Study of "Tiger Mothers" Shows Kids Don't Fare Well (method, parents)

[ukiyo-e]

When Ms. Chua's book came out, it reminded me of some of the stressed out Asian kids my son went to school with in our former college town. When my son was in 7th grade, he came home one day with a 97 on an English term paper, and said he felt bad for his Chinese friend because he had gotten a 93 and said his parents were going to be very disappointed and angry with him. I told my son I was happy that he got good grades, but that it had to come from his own motivation and sense of accomplishment, not to please his parents. I had one of those mothers who, if I got a 99 on an exam, said, "Why didn't you get 100?" All it did was stress me out about school and I began aiming for grades rather than knowledge for its own sake.

"Tiger Mom” study shows the parenting method doesn’t work. - Slate Magazine

I'm glad to see some hard data showing that pushing your kids like that does a lot of emotional and psychological damage. This is different, of course, than dealing with a child who is underachieving out of laziness. I'm talking about high achievers who are pushed and held to ever-higher standards and of whom perfection is expected and demanded.

[malamute]

I like your point about "aiming for grades rather than knowledge for it's own sake".

Sometimes it's actually better to think outside the box. Thinking outside the box doesn't get you the perfect grades however.

[lurtsman]

I find lazy to be a much more common status for a child than high achiever.

[totsuka]

I read the book but wondered about the time schedule for her kids. She "taught" at Yale, but I would suspect she just did a drive by on her students.

[Beankeeper]

I think pretty much any parenting style taken to the extreme has a good chance of failing.