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My son had a tantrum in the local Christmas Tree Shop once when he was 2. I left my cart where it was and we went home. I don't tollerate the behavior at home or out in public. I dont spank my son, we sit him in a time out with him on our laps and wait for him to finish. Then he must apologize for his behavior. If he doesn't calm down, we wait longer. It's worked since he was about 9 months old when he learned to walk.
I would not let the behavior continue in the mall. I agree with ignoring it, but if there is screaming at the top of his lungs, we're gone! As hubby says, we go home, no witnesses! (just kidding!)
I have to say, some public behaviour I see (and tolerated by passive parents) is offensive and, to say the least, a sad commentary. Don't parents teach their 5-15 year olds how to behave in public anymore?
good post.
you got rep.
i don't speak for the world but i do live in california, a very pretty place by the way.
who said the offensive behavior stops at 16?
whatever is happening 5 to 15 will keep on happening.
people dont "raise" kids here, they "have" them. they "have" boats, dvd, bmw, jaccuzi, club med, pets, RV, they "have" things. they are not committed to these things and assume no real invovement in them.
its a consumer society. its a throw away society. the parents spend very little time with the kids.
they are working getting more money so they can "have" more.
when they get tired of something they throw it away.that is why pets get killed a lot on hwy 805. that is why we got gangs. why we got child prostitution (run aways actually throw aways). that is why we got so much divorce. throw away cans throw away plates. throw away pets, throw away kids, throw away hubbies (divorce).
we are not treating each other very well are well, are we? you are right it starts with the kids.
wow i think i said enough, i dont know about you, but i need a cup of coffee.
good post.
you got rep.
i don't speak for the world but i do live in california, a very pretty place by the way.
who said the offensive behavior stops at 16?
whatever is happening 5 to 15 will keep on happening.
people dont "raise" kids here, they "have" them. they "have" boats, dvd, bmw, jaccuzi, club med, pets, RV, they "have" things. they are not committed to these things and assume no real invovement in them.
its a consumer society. its a throw away society. the parents spend very little time with the kids.
they are working getting more money so they can "have" more.
when they get tired of something they throw it away.that is why pets get killed a lot on hwy 805. that is why we got gangs. why we got child prostitution (run aways actually throw aways). that is why we got so much divorce. throw away cans throw away plates. throw away pets, throw away kids, throw away hubbies (divorce).
we are not treating each other very well are well, are we? you are right it starts with the kids.
wow i think i said enough, i dont know about you, but i need a cup of coffee.
I agree, but what should they do? Can't spank a kid in public anymore, someone will call the cops on you. When does yelling ever work?
You grab them firmly by their arm and give them "THE LOOK" and speak directly to them and very stern. "I will not tolerate this behaviour, you better straighten up and behave or else I will take you in the restroom and spank you". This works wonders for parents that do not "play". Of course if your child doesn't take you seriously and you're a push-over, you might have to end up resorting to showing you're serious, by visiting that public restroom for a swat on the behind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aomething
When I was growing up, my pre school teacher had a hugh impact on how I behaved. She expected good manners and everyone knew in town who had been to her school and who had not gone to pre school, just from the kids who had good manners in Kindergarten. We were taught to respect our elders.
I recently saw this teacher and I still called her, Mrs. _____. I am 36 years old and have a child of my own. He heard me, and asked why I called her that, and I said because she was my teacher from school. He said, Oh okay.
I expect good manners from my son as well. Please and Thankyous are not hard to say. It's harder not to say them. Our big thing with him now is the back talk. He rides the bus with older kids to school and I think he's learning alot from there. He recently came home asking what the "F" word was. What do you say? So, we said it was Fiddlesticks. He accepted that. We'll see how long it lasts and he figures it out!!!???!!
Whenever I go back home to visit, I always run into my Kindergarten teacher and still call her Mrs. __________. She and her family are members' of my grandmothers' church. My daughter is amazed to know that Mommy had a Kindergarten teacher, LOL..............Anyway, respect and manners begin at home. My daughter calls every adult Mr. or Ms. whether it's our neighbors, our friends, etc. She answers "ma'am and sir" when being asked a question.
A couple of her friends tend to answer "what". I hate that with a passion and tell them right away - "you will not answer with the word what in my house". That is the most disrespectful response that could come out of a childs' mouth and any parent that allows that, ought to have his/her behind swatted one good time. If I ever thought to answer my mother, grandmother, great grands, or any elder with the word "what" - i would have swallowed my teeth.
You grab them firmly by their arm and give them "THE LOOK" and speak directly to them and very stern. "I will not tolerate this behaviour, you better straighten up and behave or else I will take you in the restroom and spank you". This works wonders for parents that do not "play". Of course if your child doesn't take you seriously and you're a push-over, you might have to end up resorting to showing you're serious, by visiting that public restroom for a swat on the behind.
Whenever I go back home to visit, I always run into my Kindergarten teacher and still call her Mrs. __________. She and her family are members' of my grandmothers' church. My daughter is amazed to know that Mommy had a Kindergarten teacher, LOL..............Anyway, respect and manners begin at home. My daughter calls every adult Mr. or Ms. whether it's our neighbors, our friends, etc. She answers "ma'am and sir" when being asked a question.
A couple of her friends tend to answer "what". I hate that with a passion and tell them right away - "you will not answer with the word what in my house". That is the most disrespectful response that could come out of a childs' mouth and any parent that allows that, ought to have his/her behind swatted one good time. If I ever thought to answer my mother, grandmother, great grands, or any elder with the word "what" - i would have swallowed my teeth.
Our family dinner time is our time together, so no TV or anything else to distract child from eating. We had our neighbor's son over for dinner one night last week (he's 9). We ate, and then our son asked for dessert. He's not allowed to leave the table when eating. The neighbor was eating dessert, he got up from the table and turned on the tv. I flipped out! I told him to please sit and eat and that we don't watch tv during our dinner time. He sat and was quiet after that. Again, manners start at home. Obvious he needs a new lesson!
I agree, but what should they do? Can't spank a kid in public anymore, someone will call the cops on you. When does yelling ever work?
If a child is having a tantrum rest assure hitting them at that moment will only make things worse, AND LOUDER!!!! Especially if they are in the public eye...oh, the drama! I have only had a few tantrums with my kids, but they know the drill. I find that getting down to their level when speaking to them helps. If all else fails I will take them away to the car or nearest restroom to get them calmed down. It never takes more than that for me.
Kids will fed off of your anger and they can smell your desperation and humiliation! Luckily this works for me but I am very consistent with my discipline. I never hesitate to stop things right where I am and regain control and I do not let tings slide just to avoid conflict. I nip it in the bud right then. I never have to scream at my kids or hit them.
We explained it in that way, because he was heard it on the bus and we weren't sure what the circumstances were that he heard it. Maybe next year we'll explain it in a different way. He's already asked about babies. Haven't touched that one yet either. If he's heard the the f word is different, he'll tell us. Until then, we'll just go with Fiddlesticks.
Of course you are not going to tell him what it really means! Give him a few more times of hearing it and he will figure it out on his own. I just told my daughter the other day when she said some kids were saying bad words on the bus that she shouldn't try to be like them and saying bad words is no way to be mature or grown up...of course she said "Then why does Daddy say them" LOL.........Oh well, I tried. At least we refrain from using the "F" word around them.
Of course you are not going to tell him what it really means! Give him a few more times of hearing it and he will figure it out on his own. I just told my daughter the other day when she said some kids were saying bad words on the bus that she shouldn't try to be like them and saying bad words is no way to be mature or grown up...of course she said "Then why does Daddy say them" LOL.........Oh well, I tried. At least we refrain from using the "F" word around them.
And that is when we roll our eyes and hope for the best!
True story: last Christmas we went to Hawaii. Two dining tables in an upscale restaurant were seated next to each other. One was a local, single mom with two daughters. The other was an American family (Mom and Dad),tourists with 4 kids.
The waiteress mentioned how rude the kids at the large table were, throwing food, yelling and running thru the restaurant-this went on for over an hour and the parents did nothing. They also spilled a plate full of food on the floor.
The single mom and her two daughters were quiet and polite-no drama.
IMO some American parents are indulgent and the kids grow up spoiled and selfish. And they do NOT learn how to act in public. This turns up later in the workplace- I have the misfortune to experience this in the workplace as I am a hiring manager- 18 year olds with filthy mouths, etc. It seems to be getting worse.
Last edited by dreamofmonterey; 11-08-2007 at 12:14 PM..
Reason: add
You grab them firmly by their arm and give them "THE LOOK" and speak directly to them and very stern. "I will not tolerate this behaviour, you better straighten up and behave or else I will take you in the restroom and spank you". This works wonders for parents that do not "play". Of course if your child doesn't take you seriously and you're a push-over, you might have to end up resorting to showing you're serious, by visiting that public restroom for a swat on the behind.
I agree with that, but I've heard horror stories of parents being arrested for doing that. I don't have kids yet but we're planning on some...soon...and I'd sort of like to know where I'd stand with public spanking.
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and tell them right away - "you will not answer with the word what in my house". That is the most disrespectful response that could come out of a childs' mouth and any parent that allows that, ought to have his/her behind swatted one good time. If I ever thought to answer my mother, grandmother, great grands, or any elder with the word "what" - i would have swallowed my teeth.
If a child is having a tantrum rest assure hitting them at that moment will only make things worse, AND LOUDER!!!! Especially if they are in the public eye...oh, the drama! I have only had a few tantrums with my kids, but they know the drill. I find that getting down to their level when speaking to them helps. If all else fails I will take them away to the car or nearest restroom to get them calmed down. It never takes more than that for me. 
