Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So last night, my son went on his date night with his useless girlfriend. It was my wife and I on the couch just hanging out and watching some TV until the kids came out and she hung out with them. I didn’t want to wait to talk to her. I figured, in a casual setting like this( I made sure she was in a good mood), I would ask her an intriguing question that I saw on here: Where do you see your son in 6 months? A year? I asked her this and I got back an “ I don’t know, why worry tonight? I’m sure he’ll think of something.” I told her that, in a year, if nothing changes, he’ll be sleeping until 5 in his bed only with his girlfriend all moved in.
She said I was “ being goofy”.
I told her that I wanted to go get counseling for the family because I feel as though she doesn’t respect me. Somehow, this turned into a “ you’re too hard on him. He needs to be comforted( her way of saying pampered) and loved. When was the last time you hugged him or told him you loved him?” talk. My dad hardly did either but I knew he loved me because he listened, guided, and helped me whenever I needed it. I know she loves this kid and tells him often and hugs him but I’m not her and I love him as well. After her statement, she agreed to go in order to appease me. She said that he was “ a bit spoiled and lazy, but kids deserve a little spoiling. I was spoiled as a kid ( indeed she was)”. That was the end of the talk. I guess I should be happy she's going, but something tells me she'll ignore the doctor and do what she's always done.
I read this post and have no idea what is being said here. Lets look at this.
The OP went from son going on a date with his girl friend to having the son move the girl friend in to the home. Why would that happen? What parent would allow a kid to have a girl friend (or boy friend) move in? Why would the girl friends parents allow that? If this son is old enough to have a "live in" girl friend then he must be old enough to pay for that girl friend in his own home.
OK, Os moving on to page 2 I see this thread posted and check it out.
To the OP. You and your wife need to be parents and teach your son the reality of life. He either produces or walks and figures it out on his own.
If you can not come to an agreement on that then you need to figure out how you can work around that. How many years do you give this kid a free ride? Do you bust tale every day at work so he can play? Does your wife work? Maybe the agreement has her flipping the bill for your sons non productive life style.
Our kids know one thing. Graduate from school and when they are 18 and graduated they have to be prodictive in one of several areas. Here are the choices that we gave them if they want to stay at our home:
1. College. The area has 3 community colleges and 5 Universities that are within range of our home. They can live here for free if they keep going to school.
2. Get a job. We will charge them rent but they will have a cheap place to live.
3. Start a business. As long as it is a growing business we will help them out with that.
4. Do nothing and we offer nothing. No room and board, no food, no help. Our oldest son took us up on this deal and he has been living on his own for 3 years now. Then again he has helped teach the other 5 that they prefer the other 3 choices. Three of the six allready know what they want to do with their life. Two are planning on becoming RN's and another wants to be a Counselor. Our oldest son has since decided that it is no fun living on his own and plans on joining the Navy.
OK, Os moving on to page 2 I see this thread posted and check it out.
To the OP. You and your wife need to be parents and teach your son the reality of life. He either produces or walks and figures it out on his own.
If you can not come to an agreement on that then you need to figure out how you can work around that. How many years do you give this kid a free ride? Do you bust tale every day at work so he can play? Does your wife work? Maybe the agreement has her flipping the bill for your sons non productive life style.
Our kids know one thing. Graduate from school and when they are 18 and graduated they have to be prodictive in one of several areas. Here are the choices that we gave them if they want to stay at our home:
1. College. The area has 3 community colleges and 5 Universities that are within range of our home. They can live here for free if they keep going to school.
2. Get a job. We will charge them rent but they will have a cheap place to live.
3. Start a business. As long as it is a growing business we will help them out with that.
4. Do nothing and we offer nothing. No room and board, no food, no help. Our oldest son took us up on this deal and he has been living on his own for 3 years now. Then again he has helped teach the other 5 that they prefer the other 3 choices. Three of the six allready know what they want to do with their life. Two are planning on becoming RN's and another wants to be a Counselor. Our oldest son has since decided that it is no fun living on his own and plans on joining the Navy.
Your plan sounds great for your family.
In this case, though, the son's future is the LEAST of this OP's worries.
Yeah, he's excited, I'm excited, His GF id excited, and his mom is well.. his mom
Well, hopefully, this can be addressed in therapy. But the going looks good!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
