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If I was worried about my kids behaving poorly, I wouldn't leave them. But, parties for infants and toddlers are a different story from those held for school-aged children.
We had lots of birthday parties among our three. The ones held outside the home were by far the easiest ones to control. I neither required nor expected parents to remain at the scene, I was paying the business to provide a safe, enjoyable way of entertaining the kids.
If I was expected to stick around at every birthday party my kids attended, they would have turned down a lot of those invites. Sometimes it made sense to stay. If it was a 2 hour party, 30 minutes from home, then yes, I will stay close by.
If you don't expect to be able to control the children invited, then you either invited too many, didn't enlist enough help, or thought a large group of kids would be able to entertain themselves safely on their own.
So your kids have never misbehaved? No one expects their children to behave poorly, hopefully we've taught them better than that. But at a party with a lot of kids, fun, and action, kids are generally going to follow the flow of the mob, and let's all just hope their self-designated leader is a good kid!
So your kids have never misbehaved? No one expects their children to behave poorly, hopefully we've taught them better than that. But at a party with a lot of kids, fun, and action, kids are generally going to follow the flow of the mob, and let's all just hope their self-designated leader is a good kid!
You say that as though well-behaved children are the exception. In my experience, they are the rule. And no, my kids never misbehaved when they were guests under any circumstances. They even made sure to thank their host/hostess at the end of the party (sometimes with a reminder from me, I'll admit).
If you are holding a party outside the home, then there really shouldn't be any mob rule. If there was, I'd blame the establishment for losing control, not the kids.
But at a party with a lot of kids, fun, and action, kids are generally going to follow the flow of the mob, and let's all just hope their self-designated leader is a good kid!
Uh, no.
We had "a lot of kids, fun, and action" and never had mob rule!
Well, I'll preface this by saying I would never invite 17 kids to a 5 year old's BD party, so....
For our kids' 5th BDs, they invited 5 friends, and yes, the guests were dropped off by the parents.
No problem watching them.
That is the norm here.
I would never expect a parent, yet alone a sibling, to crash the party.
It seems to be different norms in different places -- I was used to kids' parties being for kids. I would prefer to just throw a party for the children.
Where I live now, it's more the norm to throw a party that includes adults which also means lots of free beer for them and food that adults also want. I definitely do not prefer that.
When our oldest son was 4, we had a party in the back yard, bounce house, games, the whole bit. To our surprise, many parents dropped off their kids, asked when it was over, and then took off with little warning. I think this is wrong on a number of levels...
1. Hosting a birthday party isn't an invitation for a free babysitter for an afternoon where your kid is fed and leaves with treats. I understand, espcially if you have other children, it's not always feasible to stay, but at least ask first.
2. 4 or 5 years old is way too young to leave your child at a birthday party. We had never met many of the parents who left, would you leave your 4 year old at, essentially, a stranger's house, outside with a bunch of other parents who you never met?
3. Even if I intended to leave my 4/5 yr old somewhere, if I saw 16 other children running around crazy, I would never leave them in that scenario. It's mass chaos, it's pretty much guaranteed your 4/5 yr old is going to be unsupervised a vast majority of the time. Hope they dont eat anything you dont know they're allergic too, or get trampled in the unsupervised bounce house.
We've seen parents leave their 5 yr olds at a birthday parties at the pool! Now that's crazy...
I think it's important nowadays for the host of the party to make it very clear on the invitations.
I've been to the parties where parents stay, they're often not doing much watching of their children and are really just one more burden on the host who has to make sure the adults are being entertained and getting enough beer.
If I gave a children's party, I would not want adults barging in on it, expecting food and beverages and someone to sit and chat with them.
I think the invitation can be written in such a way that it makes it clear which way the host wants it -- clearly invite the adults if you want them there, inform them upfront what you'll be providing them in the way of meal and beverages. Or invite the child, put down a drop off time and pick up time, make it clear you're throwing a children's party.
If you invite the adults, you can sometimes expect they'll also be bringing along the whole clan, grandparents, a couple aunts and uncles, and all their children and so you must plan on how you'll entertain all who come.
Of course, every kid is different so ymmv but when my oldest was 8, I could trust that she would follow directions, stay where she needed to be and she could borrow a parent's cell phone so that she could call me in case she needed anything. Also, it would depend on the party venue as well. I would never leave any child at any age at a bounce place without a parent (also goes for pool parties). However, if it is some place like Chuckie Cheese, then I am generally ok with it.
If I was worried about my kids behaving poorly, I wouldn't leave them. But, parties for infants and toddlers are a different story from those held for school-aged children.
We had lots of birthday parties among our three. The ones held outside the home were by far the easiest ones to control. I neither required nor expected parents to remain at the scene, I was paying the business to provide a safe, enjoyable way of entertaining the kids.
If I was expected to stick around at every birthday party my kids attended, they would have turned down a lot of those invites. Sometimes it made sense to stay. If it was a 2 hour party, 30 minutes from home, then yes, I will stay close by.
If you don't expect to be able to control the children invited, then you either invited too many, didn't enlist enough help, or thought a large group of kids would be able to entertain themselves safely on their own.
Yeah, but regardless of Age is up to parents to ensure they can leave their kids behind. The assumption, at least up until a certain age, is ask permission in this situation.
If its all 10 year olds. . .maybe the assumption changes.
Of course, every kid is different so ymmv but when my oldest was 8, I could trust that she would follow directions, stay where she needed to be and she could borrow a parent's cell phone so that she could call me in case she needed anything. Also, it would depend on the party venue as well. I would never leave any child at any age at a bounce place without a parent (also goes for pool parties). However, if it is some place like Chuckie Cheese, then I am generally ok with it.
Wait, nobody said without "a" parent. The host parents would be there of course.
I wonder what everyone thinks is going to happen if they leave. Of course there is always the chance of someone getting hurt, but that can happen anywhere, even at school. I generally stay close and keep my phone nearby.
All of these types of places make each parent sign a waiver when they arrive. The OP isn't going to be ultimately responsible for any injuries of any of the kids. I don't think it is a question of uninvited kids being left. The kids in question are invited.
IME the parents who stay do so because THEY feel more comfortable, not because the hosting parents want or need them there.
You say that as though well-behaved children are the exception. In my experience, they are the rule. And no, my kids never misbehaved when they were guests under any circumstances. They even made sure to thank their host/hostess at the end of the party (sometimes with a reminder from me, I'll admit).
If you are holding a party outside the home, then there really shouldn't be any mob rule. If there was, I'd blame the establishment for losing control, not the kids.
In my experience, the kids who behaved the worst were the ones whose moms ALWAYS dropped off because they 1) couldn't/didn't control their kids and 2) never passed up a chance to "get a break" from those kids.
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All of these types of places make each parent sign a waiver when they arrive. The OP isn't going to be ultimately responsible for any injuries of any of the kids. I don't think it is a question of uninvited kids being left. The kids in question are invited. 
