it all, when that might not be the best tactic.
In our case with our DD and the parental abduction nightmare, when we finally found her and ended up in court because her father had an open CPS case, the CASA worker, CPS worker, and Judge were all chummy chum chum. Plus, they "knew" her bio dad. So, my wife, DD's mother, was excluded from hearings and then when included, not allowed to speak at all. The CASA worker, who was supposed to talk to everyone involved and try and determine what was best for the child, never said a word to my wife, never talked to DD, and just had a chat with her father then told the judge and the CPS worker that she "felt like Dad was probably telling the truth".
It was an absolutely comical pretense of "justice" of any kind and our attorney was utterly useless. When he was helping us go after her father for parental abduction he was full of bravado about how we'd "nail him" but as soon as he realized CPS was involved he tucked his tail and ran, pretty much.
Yeah most worthless lawyers are scared of cps . I think the whole lot needs to be done away with and the workers fired . Let them worry about getting a job for once and trying to feed their family .and your wife is going to be dealing with this until this child moves out of your home and or turns 18 . Funny how when these kids turn 18 CPS acts like they no longer know them or you which is a good thing when you have an agenda I suppose . Dogs all of them dirty dogs ...
We as Americans really need to start a movement against these "services." I hear it all the time, good parents get children taken away, bad parents don't get discovered until major injury or death has already occurred. So tell me. What in the hell is the point of these services?
There's been a movement since the 1990s. Some of the leaders have been disappointing, but it exists, and it's pretty easy to find on google.
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