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I'm sure it is very disheartening to spill your guts on this forum and then be called names and made fun of. I apologize. It just goes to show none of us knows what is going on in other people's marriages and homes. I'm sure others here have situations in our personal lives which would raise eyebrows.
Its sad that despite her change in attitude she is unwilling to get involved in a very important stage in her son's life
Well, if not ideal, it is at least understandable. Her world has been working a certain way for a LONG time. She has come to expect and rely on it. It is going to make her feel UNCOMFORTABLE and THREATENED. I can understand why she is not just instant turning on a dime. The oldish dog is gonna need to learn some new tricks.
She still hates the idea and has yet to involve herself in the discussion
I've mentioned it before but I wonder if your wife is concerned that if your son goes to college how she could still be a SAHM with no children at home. She may be thinking that she could "accidently" become pregnant again so that she can be a SAHM for the next 18 years.
I've heard about mothers on public assistance and in other situations where the Mom doesn't have to work until their children are in school full time, having a new baby as soon as the next oldest starts full days kindergarten or 1st grade and then five years later having another new baby (so they could continue to stay at home as a SAHM and not have to join the work force as a working mother).
I may be wrong, but if you were my brother or friend I would suggest that you stay quite vigilant about using birth control (just in case).
I've mentioned it before but I wonder if your wife is concerned that if your son goes to college how she could still be a SAHM with no children at home. She may be thinking that she could "accidently" become pregnant again so that she can be a SAHM for the next 18 years.
I've heard about mothers on public assistance and in other situations where the Mom doesn't have to work until their children are in school full time, having a new baby as soon as the next oldest starts full days kindergarten or 1st grade and then five years later having another new baby (so they could continue to stay at home as a SAHM and not have to join the work force as a working mother).
I may be wrong, but if you were my brother or friend I would suggest that you stay quite vigilant about using birth control (just in case).
A lot of women and couples, welfare or not, like to plan their children this way so each baby can have full attention. Does not mean she is doing it to avoid getting a paycheck. Being a SAHM is plenty of hard work.
I do however agree that she might be thinking about that and bringing another child into this marriage would not be a good thing. I was going to say pages earlier that the smartest thing they ever did was limit their family to only 1 child.
We finally got her to sit down with us and discuss CC( and 4 yr schools after CC). She looked uninterested and kept looking at her phone. She only spoke towards the end. She tried to pursuade him out of discussions. " Sweetie please, this is so dumb. This is your summer, you should be out with your friends causing trouble * giggles*, hanging out with ( his gf) by the pool. This is a waste. I tell you what. Call her up and have her come over. I'll set up some chairs and make you a batch of drinks." He shot her down and she left.
Quite obviously she does not want him to grow up. Has her opinion of his decision to attend college been discussed in family therapy?
On the other hand, I'm going to assume the drinks she offered to make were non-alcoholic? As I recall he's been in trouble in the past for drinking. He is also underage as is his girlfriend. It's her kid so her call on the drinking, but if my daughter had been served alcohol by a parent when she was underage, I would be furious. Guess she wants to still be the "cool" mom. She's really quite afraid that she will lose him isn't she?
Quite obviously she does not want him to grow up. Has her opinion of his decision to attend college been discussed in family therapy?
On the other hand, I'm going to assume the drinks she offered to make were non-alcoholic? As I recall he's been in trouble in the past for drinking. He is also underage as is his girlfriend. It's her kid so her call on the drinking, but if my daughter had been served alcohol by a parent when she was underage, I would be furious. Guess she wants to still be the "cool" mom. She's really quite afraid that she will lose him isn't she?
No, it has not been brought up. No, the drinks were alcoholic. The only trouble he's been in is with me over drinking, never her( 1 night of grounding remember?) I think his GF drinks also. She does want to be the cool mom and yes, she's afraid.
We finally got her to sit down with us and discuss CC( and 4 yr schools after CC). She looked uninterested and kept looking at her phone. She only spoke towards the end. She tried to pursuade him out of discussions. " Sweetie please, this is so dumb. This is your summer, you should be out with your friends causing trouble * giggles*, hanging out with ( his gf) by the pool. This is a waste. I tell you what. Call her up and have her come over. I'll set up some chairs and make you a batch of drinks." He shot her down and she left.
She's terrifying. Still a long way to go. Be thankful that your son seems to be maturing by the minute and shutting her down when she makes these ridiculous suggestions. I agree with your earlier post, you really can not trust her yet. One week is NOTHING. I'm happy for your son though
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