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Old 08-05-2013, 04:21 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 755,485 times
Reputation: 343

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Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
BTW--let me guess, was there a little (or a lot) of wine with dinner?

Where do you want to go on a vacation? Do you want a condo in Chicago?
I could make a fairly good guess as to what part of the country you live in having lived in the general area at one times. Some of the things you post are familiar enough that they make sense to me as some one from that general area.
There was wine with dinner. She had 2 glasses and ( because I was going to drive) only had 1. Personally I'd be fine going to San Diego or South Beach, Miami. I don't think we NEED a Chicago condo. What part of the country do you think I live in?

 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:23 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 755,485 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Does she not have access to the household money? I know she doesn't work, but could she go out and buy her own jewlery?
Yes, she does have access to the money
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:24 PM
 
Location: here
24,841 posts, read 30,928,546 times
Reputation: 32481
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
Yes, she does have access to the money
So the only real reason for guilting you into buying her gifts is to manipulate you. If she really wanted a material thing, she could just go out and buy it.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:26 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 755,485 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by njmom66 View Post

Now that your son is grown, has she ever considered getting a part time job?

it is always nice to earn a paycheck...Then she can go ahead and spend money on herself.
No, no job plans. She just wants to lounge around and do nothing, she brought up having a cleaning lady come in once a week.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:28 PM
 
Location: here
24,841 posts, read 30,928,546 times
Reputation: 32481
Well, if she wants to be a "kept woman" and that's not cool with you, then you have a real problem.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:45 PM
 
912 posts, read 887,517 times
Reputation: 1569
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
No, no job plans. She just wants to lounge around and do nothing, she brought up having a cleaning lady come in once a week.
OK, but doesn't she get bored? Does she go out at all, maybe lunch with friends, or whatever? I could not lay around my house all day, every day...insanity would set in.

Maybe she needs an outside interest. Even if it's not a job, maybe a hobby, or volunteering. ANYTHING...
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:55 PM
 
Location: here
24,841 posts, read 30,928,546 times
Reputation: 32481
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
No, no job plans. She just wants to lounge around and do nothing, she brought up having a cleaning lady come in once a week.
This is one more thing that could be discussed at therapy. You are at a point of transition. You can't "make" her go to work, but it could at least be discussed in the context of "what next?" Now that there isn't a child in the house, what do you both want for the next phase? I wonder if she would really say she wants to be a kept woman who does nothing, if she were asked by a 3rd party.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 09:33 PM
 
Location: The Triangle
4,465 posts, read 3,548,707 times
Reputation: 13453
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
We went to dinner last night just because and then went home and he was out for the night. She told me that our wedding day was the the 2nd greatest day of her life and the first was ( obviously) his birth. She's happy that we stuck it out for 6 years and that it was worth it. Then we got into her wants. She wants to take a vacation to Maui ( and stay at some hotel her friend told her about). She wants to begin looking for a condo in Chicago( just for weekends. My guess is so she can shop). I told her that she " had very expensive tastes". Her response was that I " have to keep her well kept". I jokingly said that my father told me that over spoiling a woman is bad news. She told me that, because she's my wife, " She deserves spoiling" and spent the rest of the night researching condos.


OMG! Did this not disgust you? Did this not just make you mad as hell? Did you not find it absolutely ridiculous that your manipulative selfish wife had the audacity to bring up going to Hawaii and buying a condo when she treats you like a doormat and shows you no respect?
 
Old 08-05-2013, 10:02 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 755,485 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet*Tea View Post
[/b]

OMG! Did this not disgust you?
It did make me mad. I feel as though, aside from material things, I spoil her in better ways. I spoil her with affection and attention and things like that.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 10:05 PM
 
Location: here
24,841 posts, read 30,928,546 times
Reputation: 32481
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
It did make me mad. I feel as though, aside from material things, I spoil her in better ways. I spoil her with affection and attention and things like that.
So you said what?

You 2 obviously have different views of how a marriage should be. The problem is, you've been catering to her way for the last 20 years.
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