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If he doesn't grow out of it or if there develops a rivalry between father and son, I would be concerned. I would never of had my sons sleep at that age sleep in the bed with me. Hopefully she is well covered while sleeping with the child. Sorry but I see an "ick" factor here. I wonder if this is for the boy or for the mother. Breasts are breasts and such despite on whom they appear.
If he doesn't grow out of it or if there develops a rivalry between father and son, I would be concerned. I would never of had my sons sleep at that age sleep in the bed with me. Hopefully she is well covered while sleeping with the child. Sorry but I see an "ick" factor here. I wonder if this is for the boy or for the mother. Breasts are breasts and such despite on whom they appear.
Yes breasts are breasts whoever they appear on but whats your point? Pretty sure my brother still came to sauna with me and my mum when he was 8 or 9 and we were all naked there.
Taking the long view...
looking at my Godson, child of two close friends who got a divorce.
Boy slept in his mom's bed after the divorce until he was almost 12.
He is now 32 and majorly screwed up.
He recently got married. Mama controlled the entire ceremony. The boy has not "individuated" - ie created a separate identity from his mom. He is estranged from his father, whom he considers a threat to his relationship with his mom. He married a woman who is the spitting image of his mother. To say Mama and new Wife don't get along is putting it mildly. They are tugging at this poor sap and he's even more messed up than he was. IMHO sleeping with mama started this whole mess. Certainly there are other factors, but that's a strong one. She never got into any relationships at all while he was at home... why should she? She had him to cuddle up to. Bizarre behavior for a grown woman as well...
Children need to learn to sleep alone.
The parents need to NOT encourage children sleeping in the parent's beds after they are toddlers.
Parents need Parent time. That bed is for parents to bond and if a child thinks it's his/her bed as well, things could get awkward when parents need that intimate time.
Children need to find their own strength and individual personalities in order to grow into responsible, contributing adults. There is much science to back this up. Do a search on Co-sleeping, which is one of the "cool ideas that aren't so cool du jour" ... what I find interesting on such a search is that there's all this glory talk about how much bonding goes on... but then you see the question always pop up, "How do you get your kids to their own beds?"
IMHO a parent who encourages a child to snuggle overnight after a certain age is doing it for selfish reasons.
It's much harder to create self-discipline, self-reliance, and self-respect than it is to give into the whining and crying. Parents who forget that one of them is supposed to be the grownup do themselves and their children a huge disservice.
Taking the long view...
looking at my Godson, child of two close friends who got a divorce.
Boy slept in his mom's bed after the divorce until he was almost 12.
He is now 32 and majorly screwed up.
He recently got married. Mama controlled the entire ceremony. The boy has not "individuated" - ie created a separate identity from his mom. He is estranged from his father, whom he considers a threat to his relationship with his mom. He married a woman who is the spitting image of his mother. To say Mama and new Wife don't get along is putting it mildly. They are tugging at this poor sap and he's even more messed up than he was. IMHO sleeping with mama started this whole mess. Certainly there are other factors, but that's a strong one. She never got into any relationships at all while he was at home... why should she? She had him to cuddle up to. Bizarre behavior for a grown woman as well...
Children need to learn to sleep alone.
The parents need to NOT encourage children sleeping in the parent's beds after they are toddlers.
Parents need Parent time. That bed is for parents to bond and if a child thinks it's his/her bed as well, things could get awkward when parents need that intimate time.
Children need to find their own strength and individual personalities in order to grow into responsible, contributing adults. There is much science to back this up. Do a search on Co-sleeping, which is one of the "cool ideas that aren't so cool du jour" ... what I find interesting on such a search is that there's all this glory talk about how much bonding goes on... but then you see the question always pop up, "How do you get your kids to their own beds?"
IMHO a parent who encourages a child to snuggle overnight after a certain age is doing it for selfish reasons.
It's much harder to create self-discipline, self-reliance, and self-respect than it is to give into the whining and crying. Parents who forget that one of them is supposed to be the grownup do themselves and their children a huge disservice.
I'm not doubting your experience, but I think it's unusual.
Children often need comfort, even at 9, whether it be because of a thunderstorm, or a parent's absence. If it was still going on at the age of 12, there might be cause for concern, but not at the age the OP indicated.
Taking the long view...
looking at my Godson, child of two close friends who got a divorce.
Boy slept in his mom's bed after the divorce until he was almost 12.
He is now 32 and majorly screwed up.
Clearly there was more going on than an 11 year old sleeping in Mom's bed... I do not believe that a child would become "majorly screwed up" from the simple act of falling asleep next to their mother until they were almost 12.
As for the other poster that questioned how "covered up" Mom is because breasts are breasts... I would suspect that the Mom's who are comfortable with their children climbing in bed with them wear pajamas. I guess I would wonder about a parent sleeping nude with one of their older children in the bed.
I don't need to know the specifics. A boy, over three should not sleep with his mother.
There is NO EXCUSE!
Why? Are boys not entitled to feel fear? Are boys not in need of comfort?
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