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Men in the past managed very well without it. I tried to hug my grandfather as a kid one day. He didn't say anything but his blue eyes turned ice cold. There's a fine line of respect that shouldn't be crossed.
I would respectfully submit that this kind of thing as well as what you have said about your father have made you a victim likely to repeat the abuse you suffered. In the absence of some help to attain a more healthy view of familial relationships, I am sorry to say that I suspect this will be repeated on your children.
Yes, it was always the father's role, a good beating.
I do not join in on this notion that there are gender roles and that disicipline and affection is proportioned out to the parents based on the contents of their underwear. There is no reason to think that any aspect of parenting is - or should be - the sole purview of either parent. Nor the nonsense notion that if one parent is doing X - the other should not.
I do not join in on this notion that there are gender roles and that disicipline and affection is proportioned out to the parents based on the contents of their underwear. There is no reason to think that any aspect of parenting is - or should be - the sole purview of either parent. Nor the nonsense notion that if one parent is doing X - the other should not.
Layman's terms, monumentus, layman's terms!
JayN, if the men are the only ones getting regular practice disciplining the child, and the women are the only ones getting practice nurturing the child...
what happens when/if one of the parents die, walk out, are drafted by the military, etc? The poor child will be left with a parent who knows exactly one-half of what the child needs to develop normally.
Of course, "a good beating" kind of tells me where the child's development ranks on your list of priorities, so perhaps I am wasting my time on you altogether...
I can understand why posters like JayN equate nurturing with babying however, just looking over this thread again. The vast majority of people here are flat-out saying "Naw! Shower your kid with affection as often as you like! There's no such thing as too much of it."
Well I consider this babying the child, even if they are becoming physically and cognitively independent, whether as a result of the parent's guidance or otherwise. That's because you can "baby" someone in many different ways, and sabotage the development of their emotional independence as easily as physical/cognitive. I consider giving them more than enough attention and affection babying them. And while I admit one can objectively measure levels of physical and cognitive independence more easily than emotional independence, we all know at least one person who seems to need more attention or more external regulation of their moods/emotions than what is typical, even if they've managed to hold things together in other aspects of life.
I would respectfully submit that this kind of thing as well as what you have said about your father have made you a victim likely to repeat the abuse you suffered. In the absence of some help to attain a more healthy view of familial relationships, I am sorry to say that I suspect this will be repeated on your children.
It doesn't matter because I would never have children. I can't wait to have a vasectomy.
JayN, if the men are the only ones getting regular practice disciplining the child, and the women are the only ones getting practice nurturing the child...
what happens when/if one of the parents die, walk out, are drafted by the military, etc? The poor child will be left with a parent who knows exactly one-half of what the child needs to develop normally.
Of course, "a good beating" kind of tells me where the child's development ranks on your list of priorities, so perhaps I am wasting my time on you altogether...
If one parents dies, then his/her responsability will be lacking, unless you can get an equal figure like a grandfather/grandmother, uncle/aunt, etc.
Yeah, let's pretend kids don't need to be punished. That must be why kids these days are true savages.
No idea what you mean? Do you think I should dumb something down for him?
That was the joke, yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayN
If one parents dies, then his/her responsability will be lacking, unless you can get an equal figure like a grandfather/grandmother, uncle/aunt, etc.
Exactly. So parents who subscribe to your way of thinking ("nurturing is the mother's job, discipline the father's") are intentionally putting their child at risk of this particular consequence of losing a parent (as if losing a parent isn't bad enough) for no good reason. Don't you find the purpose of parenting is to do all you can to ensure the child grows up well-rounded? Not just, you know, what you want to do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayN
Yeah, let's pretend kids don't need to be punished. That must be why kids these days are true savages.
Sometimes kids need to be punished. Sometimes other methods of correction are sufficient and anything beyond these methods can do more harm than good. It depends, and on more than what the parent personally feels like doing at the time, mind you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayN
It doesn't matter because I would never have children. I can't wait to have a vasectomy.
If one parents dies, then his/her responsability will be lacking, unless you can get an equal figure like a grandfather/grandmother, uncle/aunt, etc.
Inefficient nonsense. If both parents engage in, and become proficient in, all tasks related to the upbringing of a child - without recourse to these archaic notions of gender roles to which you appear to subscribe - then the issue simple is non-existent.
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