Adult children who come home after college (or never go..) (lawyers, legal)
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Please tell what temp agency(s) you have hit up, because I have applied too many and no luck. Even the low level office jobs are a pain to get when the sheer number of applicants greatly outnumber the open positions. Yes a college degree open up doors if you major in the right thing. If the college grad with the anthropology degree is up against the college grad with the accounting degree both for the same temp position, guess who is going to get the call? 9 times out of 10 it will be the dude with the accounting degree. And yes even the accounting grad is applying for the low level stuff because it really is tough out there.
God forbid my parents drop dead tomorrow, I would first find a way to finish my BSN as I am 2 years away about to start clincals and very exicited. That would involve taking up more loans, looking for more scholarships, begging relatives etc... If that failed then I would apply for the various management programs, UPS, enterprise etc... that don't require a specific college degree and hopefully land one of those.
I don't know where you live. Where I am, there are many local and national temp agencies including Kelly, Randstadt, Robert Half, Office team, etc. I am in a major metropolitan area, so the choices where you are may be different or limited. We regularly use temps in my office for reception and admin duties, sometimes for accounting, facilities or office management. Each industry is different and opportunities may vary by geographic location.
In your case, it might make sense to move home if your parents live in a place that has more opportunites for work. If your college town was small and academically focused, it could inhbit your ability to find a job. I get where you are coming from, and I am not saying that kids who move back into the nest ALL do it for the wrong reasons or that ALL parents who accept their kids at home are mistaken in doing so.
But, as you stated, if you didn't have a safety net, you would find some way to do things on your own. And that is the point of the whole thread. The people in my family seem to be taking away the chance for their offspring to figure out their own way in life. Maybe this is a reciprocal arrangement-- the kids don't really care to figure this out, and the adults don't care to let them. I don't know.
As for the person who chooses to study anthropology, well, I studied film in college. I was told that it was a useless degree and it would never help me get a job. I took plenty of more general communication classes but I wanted (and was DETERMINED) to break into the film industry. This was a pie in the sky dream that a lot of people laughed it in my old 'hood. I didn't even tell certain people because I knew what the reaction would be. But I managed to build a career. My degree didn't hurt, but it wasn't as valuable as the experience I gained. In the beginning I did work in my field for free, and had paid employment in areas with no connection to my chosen career. I took any production job, no matter how humble, when work on shoots was offered. I know there are other people like this out there.
My neighbor's son is 25 and has a master's degree in sociology from a good school. He refuses to work unless its in his field and worthy of this degree. Truly, he does apply for jobs. He thinks his education qualifies him. But because the field is packed with people with education AND experience, he gets passed over again and again. His mother has suggested that he take work anywhere and volunteer to gain experience for his resume. This suggestion is rebutted. He continues to live at home and apply. He isn't a bad person, but from my perspective, his expectations are unrealistic. His mother financed his education and is overtaxed with his presence at home. But she subscribes to the "he needs my help! He is my child and I have to support him!" philosophy.
I see this kind of thing happening all around me. Hence this thread.
My family is rife with adult children (nieces, nephews, cousins) who either come home after college and work a part time job while sponging off their parents or adult kids who don't go to college and live at home with or without a job.
This floors me as my siblings and I were raised to be very independent. I don't quite understand how the same people I grew up with now let their kids be so useless.
There is no reason for it. Nothing is wrong with any of these kids. I have one nephew who is going to college this fall and he says he "may not bother to look" for a summer job because he is "leaving in August." Uhhh, yeah. That is what is called a SUMMER job. And my niece is 25 and has only had a job for a few weeks at a time. She goes EVERYWHERE with her mom and is spoiled rotten. I often have to remind myself how old she is because I literally see her as being 12 or 13 due to her behavior and level of independence.
I was grousing about this to a friend who says his youngest sister just graduated from college and has no plans to get an apartment or do anything other than move home with her mom. Is this a generational thing that I just don't get? I am 36, so not that old, but seriously, I do not understand.
I think the real problem is, many recent college grads aren't landing good jobs, which help them become independent. I recall, around a little over a decade ago, when I graduated from college, I moved back home, but I was only there for six months. While I lived at home, I worked tirelessly to not only find employment, but a great job that had excellent benefits, a livable solid salary and good training for future career mobility.
My very first apt was in NYC, where my job was located. I worked very hard and even decided to go back to school, to ensure that my earnings and overall career outlook improved. I have never needed to return back home.
As a result of the economy, many of the current recent grads however, do not really have the same entry level professional opportunities, which were available a decade ago. Only the best among them will land good jobs, or start their own ventures. This means unfortunately that the average college graduate (which accounts for well over 60%) will need to move back home with their parents and probably accept unpaid internships, while they look for gainful full-time employment within their field.
I don't know where you live. Where I am, there are many local and national temp agencies including Kelly, Randstadt, Robert Half, Office team, etc. I am in a major metropolitan area, so the choices where you are may be different or limited. We regularly use temps in my office for reception and admin duties, sometimes for accounting, facilities or office management. Each industry is different and opportunities may vary by geographic location.
In your case, it might make sense to move home if your parents live in a place that has more opportunites for work. If your college town was small and academically focused, it could inhbit your ability to find a job. I get where you are coming from, and I am not saying that kids who move back into the nest ALL do it for the wrong reasons or that ALL parents who accept their kids at home are mistaken in doing so.
But, as you stated, if you didn't have a safety net, you would find some way to do things on your own. And that is the point of the whole thread. The people in my family seem to be taking away the chance for their offspring to figure out their own way in life. Maybe this is a reciprocal arrangement-- the kids don't really care to figure this out, and the adults don't care to let them. I don't know.
As for the person who chooses to study anthropology, well, I studied film in college. I was told that it was a useless degree and it would never help me get a job. I took plenty of more general communication classes but I wanted (and was DETERMINED) to break into the film industry. This was a pie in the sky dream that a lot of people laughed it in my old 'hood. I didn't even tell certain people because I knew what the reaction would be. But I managed to build a career. My degree didn't hurt, but it wasn't as valuable as the experience I gained. In the beginning I did work in my field for free, and had paid employment in areas with no connection to my chosen career. I took any production job, no matter how humble, when work on shoots was offered. I know there are other people like this out there.
My neighbor's son is 25 and has a master's degree in sociology from a good school. He refuses to work unless its in his field and worthy of this degree. Truly, he does apply for jobs. He thinks his education qualifies him. But because the field is packed with people with education AND experience, he gets passed over again and again. His mother has suggested that he take work anywhere and volunteer to gain experience for his resume. This suggestion is rebutted. He continues to live at home and apply. He isn't a bad person, but from my perspective, his expectations are unrealistic. His mother financed his education and is overtaxed with his presence at home. But she subscribes to the "he needs my help! He is my child and I have to support him!" philosophy.
I see this kind of thing happening all around me. Hence this thread.
The 25 year old story, I know that all too well. I was that for a little while and I have/had friends who where like that as well. I understand why, you spent 4years, studying something you love it is only naturally to want to work in that field. Then to graduate and not find work in it, has to be the most frustrating thing in the world. I understand it sucks it bloody sucks, but you know what being unemployed sucks more and the longer you are out of work, generally the harder it is to find work. At most I would give the sociology major 1-2 maybe even 3 months of total devotion to finding a job within his field, baring that you have to work and or volunteer. And just because you are working minimum wage does not mean you have to stop looking for the sociology jobs.
Myself, prior to the summer months I applied to many paid internships, and office type work, I also applied to many non clinical hospital type work. Ideally I would love to spend the summer in a paid internship or a paid hospital position. Sadly the interviews that I did get for office work demanded at least a 6 month full time commitment and with a full schedule for the fall semester there is no way I could do it, short of dropping out of school. This Monday I am going to Target for an interview, if I fail the target interview I will then be hitting up the fast food for work-not exactly how I want to spend my summer off before clinical start. But to be employed somewhere, doing something is better than staying at home.
Another story. My cousin graduated with an Assosciates in Computer information systems. He looked for a real job where he could use his degree. No luck, he is now working at Wendy's and looking for the "real" job on his off time. Clearly Wendy's was not his goal post college, but at the very least it is something to put on the resume. That is what you need, you need that reference, even if it is Wendy's, you need the work experience on the resume.
I feel for the kid, I really do, you worked hard, you studied, you are more than willing to start at bottom of the barrel, but when you can't get the entry level job- it blows I know. But you have to get something. If the employer is looking at the 25 year old with a degree but unemployed since college vs the 25 year old with a degree who has being working at Stop and Shop until he can get a "real" job- more than likely the employer will call back the 25 year old with the work experience. Yes your goal post college was not stop and shop or blockbuster or whatever minimum wage, I get that, no one goes to college with the goal of working in minimum wage, but dam you need something.
What I would recommend to the 25 year old is apply to the temp agencies, apply for the office work, apply to something outside your field. If you can afford to do so there are decent unpaid internships out there. If no luck on the temp work, the office work and the internships, then start going retail. Your resume falls behind so quickly when you have extended gaps of unemployment.
I take no pleasure in working at Target or Burger King for the summer, but you have to do what you have to do. I sincerely hope the 25 year old son gets it together soon, I understand the pain and frustration, I really do man, but at this moment, at this point, you need something anything, you need work.
I came home for about a year after college. The long story short is that I graduated in May 2002. The economy was terrible then and I was only able to find part time work in retail at first. About a year later I was married and then moved in my new wife into an apartment. Finding an apartment short term would have been very difficult and impractical.
The 25 year old story, I know that all too well. I was that for a little while and I have/had friends who where like that as well. I understand why, you spent 4years, studying something you love it is only naturally to want to work in that field. Then to graduate and not find work in it, has to be the most frustrating thing in the world. I understand it sucks it bloody sucks, but you know what being unemployed sucks more and the longer you are out of work, generally the harder it is to find work. At most I would give the sociology major 1-2 maybe even 3 months of total devotion to finding a job within his field, baring that you have to work and or volunteer. And just because you are working minimum wage does not mean you have to stop looking for the sociology jobs.
My wife went through this. We moved to California and she had degrees in Communications and English. That got her a job as a bank teller. She happened to be standing in line at a different bank and the lady behind her started talking with her and hired her by the time they got to the front of the line. Then she traded up to a bank teller at a business bank (less/no stress, slightly better pay). Then she got a job as an accounts payable clerk for a major developer. I forget what was next, but it was utterly unrelated to her degrees. Then as the evangelism director for our church (first job she liked). then substitute teaching and finally as an assistant librarian (which she loves). None were jobs she ever would have imagined having or wanting when she got her degrees. She never specifically used her degrees at all and probably never will. however they provided a good general education that helped her obtain and excel in all of those positions even though they had nothing to do with what she studied.
Another friend majored in Business. That ended up with a job as a boat captain, followed by a sales job selling space in containers on ships and finally as a salesman for a medical supply company.
Another friend majored in history and became a carpenter. (He builds high end cabinets and entertainment centers in people's homes).
A friend who majored in Biology started her own business selling guns.
Aside form people who went to law school, I am not sure I know anyone working in their major field. (Even some of my law school buddies - one is a cartoonist, and another is a composer).
My family is rife with adult children (nieces, nephews, cousins) who either come home after college and work a part time job while sponging off their parents or adult kids who don't go to college and live at home with or without a job.
This floors me as my siblings and I were raised to be very independent. I don't quite understand how the same people I grew up with now let their kids be so useless.
There is no reason for it. Nothing is wrong with any of these kids. I have one nephew who is going to college this fall and he says he "may not bother to look" for a summer job because he is "leaving in August." Uhhh, yeah. That is what is called a SUMMER job. And my niece is 25 and has only had a job for a few weeks at a time. She goes EVERYWHERE with her mom and is spoiled rotten. I often have to remind myself how old she is because I literally see her as being 12 or 13 due to her behavior and level of independence.
I was grousing about this to a friend who says his youngest sister just graduated from college and has no plans to get an apartment or do anything other than move home with her mom. Is this a generational thing that I just don't get? I am 36, so not that old, but seriously, I do not understand.
I think your family has set a precedent and everyone is following suit. It starts in the home and you need to establish what is an acceptable culture! These kids should be hungry to work, not mootch. I've always hustled my whole life, especially in college to find a job post-graduation.
My wife went through this. We moved to California and she had degrees in Communications and English. That got her a job as a bank teller. She happened to be standing in line at a different bank and the lady behind her started talking with her and hired her by the time they got to the front of the line. Then she traded up to a bank teller at a business bank (less/no stress, slightly better pay). Then she got a job as an accounts payable clerk for a major developer. I forget what was next, but it was utterly unrelated to her degrees. Then as the evangelism director for our church (first job she liked). then substitute teaching and finally as an assistant librarian (which she loves). None were jobs she ever would have imagined having or wanting when she got her degrees. She never specifically used her degrees at all and probably never will. however they provided a good general education that helped her obtain and excel in all of those positions even though they had nothing to do with what she studied.
Another friend majored in Business. That ended up with a job as a boat captain, followed by a sales job selling space in containers on ships and finally as a salesman for a medical supply company.
Another friend majored in history and became a carpenter. (He builds high end cabinets and entertainment centers in people's homes).
A friend who majored in Biology started her own business selling guns.
Aside form people who went to law school, I am not sure I know anyone working in their major field. (Even some of my law school buddies - one is a cartoonist, and another is a composer).
This! I was thinking of how to say this, and you beat me to it.
Few people I know are doing what their high school or college selves set out to do. Sometimes the most valuable skill learned in college is flexibility.
Its great to stick to a goal or a dream but sometimes this becomes untenable. In my own college experience, we were really pumped up by the school to think that we were special due to our great education and that employers would be falling all over themselves to hire us to theorize and lead. This was not even close to being the case.
This is where parents need to come in and help define what is realistic. Set time limits on job searching for an obscure or overcrowded field. And though job hunts can become job-like, taking up a good portion of the seeker's time, taking something to get out of the house and make contacts is equally as valuable as sitting in front of a computer all day emailing resumes.
This is where parents need to come in and help define what is realistic. Set time limits on job searching for an obscure or overcrowded field. And though job hunts can become job-like, taking up a good portion of the seeker's time, taking something to get out of the house and make contacts is equally as valuable as sitting in front of a computer all day emailing resumes.
This sounds like a mixed message to me. Once the child has graduated, it's up to them how to make their degree work. If parents are to be involved, it should be at the time the major is chosen. When my sons declared, I asked them what the major meant in terms of future job opportunities. The eldest found a job in his field easily, and the other two have internships that hopefully will lead to the same.
A lot of the comments on here are blaming the parents, when in reality, all we are doing is supporting the goals of our children.
This sounds like a mixed message to me. Once the child has graduated, it's up to them how to make their degree work. If parents are to be involved, it should be at the time the major is chosen. When my sons declared, I asked them what the major meant in terms of future job opportunities. The eldest found a job in his field easily, and the other two have internships that hopefully will lead to the same.
A lot of the comments on here are blaming the parents, when in reality, all we are doing is supporting the goals of our children.
If a child chooses a degree that the parent knows has poor job prospects, why would they then allow the child to live at home once it is verified that yes, those job prospects are in fact, poor? I doubt that many on here would advocate for not paying for a college education if their child sincerely desired to study a field that was not sought after.
My wife went through this. We moved to California and she had degrees in Communications and English. That got her a job as a bank teller. She happened to be standing in line at a different bank and the lady behind her started talking with her and hired her by the time they got to the front of the line. Then she traded up to a bank teller at a business bank (less/no stress, slightly better pay). Then she got a job as an accounts payable clerk for a major developer. I forget what was next, but it was utterly unrelated to her degrees. Then as the evangelism director for our church (first job she liked). then substitute teaching and finally as an assistant librarian (which she loves). None were jobs she ever would have imagined having or wanting when she got her degrees. She never specifically used her degrees at all and probably never will. however they provided a good general education that helped her obtain and excel in all of those positions even though they had nothing to do with what she studied.
Another friend majored in Business. That ended up with a job as a boat captain, followed by a sales job selling space in containers on ships and finally as a salesman for a medical supply company.
Another friend majored in history and became a carpenter. (He builds high end cabinets and entertainment centers in people's homes).
A friend who majored in Biology started her own business selling guns.
Aside form people who went to law school, I am not sure I know anyone working in their major field. (Even some of my law school buddies - one is a cartoonist, and another is a composer).
Do you mind if I ask how did your wife get a bank teller position? Did she go in person, do it online, knew someone already working at a bank? I have applied numerous times to Teller positions because I figure it would be the perfect summer job and no luck at all, to their credit at least the banks are timely in rejecting you.
But you are right it seems rare these days that people actually end up doing what they studied. Which may explain the trend I see in most college students:
1)Majoring in a narrow field- i.e... accounting to be an accountant, nursing to be a nurse etc...
2) Going back to school for a higher degree, often (but not always) in a field unrelated to the first degree. Accelerated Nursing, Masters in accountancy etc...
3)Law school
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