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Old 06-27-2013, 01:33 AM
 
2,214 posts, read 1,515,638 times
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Yea I did it when my now 9 year old was first born. His mother was working fulltime and going to college, so I had my son who was a baby at the time from 8am-10pm monday-friday by myself.

I'd love to be a SAHD, but I have to say that there's a double standard when it comes to men being the ones to stay at home. I personally feel like I was treated by my son's mother and viewed by everyone else like I was a bum who needed to find a job and pay for daycare...

I find that a lot of women and society are hypocritical, and do not like the idea of have to support a SAHD.
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Old 06-27-2013, 01:49 AM
 
2,214 posts, read 1,515,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus View Post
If that is your concept of what parenting involves then it can only be from lack of experience on the matter - and if that is how you would parent a child I can only hope that you never have one.



You appear to be attracting some pretty awful women then and I do not think your sample set is representative at all. I think most PEOPLE (not splitting this into women and men) when they get together - and have children - simply want to do whatever is best to financially support the family unit as a whole - regardless of which (or both) parents this means have to go into the work force in their particular case.

The decision to be (or not be) a SAHD should be based on what is best for the whole family - not what sex each person happens to be.
I believe his "sample set" is representative of a LOT more than you care to admit or have witnessed. Yes, the decision should be based on what's best for the family, but I find that most people rather conform to traditional roles or what's socially accepted...

Also, I'm in the dating game now, and I have to agree that large majority of women HATE to have to go dutch, pay for a date, and/or spend any of their money.
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Old 07-01-2013, 04:17 PM
 
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DoniDanko, my husband experienced some of the same bias. It's ignorance, pure and simple. As folks got to know us, and our situation, the "he's just a bum" mentality lessened. But superficially, there are lots of times when people looked at him at the playgroup or the park and rolled their eyes.

It's sad, IMO, because there is nothing inherently female about caregiving that a man cannot do just as well, and better (or at least differently). Sure, moms have a bond with their babies. But so do dads. It's just a different bond.
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:55 AM
 
3,637 posts, read 2,791,065 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoniDanko View Post
I believe his "sample set" is representative of a LOT more than you care to admit or have witnessed.
Then give me a better sample set - as anecdote is going to get us nowhere. The thread is about whether one would or would not be a SAHD and I think you will find that many people would if that is what is best for their own family.

By all means what each of us _want_ should be _part_ of the decision. What is actually best for you and your families health, well being and future however is - for me - much more important. The least important factor in the decision for me is what sex each person in the equation happens to be.
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Old 07-07-2013, 04:35 PM
 
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I do it, and it can be challenging but I don't suspect those challenges have to do with my gender as much as the fact that it's tough to be with a toddler 24/7 man or woman. But I am grateful for the time I know not everybody gets it. One thing that I have found to be a barrier is that since I am a man a lot of "mommy playgroups" are closed to me. I got kicked out of a meetup group (lol) for being a guy when there was no gender stated in the group's description it was just a kids' playgroup in my area. I also feel like I do have to be a lot more conscious when we're out in public I can feel tension at times when other kids play with mine as if me taking my kid to the park is somehow "sketchy." So I definitely feel for the 21 year old guy who wants to be an au pair. I've tried to get "nanny" jobs that would allow me to make some extra cash since I'm watching mine anyway and no dice.
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