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Took time tonight to get to know his girlfriend a little better. Not the most goal oriented girl but I was pleasantly surprised and she seems nice enough. She reminds me of my wife at that age.
Took time tonight to get to know his girlfriend a little better. Not the most goal oriented girl but I was pleasantly surprised and she seems nice enough. She reminds me of my wife at that age.
We did our session and our early lunch/late breakfast . We talked about him going to CC in the fall and then pursuing the Journalism degree after CC. I was sure he'd complain during our talk about getting a job and starting to pay for his own stuff( but still living at home) and helping out around the house. He was mature about the whole thing and I'm impressed that he handled it the way he did. As usual when we got home, she was so excited to see him, get him on the couch, and ask him what we talked about and as usual he responded with " sports". He did his usual fake yawn to get her off his back before his fake nap. Before he got to his room( I was behind them walking to my room), she told him( right so I could hear it), "you know, it's a shame that counseling is so early. It's summer, this is when you should get to be lazy and sleep. I'm sorry your dad does this to you". He just told her he didn't mind counseling and closed the door.
I asked her to not bash me if front of him and to not drag him into our situation. *eye roll* Eventually an argument started and she started sobbing a little( as horrible as this sounds, I think they were fake)told me that " the old you would've comforted me and apologized". I told her that the old her wouldn't have insulted me. Rather than lock herself away, she told me I was incorrigible and that I should stay on MY side of the room. This is easily crazier than locking herself away.
We did our session and our early lunch/late breakfast . We talked about him going to CC in the fall and then pursuing the Journalism degree after CC. I was sure he'd complain during our talk about getting a job and starting to pay for his own stuff( but still living at home) and helping out around the house. He was mature about the whole thing and I'm impressed that he handled it the way he did. As usual when we got home, she was so excited to see him, get him on the couch, and ask him what we talked about and as usual he responded with " sports". He did his usual fake yawn to get her off his back before his fake nap. Before he got to his room( I was behind them walking to my room), she told him( right so I could hear it), "you know, it's a shame that counseling is so early. It's summer, this is when you should get to be lazy and sleep. I'm sorry your dad does this to you". He just told her he didn't mind counseling and closed the door.
I asked her to not bash me if front of him and to not drag him into our situation. *eye roll* Eventually an argument started and she started sobbing a little( as horrible as this sounds, I think they were fake)told me that " the old you would've comforted me and apologized". I told her that the old her wouldn't have insulted me. Rather than lock herself away, she told me I was incorrigible and that I should stay on MY side of the room. This is easily crazier than locking herself away.
Sounds like your son is doing well with counseling. It's a shame he has to fake out his mom. And "i'm sorry your dad does this to you???" Holy crap, she is quite the b**** isn't she? That's just wrong. Your son sounds like he is handling himself well, and I truly hope he keeps moving forward.
And you KNOW the tears were fake. She's going to get just a little crazier each time to try to get you back where she wants you. Stay strong, and continue the work on the relationship with your son. And continue counseling. Good luck!
We did our session and our early lunch/late breakfast . We talked about him going to CC in the fall and then pursuing the Journalism degree after CC. I was sure he'd complain during our talk about getting a job and starting to pay for his own stuff( but still living at home) and helping out around the house. He was mature about the whole thing and I'm impressed that he handled it the way he did. As usual when we got home, she was so excited to see him, get him on the couch, and ask him what we talked about and as usual he responded with " sports". He did his usual fake yawn to get her off his back before his fake nap. Before he got to his room( I was behind them walking to my room), she told him( right so I could hear it), "you know, it's a shame that counseling is so early. It's summer, this is when you should get to be lazy and sleep. I'm sorry your dad does this to you". He just told her he didn't mind counseling and closed the door.
I asked her to not bash me if front of him and to not drag him into our situation. *eye roll* Eventually an argument started and she started sobbing a little( as horrible as this sounds, I think they were fake)told me that " the old you would've comforted me and apologized". I told her that the old her wouldn't have insulted me. Rather than lock herself away, she told me I was incorrigible and that I should stay on MY side of the room. This is easily crazier than locking herself away.
Here is a funny question for you. Your son is 18. You've made steps on a healthy relationship with him which was the original cause of your post. He is going to land on his feet.
I wonder if it is possible for your wife to make the changes that you seek. Would negotiating going back to the old psychosis with your wife work for you from a relationship standpoint? Just a thought.
She's dead serious about this " staying on your side of the room". I was laying on the bed, on my laptop trying to get some work and I noticed some of my clothes were on the floor( on what is considered the left side of the room or her side) I was picking them up to throw them in the laundry basket and she walked in on me and got pretty PO'd " What are you doing on my side?" " I was just picking up some clothes" " And who's side of the room are they on?" " Yours" " Then I'll get them and you focus on staying on your side" then she left. What does she hope to accomplish with "sides" we're still communicating.
She's dead serious about this " staying on your side of the room". I was laying on the bed, on my laptop trying to get some work and I noticed some of my clothes were on the floor( on what is considered the left side of the room or her side) I was picking them up to throw them in the laundry basket and she walked in on me and got pretty PO'd " What are you doing on my side?" " I was just picking up some clothes" " And who's side of the room are they on?" " Yours" " Then I'll get them and you focus on staying on your side" then she left. What does she hope to accomplish with "sides" we're still communicating.
when she mentions "your side of the room," tell her "whichever side I happen to be on in any point in time is my side." Or a simple, "what are you, 15? Grow up."
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