U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,490 posts, read 4,058,846 times
Reputation: 3234

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodSchoolols View Post
Your kids should not sleep in your bed at ANY age. Not newborn, not 2, not 12, not 20!
I disagree with this statement. I have great memories of snuggling with my kids in our big bed and then falling asleep with them next to me. Didn't happen often, but those are good memories. Remembering waking up the next morning to them snoring with tousled hair, drooling on dad's pillow makes me smile even now.

Kid need all the security they can get through the early years. If climbing in next to Mom once in awhile gives them comfort...what's the harm?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:19 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,934 posts, read 3,910,714 times
Reputation: 11071
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Why? Are boys not entitled to feel fear? Are boys not in need of comfort?
I guess a switch flips at the age of three, but only in boys.

How odd.

This is purely a cultural thing; in many cultures, children sleep with their parents. In the United States, many don't, but many do. There are a lot of people who subscribe to the family bed.

In the end, who cares? No one will graduate from high school still sleeping in mama's bed. Whether they're two, six, nine, twelve when they move into their own rooms, what difference does it make? And the OP was only talking about occasional sleepovers, not even every night.

In the grand scheme of things, this is such a non-issue.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:19 PM
 
66 posts, read 124,019 times
Reputation: 73
What about a 10/11/12 year old girl with mom or dad or both?

I don't like the idea one bit on any side of the equation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,121 posts, read 23,710,966 times
Reputation: 37813
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
I don't need to know the specifics. A boy, over three should not sleep with his mother.

There is NO EXCUSE!
Well, I obviously blew it then. I can't recall specifics but I've no doubt that my son occasionally slept in my bed past the age of 3 for a variety of reasons. At some point, he stopped wanting to do that. And he grew up just fine. No Oedipal complex or maladjustment of any kind - (other than what simply comes with the territory of being a 20 yr old ). Who knew I did it ALL WRONG? Thanks for enlightening me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,490 posts, read 4,058,846 times
Reputation: 3234
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
I don't need to know the specifics. A boy, over three should not sleep with his mother.

There is NO EXCUSE!
Why? Are you putting a weird sexual orientation on a 4 year old boy sleeping with Mom? What about a girl sleeping with Mom at age 4? Is that ok to you? I find the gender specific / age specific response odd...

None of us are making "excuses" (odd choice of words...and an "!" even)...my children were welcome to snuggle in my bed if they needed the extra comfort or reassurance. No excuses needed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:25 PM
 
3,279 posts, read 4,239,732 times
Reputation: 6149
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodschoolols View Post
your kids should not sleep in your bed at any age. Not newborn, not 2, not 12, not 20!
+1
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
1,105 posts, read 2,997,243 times
Reputation: 2116
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
If he doesn't grow out of it or if there develops a rivalry between father and son, I would be concerned. I would never of had my sons sleep at that age sleep in the bed with me. Hopefully she is well covered while sleeping with the child. Sorry but I see an "ick" factor here. I wonder if this is for the boy or for the mother. Breasts are breasts and such despite on whom they appear.
Breasts are breasts despite on whom they appear? Are you insinuating that the son may view his mother sexually if he sees her breasts? If so, that's ridiculous. Mom is mom to children, not a sexual being, breasts or no breasts.
Children sleeping in the same bed with their parents has nothing what so ever to so with sex. Moderator Cut.

Last edited by Jaded; 05-31-2013 at 02:03 AM.. Reason: Flaming
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,490 posts, read 4,058,846 times
Reputation: 3234
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyCantI View Post
What about a 10/11/12 year old girl with mom or dad or both?

I don't like the idea one bit on any side of the equation.
Again, I wonder what's going through your mind when you picture an 11 year old coming into her parent's bedroom after a nightmare? No one is naked, no one is doing anything inappropriate. What you have is a CHILD needing reassurance and comfort...this is the same kid who needed hugs for a stubbed toe just a couple years ago. I never had a problem scooting over to give one of my kiddos a chunk of pillow and a place to sleep.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Warren, OH
2,747 posts, read 3,441,883 times
Reputation: 6481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Why? Are boys not entitled to feel fear? Are boys not in need of comfort?
Of course not! You have me all wrong! Comfort is a great thing, Fears and tears are a normal part of childhood.

But a girl of that age sleeping with dad - or the other way around, is not right. It also may be illegal or cause for a child protective investigation.

In my former state, brothers and sisters over 9 could not even share a room!

I am being realistic here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2013, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,121 posts, read 23,710,966 times
Reputation: 37813
Quote:
Originally Posted by warren zee View Post
Of course not! You have me all wrong! Comfort is a great thing, Fears and tears are a normal part of childhood.

But a girl of that age sleeping with dad - or the other way around, is not right. It also may be illegal or cause for a child protective investigation.

In my former state, brothers and sisters over 9 could not even share a room!

I am being realistic here.

Oh please.... no one is calling CPS because a 5/7 yo boy crawls into bed with his mom (or a girl with her dad) after a nightmare.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top